Issues
by emisonfeelz
Summary: Can two broken hearts find healing and comfort in each other?
1. Struggle

It's 11:11pm. "Make a wish Em", I say to myself as I close my eyes and take a slow, long, deep breath as the cool nighttime air enters the open window and gently kisses my cheeks. Pursing my lips, I exhale slowly and release my wish through them, all the while keeping my eyes closed. I hear it all. The sound of tired business men and women making their way home after a extra long day at work, taxis angrily honking at each other, lovers sharing an intimate embrace, old friends meeting up for a drink, you name it. It's the sound of life. New York City life to be more specific. It's the sound of normalcy. It's monotonous. It's the sound of people living free and I hate them for it. Under that layer of hatred is the true essence of what I feel in this moment. Jealousy.

I long to be free of my past. I long to be free of my mind. I long to be free of my thoughts, emotions, and the damn images that never seem to completely escape me. I close my eyes and they haunt me whenever they feel like it. That's why this glass of bourbon occupies my fingertips, soothes my throat, and dulls my senses. How can I just be me, Emily Fields, and not the monster that gazes back at me in the mirror? Instead, there is only a shell of a human being, a woman that used to have dreams, untapped potential, and an eagerness to love and be loved.

Lub dub... lub dub... lub dub... goes my heart. God, who knew it still existed. It feels like all that's left in there is hollowed out scar tissue. The sound of my vibrating phone on the kitchen table stirs me from my thoughts. Walking away from the window, I down the rest of the large glass of bourbon and check my phone. One new message from Hanna. "God, what does she want now" I say aloud. Opening up the text, I see a link to a website. "TMZ... God damnit, what now? What could they be possibly running" I ask myself. I take a deep breath and read the article aloud to myself. "We got her! Here's Emily Fields out again in New York City. Looking sexy as usual. Dressed in a skin tight, black dress and sky high heels, Emily is clearly out on the town to get drunk and maybe even take home yet another slutty looking woman. We've stopped keeping track of her body count. Sadly, sources say she did not have another drunken meltdown. In fact, she was spotted leaving alone and quite early in the night. What's with this mysterious woman?" Feeling the anger inside me rapidly warm my face and quicken my breathing, I feel the urge to throw something, hit something, destroy anything really. I settle for throwing my empty glass of bourbon across the room and against the wall. "Why can't these people just leave me alone? Haven't you people had enough fun picking at me? Move on to someone else" I yell at the top of my lungs. God I can't breathe. I've gotta get it out. I know, I'll go to my place. I'll release it all there. I can't take this feeling anymore. I need to breathe.


	2. Chrome

"Don't get in any fights tonight, have a meltdown, get too drunk, or take some skank home with you tonight okay Emily? You have a big day tomorrow. I only say this to you because you know I love you and have your back" said Hanna over the phone. Sighing loudly I replied, "Yes Han I know. That's why you're the best. I promise I won't do any of those things. I'll just have a drink at this new bar okay? I'll be awake and ready for you by 6:30". Even though Hanna could come across as a little rough sometimes, it's what I need. As my assistant, she knows me better than most people. She knows my weaknesses, my triggers, and my behavioral patterns. That's why she's okay with me going to this new bar. I don't do well when I'm alone. My mind needs the stimulation. Darkness and silence breaks me. That's why I'm hardly ever home, alone, and sober at night. An endless flow of alcohol and easy women fill the void so I don't have to look at myself, my actions, and my choices.

I hail a taxi and sit silently in the back seat in my dark denim pants, ankle boots, cream lace shirt, and my hair slicked back in a tight bun. Within 30 minutes, I arrive at the new bar. I hand the taxi driver a $100 bill and tell him, "Keep the change. Buy your wife some roses. Tell her you love her". Stepping out of the cab, my eyes are instantly drawn to the entrance to the bar. Very sleek, shiny, and obviously brand new. Simply lit above the doorway is the word Chrome. I swing open the front door, step inside, and take in my surroundings. The interior of the bar is very minimalistic. Black and chrome are the only colors in the place. Slowly walking through, I grab a quick drink at the shiny bar top. "Scotch. Make it a double" I say to the bartender. Raising his eyebrows he says, "Alrighty then. Coming right up". As I look around, there aren't too many people here yet. There's a few young business men loudly laughing at a table, two old guys in a booth, two chicks at the bar, and a few other random people. I eye an empty booth in the very back of the bar because it has the best view of the entire place. Sitting down, I take a sip and then process all the things happening around me. The place smells clean and like new metal. The lighting is dim and casts the perfect balance of mystery, intimacy, and intrigue upon each person's face. The music is soft yet loud enough that you can clearly recognize what's playing. My my, is that Sinatra I hear? So obviously the owners are going for a modernized touch with a hint of old timey New York. Sitting back in my seat, I take a deep breath and slowly sip at my glass of scotch. I like this place. I feel calm when I'm here. I like people watching too. No one seems to recognize me, so that's a major plus.

I've been sitting here completely uninterrupted for a few hours now. I've been people watching and conjuring up their life stories and current situation. I'm amusing myself with stories of lost loves finally reuniting, coworkers stepping out of the friend zone, old men sharing war stories, and countless other nonsensical imaginative stories. I begin to think about what I would give to be one of these people right now. My daydream is cut short by a new customer that just walked through the front door. I sit up in my seat, eagerly watching and waiting to begin my storytelling process with this new customer. She's of average height, maybe a couple inches shorter than me. She's blonde, average weight and proportional curves, and has a heart shaped face. Even from all the way back here and in the dim lighting, I can see her most prominent feature... her eyes. They're blue. Not just any sort of blue either. They're... almost indescribable. Her gait is very smoothe and even. Her hair is up in a tight bun, just like mine. She's wearing a simple black dress that cinches at the waist and flows outward. Her makeup is very natural and minimal. That's okay though cause she clearly doesn't need it. She picks an empty seat away from everyone at the bar and orders a glass of red wine. By now, she's unknowingly caught the attention of every younger man in the bar. "Impressive" I whisper to myself. She's not even trying and she's completely unaware of the effortless draw to her. My eyes return to this woman only to see her periodically staring off at nothing, sipping her glass, and mindlessly running her finger around the rim of the glass. I can see various men whispering and point at her as if they're building up the courage to go talk to her. The most attractive young business man in the bar is the first to make the move. Resting back in my seat again, I wait to see how she's going to react to this potential romantic prospect. Coyly stepping up to the bar a few steps from her, he orders a drink. While waiting, he begins to talk to her all the while flashing an admittedly sexy and charming smile. Much to my surprise, she politely smiles, says a few words to him, and turns back to focusing on her glass of wine. With a look of utter shock on his face, the attractive man politely says goodbye and returns to his buddies, completely confused, and obviously not used to being rejected.

"Oh damnnn... she flat out rejected him. That was unexpected" I say to myself. I can immediately feel myself becoming more and more intrigued by this woman. Time and time again, various men try their hand at attempting to win her over. Time and time again, she politely rejects them and returns to nursing her glass of wine. Maybe she's gay, I think to myself. The mere thought of that sends a sudden tingle through me.

The usual Emily would have instantly stood up at that thought and had my hand at trying to get in this woman's pants. Cause let's face it, it's never been a challenge for me. I can pick up a woman at the drop of a hat, take her back to my place, and have my way with her. Maybe it's the bar, the mood, the tranquil state I was currently in, or Hanna in the back of my mind reminding me to not pick up some random girl, but I just sat there and watched this appealing and unassuming blonde. After a few minutes I decide to get up to go talk to her in a purely friendly sort of way. Just as I get up from my seat, the blonde looks at her phone, downs the rest of her glass, leaves some money at the bar top, and heads for the door. Crap, I better hurry after her before she leaves. I quickly force my way through the room completely ignoring the few people saying, "Hey, wait a minute. Isn't that?" and I'm instead stopped in my tracks by the first man that approached the mysterious blonde. "Hey girl. What's a pretty thing like you doing leaving a bar alone" he says drunkenly smiling, grabbing my waist, and pulling me close to him. "Don't touch me" I angrily say while quickly weaseling myself from his clutches. My eyes dart for the door. Damnit, she's gone. Bursting through the door to the outside street, I scan both directions looking for any sign of her. I quickly spot her ducking her head into a cab and riding off into the bustling New York street.

"So close" I whisper to myself.


	3. Thoughts

The next morning, I jetted off to Milan for the week to work on various photo shoots for different designers. The life of a model may seem like paradise; however, I'm here to tell you that it sucks. Especially since I know what normal life feels like. Sure I have a fabulous team of women that have been with me every step of the way from obscurity to international star. Hanna, my assistant and social media consultant, Aria, my hair and makeup queen, and Spencer, my phenomenal stylist, are my girls. They've been my rock through some very murky waters. Any assignment, any interview, any jet setting destination, they're right there with me.

In between shoots or on breaks, we did a some touring in the city. I swear I felt like I saw her everywhere. She was always on my mind. I kept replaying every move she made that night in the bar.

"Emily, what's wrong? You seem off today. Do you need to take a break," asked the photographer with a gentle smile. "Huh?... Oh I'm sorry. I'm fine. Let's continue" I reply not really meaning the words coming out of my mouth. The photographer walks up to me and says, "Okay well. Let me see if I can help you get in the moment. Obviously you're modeling tasteful, classy, and sexy corsets, bra, and underwear sets. I want you to feel sexy and empowered in them. Make me feel like you're trying to seduce the camera. Are you currently dating someone? If not, do you have a love interest? Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself wearing this outfit for that person. Think about the emotions, thoughts, and desires behind that moment of anticipation before they see you. Then that moment finally arrives and they're there, standing before you. You're caught up in the moment. The sexual tension is virtually palpable. Now... show me what that looks like".

I listened to every word that came out of his mouth, paused for a moment, and just smiled to myself. I thought of her again. Click! "Yes! There it is! Keep going" yelled the photographer rather excitedly. I thought of her in that black dress, the way she so effortlessly and unknowingly commanded the attention of the room. I thought about what it'd be like to kiss her lips and have those enchanting blue eyes looking up at me. Click! Click! "Yes! Give me more" he yelled. Soon Aria, Spencer, and Hanna were joining in with, "Damnnn girl", "You're looking so hot right now", "Who the hell are you thinking about?"

We finished the shoot soon after that. Before I left the set, the photographer stopped me and said, "Go ahead and keep that piece for whoever it is you were thinking of just now. They're clearly a source of inspiration and should really have a chance to see you in that in person". Giggling to myself, I smile and agree to keep the piece. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized that it was my favorite piece of them all. I felt the sexiest in it and it really suited me. It was black, supportive, flattering, skin tight, and full of lace. Who knows. Maybe one day I will wear this for her.


	4. Advice

We arrived back in New York in the evening. Locking the door behind me, I turn around and face it. A dark, silent, empty apartment stares back at me and I can feel my anxiety building in my chest. "I can't do this. Not tonight" I say aloud as I drop my luggage where I stood and head out the door. My thoughts begin to race and before I know it, I'm stepping out into the crisp, nighttime air only to gaze upon a familiar entrance. Opening the door, the familiar smell envelops my nose again. The smell of Chrome. Within an instant, I can feel myself breathe again. I stroll to the bar top and before I can give my order, the bartender fromthe last time I was here hands me a glass and says, "Scotch. Double. On the house". "Thank you. Wait, how did you remember that? I've only been in here once? It was a week ago too" I replied with a sense of surprise. "Well, I know who you are even though most people around here don't seem to recognize you. Plus, most women don't drink this. It sticks out" he replied before he turned to tend to the next customer.

Looking around, I can see that the place has obviously generated a larger crowd. Damn. My spot is taken. Actually, there really isn't much room left. Then I see it. Two seats further down the bar top, one of them being where she sat completely peaceful all on her own just about a week ago. I settle for sitting in the seat next to it and begin flipping through Instagram and casually sipping on my drink.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" a gentle voice asks me. Looking up from my phone, I realize it's an old man. He most definitely is the cutest old man I've seen in my life. He's got the vibe of your stereotypical sweet grandpa. I flash him a big smile and encourage him to sit down next to me. "My heavens young lady. You have such a beautiful smile" he says looking me right in the eyes. "Aww. Why thank you. You're quite the gentleman I must say" I reply flashing him another smile. "May I be a little bold with you?" he furthers. "Um sure" I reply feeling intrigued at what he's going to say or do. The old man looks me in the eyes, practically peering straight to my soul, and says, "Tell me dear. Your smile is beautiful and projects that you're happy. But... your eyes... they say something different. They're sad... guarded... full of pain. Why is that?"

"Oh. Wow. Umm" I replied admittedly shocked by his question. Holding my hand and flashing a gentle smile, he said, "I'm sorry for being so forward. I just saw you sitting here and I don't know... I thought I might be able to pass on some of my wisdom". I looked into this man's eyes and saw that he was in fact being very genuine. There was a part of me that felt like I could open up, even if it were only a little bit.

"Well. I guess you're right. I am very guarded and I am in a lot of pain. I think it stems from my tours overseas in the military. I... saw a lot of things.. I did things that I can't get out of my mind. I lost people I cared about and maybe it's just been too painful to deal with. So I hide behind a smile" I say with tears building in my eyes, clouding my vision, and begging to fall down my face. Squeezing my hand a little tighter he said, "I know what you mean my dear. You close your eyes, and the images torment you. You try and dull the pain with alcohol. You hate being alone but you refuse to let anyone in for fear they won't be able to handle your baggage. I hit rock bottom a year after I returned from war. I had lost everything, was homeless, and lost all my friends. I was sitting on a street corner, contemplating suicide, when this beautiful women sat down next to me. To make a long story short, she took me to a nearby restaurant, bought me anything I wanted to eat, and took me back to her place to shower and freshen up. We talked for hours and hours. I felt like I was more than just some dirty, pathetic homeless man to her. Jump to 3 years later, and there we were. On the beach, hand in hand, and getting married before friends and family. This woman changed my life. She brought me out of the darkness. My advice to you would be to allow yourself to feel the things that have happened in your past. Mourn your losses. Feel. Really feel. Even if it seems unbearable. Then, I challenge you to let someone in. Let them see the real you. Don't let the fear paralyze you because pure happiness could be a constant in your life.You deserve that".

Listening to this man pour his heart out to me and give me deep and meaningful advice struck me to my core. It was just the thing that I needed to hear. Every word that came out of his mouth was the God's honest truth. I couldn't help the tears the softly fell from my face as he spoke. Standing up, the old man lovingly cupped my face in his hands, wiped away my tears, kissed my forehead, and said, "That's it... feel... remember... you deserve to be happy. Something tells me that there are still great things ahead for you. I hope one day we will meet again and I can see your smiling face with equally joyful eyes".

I couldn't help but smother him with a huge hug and thank him for his words of wisdom. "Wait, I never got your name. I'm Emily Fields" I say while shaking his hand. With a charming little smile, the old man said, "Walter Scott. Goodnight to you Emily Fields".

I sincerely hope I see this man again.

After the Walter leaves, I sit back down in my seat and wipe away excess tears. Fearing people will notice that I've been crying, I attempt to compose myself and stop sniffling. The buzzing of my phone indicating an incoming call forces me to hasten my attempt to compose myself. "Hey Han, what's up" I answer. Sounding peeved, Hanna replies, "Emily... are you at a bar? We just got home! Forget it. Anyway, I called to tell you that the photographer from Milan got the editor of the magazine to make you the cover girl for next month. I'll text you the picture they're thinking of using when they get it to me. Em.. this is great for your career. This is huge exposure. There is just one catch. They want to fly you back to Italy to do a lengthy sit down interview. You up for that?". "Uh well... yea I guess I can do that. I'll call you tomorrow okay? Thank you Hanna" I replied before hanging up.

I was so caught up in the phone call that I totally didn't register that someone was sitting down next to me. I look to my side and see strappy black heels, dark wash jeans, a simple white top, and a blonde with her hair in a twisted updo. Swiveling around in her seat, I get a better look at this woman's face. I let out an audible gasp. It's her. It's really her.


	5. Hello

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you" giggled the blonde. "I... uh... no... it's fine" I fumbled. God what is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous all of the sudden? Picking up women is effortless for me. But why does this make me feel like I'm on my heels and unsure about myself? Her burgundy tinted lips widened to a big smile and said, "Good. Let's try this again. Hello," she said reaching out her hand for a handshake. Smirking, I shook her hand and said, "Hello". Was she coming onto to me or was she just being nice? I decide to investigate further. "So, can I buy you a drink?" I asked swirling around the glass of scotch in my hand. She shifted herself in her seat with an uncomfortable look on her face and replied with an uneasy smile, "No. That'sokay. I've got it".

Shot. Down. This feeling in the pit of my stomach was something I'm definitely not used to feeling. Rejection burns man. As a result, I can feel my walls quickly building another layer of safety. I could feel my body language changing from open to closed off as I turn away from her and mumble to myself, "Okay then" in a snarky tone of voice. The next thing I know, I feel her hand gently grabbing my forearm. "Hey. Wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off harsh...Hey... look at me" she said softly. Wanting to hold firm and not look her in the eyes, I hesitated for a moment before I finally caved and gazed into her captivating blue eyes. Keeping her grasp on my forearm, she smiled at me and continued, "I just don't like owing people anything and I... Oh excuse me". Son of a bitch, her phone just rang. "Hey! Mhm. Okay I'll be right there." she said to the person on the other end of the phone before she hung up. Looking back at me, she stood up and said, "I'm sorry. I have to go. Have a good night".

Feeling dejected, I down the rest of my glass and slam it hard on the table. Are you kidding me?! I finally get to talk to her and she has to leave. "Hey. Don't feel bad. That's the most she's said or interacted with anyone in this place. She's a complicated one. That's for sure. Never really had a customer like her before. But if you're asking me, she was intrigued by you. Maybe even had a little thing for you" said the bartender as he wiped a few glasses dry and put them on the shelf. "Really? You think so? Cause it sure felt like she was rejecting me" I reply while slouching down in my seat and crossing my arms over my torso. "Oh trust me. She didn't give you the same speech she gives everyone else. It's literally the same thing every single time. You seriously couldn't tell from the way she was looking at you? I'd bet you 100 bucks she'd still be talking to you right now of she didn't have to leave" he replied. Feeling a little better about myself I ask, "Hey, so how often does she come in here"? Thinking for a moment, the bartender replied, "It's actually every other day. She orders the same glass of wine. And she only ever drinks that one glass of wine. No matter how many men offer to buy her a drink. So if you want to see her again, I suggest you come back the day after tomorrow".

Smiling to myself I say, "Hm. Maybe I will once I'm done with an interview in Milan". I place a hundred dollar bill on the table and say, "Thank you. Really. You've been a big help. Keep the change. You deserve it".

Throughout the cab ride home, I replayed our brief encounter in my head over and over again. I thought about every word she spoke, her touch, her sense of assertiveness, her smile, and her eyes. Those eyes. My God. They were kind eyes. Yet there were many layers to them. I saw a sense of insecurity. They seemed closed off and guarded too. The bartender was right. She was a complicated woman. Once I arrived back at my apartment, it was 1 am. I wasn't even tired. I just kept thinking about her. All of these thoughts and feelings running through me inspired me to go to my place and capture the sense of creativity I was currently experiencing.

I headed to the back of my apartment, to the place no one ever gets to go to. I slowly unlock the door, open it, turn on the light, and look around at the mess I made of the place the last time I was here. The last time I was here, I felt like I couldn't breathe and I was full of anger. Boy what a difference a few days make. I grabbed a broom and swept up broken glass. I picked up a table I had flipped over and carefully rearranged the items that belonged on it. Then, I walked over to the large window and sat down at my stool in front of a fresh canvas. I chose my colors, picked up my brush, and began to paint.

I was so engrossed in the moment, I lost track of the time. It was just me and my canvas. The place where I'm the happiest. The place where hundreds of colors flow from the tips of various brushes and capture the essence of the moment of creativity. Sometimes my creations are bright and joyful. Since I've come home from deployment and started my new life as a model, my work hasn't been so bright. It's been quite dark actually. Taking a step back, I pause for a moment to look at what I've created. The lighting from the sunrise casts a heavenly glow upon the canvas and really brings to life the focus of the painting.

"Knock knock. Emily. It's Hanna. Can I come in?" said a voice at the door to my studio. Still engrossed in my creation and not really paying attention to what was said, I reply, "It's unlocked". The door slowly creaked open and I heard an audible gasp behind me.


	6. Cycle

Walking around, admiring the place, and soaking in every detail, Hanna said, "So this is what's behind this door... Emily... this place is incredible. I had no idea you painted. And my God, you're so talented". Making her way over to me with a huge smile on her face, she continued, "Thank you for allowing me to come in here".

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't really mean to let her in here so I just smiled and hugged her. Maybe it was time for her to see this place though.

Hanna raised her eyebrows and gazed upon my newest creation. "Em, this... this is really something. It's beautiful. Who is she?" furthered Hanna.

Spinning around to face my painting I paused before I said, "Well... I... uh... I met someone".

Throwing me a snarky look, Hanna crossed her arms and said, "Emily, I love you, but you meet a lot of women. You sleep with a lot of women too".

"Hanna. I know that. But... this one's different" I continued with a smile on my face at the mere thought of her.

"Oh. Well thennnn. I have never seen this look on your face before. She really must be something. What's her name?" she asked.

Ringing my hands I looked at her with a nervous look and replied, "I don't know her name. We only met for a few minutes but... no this is crazy. I'm being crazy". Suddenly, I feel a warm flood of embarrassment rush my cheeks and make me feel very vulnerable. I don't like this feeling.

Gently grabbing my arm to have me face her, Hanna replied, "Em. Don't get upset. I'm not judging you. I'm happy that you're this happy and excited. You know that's all I want for you. And plus, a name is easy to get. Where did you meet her?"

"We met at this place called Chrome. The bartender told me that she comes in every other day so I figured, based on that pattern, I'd try and see her again when we got back from the interview in Milan" I said with a hopeful smile.

"Of course! You promise me something though. You'll give me all the details once you have them correct? You know I love love" giggled Hanna.

It's been 5 weeks since I've been back from Milan. I've been to Chrome on the nights she usually shows up. I've even been on other nights. I've tried different times too. The end result is always the same. She never shows. I've consulted with the bartender, Mark, who's now become a confidant of sorts. He promises he hasn't seen her since the night that we met each other and she had to leave. I believe him too. Over these weeks, my thoughts have run wild. Did I scare her away? Did she move away? Does she have a boyfriend now? Heck maybe even a girlfriend? I've had my good days where I keep the faith that she will walk through that door again. I've also had my bad days...well mostly bad days, where I get too drunk, get too sad, get into arguments, have a panic attack from a flashback, or I take home some easy woman. Every time I behave this way, I wake up the next morning instantly regretting my behavior and subsequently hating myself for it. Cycling again sucks. I'm not liking this psychological state I've been in. I was better when the thought of her warmed me and made me want to be better. Hanna, Aria, and Spencer have been very supportive as usual, even when I lash out at them in anger. They all want me to find her again one day. They even look for her on the streets when they're going about their lives. Hanna has even convinced me to try dating. Not just sleeping with women. She thinks that even if it isn't the blonde, a perfectly wonderful woman could still be out there for me. Plus, it will be good practice to go out on dates for if the day does come when we meet again and potentially go on a date. Deep down, I know she's right. The thought just terrifies me though. The thought of being truly vulnerable shakes me to my core. I'd almost rather get shot out in the middle of the desert of Afghanistan than be so totally open with someone. That being said though, as ridiculous as it sounds, I have a spot at a speed dating event in the city this Friday.


	7. Switch

Today has been one of my good days. I haven't even had the urge to drink and I haven't had any intrusive thoughts or flashbacks. Aria, Hanna, and Spencer are over at my place, helping me get ready for the speed dating event this evening.

"T minus 2 hours ladies! Let's get to work" exclaimed Hanna excitedly as she plopped on my bed.

"I'll start on hair first. Hanna and Aria, you go fight over the outfit" said Spencer.

Leaning down to whisper in my ear, Spencer said, "That'll keep em busy for awhile. Now, really. Tell me how you're feeling and what you're thinking".

Spencer has always been the more philosophical, psychological, mature one of the group. She's taken on the role of a mom really. She's exactly what I need in this moment without Hanna making some sexual comment or Aria talking about how much she loves love. "Well if I'm being honest, I'm terrified right now. You know me, I am a mess. It's hard to love someone like me. I still think about her Spencer. But I also know that I need to grow up, start settling down, and find myself a good woman. I need to learn to push myself, be vulnerable, and get out of my comfort zone. So here I am. Emily Fields, going to speed dating. Now. What are we thinking with the hair?"

"First off Emily, it's very easy to love you. You don't understand how amazing you really are. You just have to find a girl that's willing to peel back all the layers of you and get through your rough and guarded exterior. Cause on the inside, there is nothing but pure gold. I'm so proud of you for thinking like this and acting like this. I'm not even sure I'd be brave enough to do this. But enough about that. Hair time. I'm thinking Dutch braid on the crown of your hair line, morphed into a half up half down hairstyle. The down part is loosely curled. Thoughts?"

"Absolutely! I love it! That's gonna look amazing. Thank you Spencer" I replied eagerly.

Busting back into the room, Aria and Hanna appeared holding my outfit in their hands. Giggling, Hanna said, "So after what 30 minutes of deliberation and fighting, we have settled on your outfit my dear. We hope you like it".

"Oh damn Spence. Her hair looks amazing! Anyway, Em, let's get started on the makeup. I'm thinking a very natural look tonight. Let's show off just how beautiful you are even without a ton of makeup. I'm thinking pale lips and light, shiny, golden brown eyeshadow. What do you think?" questioned Aria.

Knock, knock, knock! "Em hurry up! How long does it take to put in clothes? I wanna see your sexy self" yelled a clearly annoyed Hanna.

Her words were muffled in my ears for I was completely focused on the image I saw gazing back at me in the mirror. I thought to myself, who was this girl looking back at me? Who would have thought that shy, dishevelled art student would turn into a military soldier and then a world renowned model? I've changed so much in my life. I've grown more towards acceptance of myself, even the awful parts of my being. But tonight's not the night to think about the past. It's time to think about the future. Taking one final twirl in the mirror, I notice something. I'm smiling. Genuinely smiling. I feel pretty too and not like some sex object or just some designer's canvas to portray their desired image. I think this is my favorite look they've ever created for me.

I fling open the door to my three friends eagerly waiting to see their masterpiece come to life.

First I see Spencer. Her jaw is practically on the floor and she says nothing as she just stares at me. God bless Aria, she just starts crying like a Mom watching her daughter in her gown on her wedding day. And Hanna, oh Hanna. She just slow claps and yells, "DAYUUMMM!!! Take a spin for us". Pretending to be an announcer, she continues with, "Here we have Emily Fields, looking absolutely stunning tonight. Let's start from the top shall we? We have a classy Dutch braid half up half down hairstyle from the talented Spencer. Working our way down, we have a natural look with soft lips and big, shimmery eyes from the lovely Aria. Now on to outfit. From yours truly, and the fine assist from Aria, we have ourselves some swirly, dangling gold earrings, Bohemian style gold and pearl accented necklace, a simple tucked in white top covered by a fitted black blazer with scalloped trim, simply breathtaking shiny, gold patterned pants, and to top it all off, a pair of sky high, strappy, black heels".

"Thank you guys so much. I really mean that. I would be completely lost without y'all. I just want you all to know that I feel so pretty right now. This will only help me get out there tonight and really try and make a connection with someone" I say starting to feel tears building up. Giving me big hugs goodbye, the girls head home and I head to the event in the city.

I step out of the cab and hope that no paparazzi were around or followed me here. I take the elevator to the rooftop of the brand new hotel in Manhattan feeling my nerves grow with every floor I ascend. When the elevator doors open, I step out into a vine covered trellis archway with twinkle lights intertwined within them. The ending of the walkway dumped into a small clearing with two women sitting at a sign in table with name tags.

"Hello. Our final guest has arrived. Oh girl I loveee the outfit! May I have you name please?" said one of the women at the table. Feeling anxious, I nervously thanked her and whispered, "Emily. Emily Fields".

The older of the two ladies smiled and said, "Honey. It's okay. We know who you are. We aren't going to say anything. There's nothing but complete discretion here. We want you to have a good time. So breathe. You look amazing. Here's your name tag. Find your way to table #13. We'll begin in a few minutes. Have fun".

Her kind face and reassuring words calmed my nerves and gave me the confidence to walk into the next opening on the rooftop. Hightop tables with simple candle and flower center pieces cast a romantic glow in the moonlit sky. Soft, jazzy music played in the background while a gentle roar of conversation filled the air. I walked around the venue and found table #13. Across the table was tall, skinny woman with short blonde hair looked down at her phone. She wore a simple black, pink, and gray floral patterned dress and had the overall look of a 1st grade teacher. I have to admit, she was pretty cute in an innocent sort of way. Taking a step forward, I set my phone and wallet down on the table, trying to get her attention. As a result, the blonde looked up at me and her jaw practically hit the table.

"I, um, uh, hi. I'm Sarah" said the blonde nervously as she reached out to shake my hand.

Smiling and chuckling to myself, I shook her hand and said, "Hi. I'm Emily. Nice to meet you".

Sarah couldn't stop looking at me and was obviously flustered. It was kinda cute actually.

Trying to make her feel better I asked, "Are you just as nervous as I am? I've never done anything like this before".

Seeming to visibly relax, Sarah sighed and replied, "Okay good, you're nervous too. I've never done anything like this either." Blushing, Sarah shyly averted her gaze and said, "And I'm sorry for being so weird. It's just... you're absolutely stunning. And I love your outfit. The whole look really".

Smiling widely I replied, "Thank you. Your dress is really pretty too."

The sudden sound of someone thumping a microphone interrupted our conversation. "Attention ladies. It's time to begin tonight's event. You'll have 10 minutes to talk to each other. When you hear us say switch, the person standing in front of the card #2 will switch to the table to their right. Those standing in front of card #1 will stay in place. At any point in the night, if you'd like to exchange numbers with anyone to continue a relationship after tonight, feel free to do so. Now relax and have some fun. Waiters will be by with champagne in just a moment".

And with that, the event began. My conversation with Sarah was great. She is in fact a teacher. She loves old movies, cooking, going to art museums, traveling, and has a serious weakness for cookies. I noticed I found myself really liking her in our short time together. We exchanged numbers right before they told us to switch. Seeing as I was in the #1 spot, I stayed in place. The next girl that came to the table, Amelia, was very petite, Latina, and a little curvy. We talked, but the connection just wasn't there for the both of us.

Next up was Brooklyn. Boy she was something else. She was African American, sassy, a lot taller than me, in peak fitness, and overally physically beautiful. I soon discovered she was a celebrity personal trainer. Our conversation was fine, but it seemed more like a friendship. We both agreed to share numbers to build a friendship, and she agreed to help me if I ever wanted to get to the next level in my physical fitness.

Caroline, the lawyer, Jessica, the veterinarian, and Amanda, the 3rd year resident, were all beautiful and intriguing in their own way. I got all of their numbers and started to feel really positive about how this was going. Then the endless wave of disappointment began.

Between Lin who clearly just wanted to have sex, Fiona, a goth, self proclaimed sex addict and drug user, Jaime who ended up crying about her ex, Sophia who decided midway through the event that she wasn't really gay and just wanted to stay for the champagne, and Robin, the therapist, who ended up just trying to psychoanalyze me, I was feeling the need to just leave. It all just seemed like it was unsuccessful except for a few possibilities. There was no one who really stuck out though. No one that really blew me away.

I looked down, closed my eyes, and began rubbing circles over my temples in frustration and disappointment as I heard someone say over the microphone, "Okay ladies, this is our last round for the night. Enjoy!"

"Hello" said a soft and calming voice. I quickly opened my eyes, not knowing someone had already arrived at my table.

"Oh my God. It's you" I said without even thinking.


	8. Chance

Furrowing her eyebrows and tilting her head to the side in confusion, she replied, "I'm sorry. Have we met before?"

"I, well, yes. We have. But only briefly" I replied fumbling through the thought. Oh my God I seriously can't believe she's standing here in front of me. What are the chances? And God she looks amazing. She's wearing her hair down tonight in loose curls. Her hair is so long and shiny. Her highlights twinkle in the moonlight that simultaneously casts a flattering glow upon her pale, flawless skin. Her blue ruffled top matches her eyes perfectly and her cream colored lace pencil skirt hugs her curves in all the right places. Her makeup is simple as usual with a simple shimmer gloss on her lips. I know I've been gawking at her beauty for too long cause she's looking at me with an odd expression on her face. "We met a few weeks ago at Chrome. I offered to buy you a drink, you politely declined my offer, received a phone call, and had to leave" I continued, hoping to jog her memory.

Her eyes instantly widened and then a deep red color overcame her cheeks as she looked down at the table. Still looking down, she replied, "I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you. Your hair was up and you had a very different look about you when we first met". Looking back up at me, she continued, "But I definitely remember you now".

The look in her eyes when she said that to me sent chills all throughout my body. Smiling widely, I said, "Good. Cause clearly I remember you". Extending my hand I furthered, "I'm Emily".

Pausing for a moment, she looked at my hand, back up to my face, and then back to my outstretched hand. She gently placed her hand in mine and said, "Alison". The simple touch of our hands instantly sent a jolt through me. Jesus Emily, she's just shaking your hand. But her hands are just so soft and I feel such a connection to her.

After taking a sip of champagne I ask, "So Alison. What do you do for a living?".

She's looking me up and down, obviously sizing me up and processing racing thoughts in her head. "I'm a pediatric nurse. And actually, I just finished a transition period into working in the ER. That's actually why I had to leave the first night we met. It was a hectic night in the ER so they were calling in extra hands".

Oh my God she's a nurse. This just makes her even more attractive. I should have figured she was a nurse. There is such a calming, nurturing side to her that it would make total sense for her to be a nurse.

"I'm sorry if I offended you when I declined your offer. I was going to say that I have a personal thing about not owing people anything, especially when I can pay for something myself," she continued. Glaring her focus on my eyes even more than she already had, she continued, "But that wasn't a rejection to have you stop talking to me. Honestly, if I didn't get that call, I would have continued talking to you".

Again, her words sent chills through my entire body and made me instantly think of the bartender at Chrome. He was right. She was into me. I think she still is too. The thought of this made me blush hard. Trying to conceal it, I picked up my glass and took another sip of champagne. This girl really makes me jittery. Only in the best way of course.

"So. Emily. What do you do for a living?" she asks looking genuinely interested.

Suddenly I can feel my walls building up. Why is this happening I think to myself? For God sakes she's right in front of me, wanting to get to know me, and now I'm freezing up. Don't close up. Open up and be honest I chant to my inner thoughts. You've been nuts about this girl. Now damnit Emily, stop being afraid. There could be something to this connection with this girl.

"I'm a model. I'm pretty well known for it too" I replied. Realizing how awful that sounded, I hurriedly continued, "Wait. I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that. That made me sound snotty and egotistical. I just meant that I'm not starting out. I'm established with a company". Great. Good job Emily. Now she's going to think I'm full of myself.

Reaching over the table, Alison gently squeezed my hand and said, "Emily. It's okay. Honestly. I didn't take it like that. You don't strike me as your stereotypical, self-absorbed model. I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with your work. I wouldn't mind looking at some though".

Taking a huge sigh of relief I pull out my phone to show her some of my favorites when a voice over the microphone interrupts me. "Alright ladies. Times up. Thank you for coming tonight. We hope you've made a connection with someone here tonight. Safe travels home".

Times up already?! I frantically look up at her and said, "Alison, I don't mean to be forward or assuming, but I'd really like to keep talking to you. I don't know, there's just something about you that I really like and I'd like to see where this goes. What do ya say?" Please, please, please say yes I think to myself!

Smiling a sexy little smirk, Alison replied, "No. I don't think you're being too forward. How about a walk in Central Park? It's not far from here and it's quiet at this time of night".

Oh thank God! She wants to keep talking too. And that smile and the way she's looking at me right now is driving me up the wall. Alison is a sexy woman, no doubt about that.


	9. Whisper

Alison and I walked to Central Park not really saying much to one another. We simply walked beside each other in silence, just appreciating each other's company. I thought about the speed dating event, our conversation, and the intense physical attraction I felt for her. I found myself smiling as I walked beside her, occasionally looking up at her and watching her deep in thought.

We'd been walking in the park for a few minutes before I noticed there was no one around. The park was absolutely silent expect for the gentle roar of crickets. Stopping in my tracks, I paused for a moment to appreciate the joyful sound, the wind blowing through the trees, and the soft moonlight glow upon the sidewalk.

"Emily, is everything okay?" Ali asked sounding concerned.

"Shh" I replied as I grabbed her hand and guided her to the nearby famous Central Park bridge. Once at the center of the bridge I said, "Close your eyes and just listen".

Alison smiled as she closed her eyes. I kept my eyes open and watched her take in all the sounds and smells around us.

"Crickets, frogs, a gentle, cool breeze, and... Night Blooming Jasmine" she said slowly with her eyes still closed.

In that moment, she'd never looked more beautiful. It took everything within me to not kiss her.

Smiling and opening her eyes, Alison said, "Come on, now it's my turn". Taking my hand again, she lead me to a open field nearby. She led me to the center of the opening where she stopped and sat down. Patting her hand on the ground, she gestured for me to sit next to her. I sat down eagerly waiting for what would come next. Alison then laid down on the grass and looked up at the sky with a big smile on her face. I joined her and saw what she was so fascinated by. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the stars were so bright. Our bodies rested next to each other in silence, both appreciating the nature around us.

"Emily, can I confess something to you?" said Alison suddenly.

Turning my head towards her, I replied, "Of course. What's up?"

Turning her head to face me, she giggled and said, "I like this much better than the speed dating event. That was kind of a hot mess. Until I met you of course".

Her little giggle was such a turn on. "Oh yea! You wanna hear about the train wrecks I encountered?" I replied laughing.

Alison giggled and listened to my horror stories. Her giggles turned into full blown laughs. She even had tears from laughing so hard. I love that I can make her laugh like this.

Alison and I continued talking as we looked up at the stars. We talked about our jobs, what they entailed, moments in our jobs that really impacted us, and so much more. I felt like I could listen to her talking about nursing forever and ever. She's so passionate about her work. The look she gets on her face only makes me even more attracted to her. Alison wanted to know more about my team that gets me ready for photoshoots, so I told her all about Hanna, Aria, and Spencer. Out of the corner of my eye, I could periodically see her watching me talk about them and all the good times we've shared.

All of the sudden, I felt Alison slip her hand into mine. Our fingers interlocked perfectly, almost like they were made for each other. I looked over at her and saw her smiling and slightly biting her lower lip. I wanted to kiss those lips so badly, but I new I had to refrain. Everything I've done since I lost my last relationship has only been about sex. I want to take things slowly with Alison. For the first time in a long time, I want more. I want a relationship with Alison. So I settled for a smile and squeezing her hand a little tighter. We stayed like this for a few minutes and just appreciated the closeness we felt in that moment. After looking at her watch, Alison slowly got up and stood above me.

"Come on silly. It's getting late. Plus I'm getting a little cold laying on the grass" she said while extending her hand to help me get up.

Now eye to eye, I could feel my breathing quicken and the need to kiss her feel like torture. I could sense she was feeling the same way. But we both settled on holding hands as we left Central Park. When we reached the street, Alison hailed a cab. Before she stepped inside, she turned to me, extended her hand and said, "Phone please". With that famous, sexy smirk of hers, she put her number in my phone and handed it back to me. Then she stepped close to me, tugged on my blazer to pull me closer to her, and kissed me on the cheek. Pulling away slightly, she whispered in my ear, "Call me" before she hopped inside the cab.

As the cab drove away, I smiled and gently touched my cheek. It's official. I'm hooked. This girl has me wrapped around her finger.

It's almost 3 am by the time I get back to my apartment. Opening my door and turning on the lights reveals Aria curled up in a little ball in my living room chair, fast asleep. Over on the couch, Hanna and Spencer are asleep. The sudden flood of lights slowly wakes them from their slumber.

"Jesus Emily. It's 3 am. Did you at least get some?" asked a sleepy Hanna.

Shoving Hanna's arm, Spencer furthered, "What I think she means is did you find anyone you liked and if you had a good time".

Rubbing her eyes, Aria said, "Oh Em. You look really happy. Come. Sit. Tell us all about it".

I happily joined them and sat in the free chair. I was so gitty. I didn't even know how to express all the feelings inside me at that moment. But I knew one thing for sure. I was very happy. So I preceded to tell them all about the venue, the process, and the various women I spoke with during the event.

"Guys, it was getting really rough there for awhile. So I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples to try and release some frustration. Then I heard a sweet and simple hello coming from across the table. Guys. I opened my eyes and.."

"SPIT IT OUT FOR GOD SAKES EM!" yelled Hanna.

"Yea we wanna know!" yelled Aria and Spencer simultaneously.

Taking a deep breath I continued, "It was her. Like her her. The girl from the bar. Her name's Alison".

"AHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD!" yelled Hanna jumping up from the couch.

"No. Way." replied Spencer obviously in shock.

"Emily. That's gotta be fate. What are the chances of that happening?" said Aria.

"I know right?! So when our time was up, I asked her if we could keep talking because I liked her and wanted to see where things would go. Guys, she agreed and so we took a walk in Central Park" I continued.

Grabbing her chest, Spencer let out an, "Aww! How romantic!".

Looking over to Aria, I said, "Aria, you're really gonna vomit love with what we did next. She grabbed my hand and led me to an open field where we just laid on the grass and looked up at the stars. We kind of just stayed like that for hours talking about the speed dating event, our jobs, and so much more. We laughed so much you guys. There were a couple of times that I really wanted to kiss her but I didn't. I could tell she wanted me to kiss her too".

"But wait. Then why didn't you if the moment was right?" asked Hanna.

Cutting in, Spencer said, "Because she really likes this girl. Everything has just been about sex for her until Alison. This girl is special to Emily. She's going to want to take it slowly".

I nodded my head and said, "Exactly Spencer. There is just something about her that I'm so drawn to. I mean don't get me wrong, she's stunning. But there's just something there. I'm hooked. Plain and simple. So anyway. There was a point when I was talking and she just casually held my hand. I swear to God you guys, there were sparks just from us holding hands. And the way she looked at me... there just aren't any words. Before she left in the cab, she asked for my phone and put her number in it. Then she pulled me close to her and kissed my cheek. She barely pulled away and whispered, "Call me" and got in the cab. It was such a simple, sexy, classy move and now I'm hooked. She's got me wrapped around her finger".

Aria just had sat there with her mouth wide open, Spencer gave me a little smirk, and Hanna just slow clapped and said, "Damn that bitch is smoothe".

"Well I like her" chimed in Aria.

"Yea me too " said Spencer.

"Me three" replied Hanna.

I'm glad they seem to approve. Their opinion means a lot to me. "Aww thanks guys. I want to go on a couple more dates alone with her before I introduce her to you guys. Y'all cool with that?" I asked hoping they'd say yes.

"Of course Em. Take your time. So when do you think you want to see her next? What do you want to do?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know what I want to do next, but I do know that I want to see her again. The sooner the better. I'm going to call her tomorrow and see when our schedules work out for us to meet up. I don't care if that seems overly eager. I just really want to see her" I replied smiling at the thought of her pulling me close and kissing my cheek.


	10. Matter

"Hello" said a familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey Alison, it's Emily" I said eagerly.

"Oh! Hey Emily. What's up?" furthered Alison.

"So I was wondering when you'd be free to hang out?" I asked hoping she'd still want to see where things go between us.

"Ummm... hmmm. Lemme think real quick. I'm at work right now and I'll be exhausted after work. So how about tomorrow? Will you be free too? I don't know how crazy your schedule is" said Alison.

"I'm completely free for a couple weeks so that works out perfectly. How about a day at museums? Maybe check out some food trucks too?" I replied hoping she'd be down to go.

"That sounds great. It'll be fun" she said sounding excited.

"Can I meet you outside your apartment and we'll head out together?" I said hoping that wasn't too forward for her.

She paused for a bit before she said, "How about I just meet you in Central Park and we'll head from there?"

Damn. Too much Em. It was worth a shot though. "Okay. Sounds good. I'll meet you at 10" I said excitedly, secretly trying to hide my disappointment.

Today's the day. I'm standing outside Central Park. I check my phone and see it's 10:15. Alison's still not here. I know I'm in the right spot. Did she hit traffic? Is she standing me up? Oh God please tell me she's not standing me up. I'm nervously rubbing my hands together and looking around for her. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there she is with that famous smile. A huge sigh of relief escapes my lungs and I give her a big hug.

"Someone's excited to see me" giggled Alison.

Breaking the hug, I kiss her on the cheek and respond, "You have no idea". I grab her hand, smile, and say, "Come on. Let's go. I want to take you to this underground place I heard about that's not far from here."

Alison blushed and happily followed me. We walk hand in hand on our way to the underground museum. We turn down an alleyway and walk all the way to the door at the end.

"Emily are you sure this is safe?" asks Alison squeezing my hand a little tighter.

"Yes. I'm sure. It's gonna be great. Trust me", I reply with a little wink.

This seemed to calm her cause she loosened her grip and followed me inside. Once inside, we descend a few flights of stairs toward the lowest level of the basement. Still holding her hand, I lead her inside.

"Oh my goodness this place is incredible!" she gasps as she looks around at all the sculptures and artwork hanging on the walls. I'm too busy watching Alison be in awe to notice all the artwork from famous underground street artists. There's only a few people here so the place practically feels like it's all just for us. Alison takes my hand again and slowly walks side by side with me throughout the gallery.

Stopping, Alison pauses, looks at me, and asks, "Emily, do you have any artistic talents?"

"Ummm... I've been known to dabble at times. But I'm not nearly as good as these guys," I say pointing at the next painting and moving the conversation along. I'm just not sure I'm ready to show her that side of me yet. Much less take her to the secret studio section of my apartment. I hope to one day do so though. I'd love to paint her as she models in front of me. The thought of this brings a smile to my face and causes her to ask, "Whatcha thinking about? You look deep in thought".

Stirring me from my thoughts, I reply, "Oh nothing. Just thinking about how happy I am right now".

Blushing, Alison responds, "Good. Me too. Let's go to the next place."

For the rest of the day, we toured museums and various art galleries. Midway through the day, we stopped at a food truck rally and got something to eat.

We were only stopped by a couple of fans that asked to take a picture with me. I don't mind taking pictures with fans or stopping to chat with them for a bit. It's paparazzi that I can't stand. Luckily I haven't spotted any all day. Things are just starting out with Alison and I don't want to drag her into the crazy world of paparazzi and crazy news agencies poking and prodding at your every move. Thinking about this makes me hope that Alison hasn't done any Internet searches on me. If she has, she'll see all kinds of awful things about me, some true, some false. But I'm different now. She's making me better. My friends are making me better. I feel like I should tell her later about what I'm thinking and feeling right now. If I want this to work, I need to be open and honest with her.

It's getting to be about 6 pm and we have gone to a lot of places today. That being said, I still don't want this day to end. I decide to be bold again and say, "Hey, do you want to come back to my place? Maybe we can order in and talk some more?"

Smiling wide, Alison replies, "I'd love to".

I get so excited that she said yes that I actually do a little dance. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I know, I'm such a weirdo.

Laughing, Alison gently shoves my arm and says, "You're such a dork. It's cute though".

Once we're at my apartment, I tell her to make herself comfortable while I call and order Chinese from a little place not far from my apartment. I come back into the living room to see Alison casually walking around, looking at everything in my apartment. This chick really notices everything. That's one of the things I like about her. She's attentive and she lives in the moment.

Alison's POV

Emily's in the other room ordering dinner, so I take this opportunity to check out her apartment. It's not what I would expect a world renowned model's apartment to look like. It's located on the top floor in this older looking brick building. Much of the wall detail inside also has brick. The overall design and accents are quiet cozy with a country, rustic feel. To be honest, I was expecting a more modern feel in a nicer apartment complex located in a wealthier part of town. Once again, Emily keeps me on my toes. She's not what I expected and that's part of what I find to be so appealing about her. Emily is so kind, thoughtful, patient with her fans, mysterious, and honestly quite complex and complicated.

There have been a couple of times in Central Park and on our date today when I've really wanted her to kiss me. I can tell she noticed and really wanted to kiss me. But... she stops herself and I'm not exactly sure why. Is she teasing me? Does she want to take things slowly? Is she trying to figure out if she really likes me? There are so many questions that I have for Emily that I don't really even know where to begin too. Some of these questions aren't going to be easy to talk about either. But if I want to see where this goes and potentially foster a lasting relationship, these things need to be discussed. The healthy, confident side of me knows this needs to happen. The guarded, insecure, scared part of me also knows that she'll expect the same from me. I don't know if I am ready to expose myself like that. So much has happened to me that it's difficult to let anyone else in. My heart wants to let her in though. My heart just has to override the cautious voices in my head.

"What has you so pensive?" asks Emily from across the room.

"Oh just some stuff. Emily, can we talk?" I say with a serious tone.

A look of worry overcomes her face and she plops herself next to me on the couch. "Alison, what's wrong?" she says nervously.

Taking a deep breath, I say, "I've just been doing a lot of thinking. And well, I have questions for you. I also feel like I need to be more honest with you".

Emily grabs my hand, encouraging me to continue.

"I'm just going to be honest with you and tell you that the night I came home from Central Park, my curiosity got the best of me. I Googled you to learn a little more about your work and more about you as a person. I have to admit that I read nothing but article after article of things that weren't so flattering about you. There were pictures and videos too. You were either really drunk or angry and you were all over slutty looking girls".

Emily's face turns red with anger and she pulls away from me. "Well if you're just going to sit here and judge me for my past behavior and be self righteous about it, then you can just leave" says Emily in an ever increasing angry tone.

I reach out for her hand but she pulls away even further and gets up from the couch saying, "No! Don't touch me!" I can see her walls building up inside her.

"Emily, please sit. Let me finish what I have to say. Don't get angry. Please" I say hoping she'll calm down and hear me out. Thankfully she sits back down.

"What I'm trying to say is, I know the media can't possibly tell the whole story. There's a reason you behaved like that. I guess I'm just confused. Because clearly I don't look like those girls. I'm not skinny, wear revealing clothes, or throw myself at you. Am I just another conquest to you? A challenge from the usual type of girl you go after?"

Emily gets up again with an angry look on her face. Yelling now, she says, "See. There you go again sounding judgy and making assumptions about me when you have no idea who I am or what I've been through!"

I'm feeling a little angry and hurt at the sound of her voice and the anger that she's showing towards me. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I look away from her in an attempt to hide my hurt feelings. "Maybe I should just go" I say as I pick up my purse and head for the door. My hand is on the doorknob, ready to turn it and open the door when I hear Emily say in a soft voice, "You mean something to me".

I turn around and face her. "What did you say?" knowing full well what she just said.

Wiping away tears on her face she says, "You're not just some conquest. You matter to me".

Her words cut through to my heart and a sudden urge to run across the room and kiss her begins to build within me.

"Please stay. Continue with what you have to say" she says sitting back on the couch.

I join her and say, "Can you understand where I'm coming from though? I'm nothing like those girls. But I know one thing though. You're not like what I saw online. There is so much more to you than all that stuff. You're so different. I don't know what caused that to happen, but I'd like to know how you went from being one way to now seeming to be the complete opposite?"

Pausing for a bit, Emily looks down. I can see she's processing what I said and is trying to figure out what to say next. Looking back up at me with those beautiful brown eyes, she says, "This is going to sound super weird, but the answer is you. You've changed me".

"Me? How could I have changed you? We haven't even known each other that long" I ask feeling puzzled.

"You're going to think I'm a creep. There was one night at Chrome that I sat in the back, drinking alone, and watching everyone in the bar. That night, I saw you for the first time. I saw you sit all by yourself, order a glass of wine, and politely reject every man that tried to buy you a drink a tried to get to know you. I don't know. There was just something intriguing about you. And... I thought you were absolutely stunning. I tried to catch you before you left but I couldn't get to you in time. So I came back another night in hopes of talking to you. That night, I had this amazing conversation with this older gentleman about opening up and letting love in. It got me thinking about how I'd been behaving. Then I met you and tried to buy you a drink. And well, you know the rest".

Holding my hands now, Emily says, "This sounds crazy, but I just feel something when I'm around you that I've never felt before. It terrifies me and excites me all at once. There's a spark between us. Not just a physical one either. You just make me want to be better. I know it sounds crazy and like it couldn't possibly happen this fast. It's just for the first time in a long time, I want something meaningful. I want a relationship. I... I just like who I am when I'm around you. I want to get to know you. I want to see where this goes. I want to have these kind of conversations because that's how you grow in a relationship".

I love everything she just said to me. It felt very honest and genuine. Squeezing her hands tighter, I reply, "Well that makes me really happy to hear. No, I don't think it's creepy. Cause I feel it too. I'm scared about how much I like you already. I've never had it happen this fast before. Can I confess something to you since you've opened up to me?".

Emily smiles and nods for me to continue. "You see, I haven't been in a serious relationship for over 2 years now. I haven't even tried dating much either. I...". I can feel my throat closing up and tears begin to cloud my vision. "I haven't told anyone about this. The only people that know about it are my parents back home. It's just been too painful to talk about. To be honest, I haven't found anyone that's made me want to open up and talk about it. About two years ago, I finally ended things with my girlfriend of about a year and a half. We'd always had a heated relationship, but she'd changed overtime. She started out being emotionally abusive. Then it turned into physical abuse. You see, she was much bigger and stronger than me. She was a special forces Marine. When she came back from deployment, she'd changed so much. She began suffering from PTSD and had a horrible temper. I tried to help her through it, but she was dead set on living in her misery and not changing things so she could get better. Then the jealousy and delusions came into play. She used to think I was cheating on her even though I wasn't. She began to isolate me too. There was one night that she came home drunk, screaming and yelling at me. She thought I was cheating on her with the neighbor. When I denied it and tried to get her to sober up, she hit me. There was something different about this night. She was just so angry".

I could feel tears begin to fall down my face as I recalled this horrible memory. Emily sat closer to me and held my hands even tighter. "So she kept hitting me. She threw me up against the wall and started choking me. Emily I tried my best to fight her off, but it was no use. She was just too strong. I tried to yell for help, but I couldn't breathe. My vision started to blur and I thought I was going to die when she finally let go of me. I'm on the floor trying to catch my breath when I realized that she had gone in the kitchen and got the butcher knife. She just lunged at me and started screaming about how I was a bitch and a whore. I was nothing without her and I was an awful person for cheating on her".

My tears turn into a full blown sob, but I continue on. I can see Emily's starting to tear up too. She pulls me close to her chest and just holds me as I continue to cry and tell my story. "That's when she began to repeatedly stab me with the knife. Emily it was the worst pain I'd felt in my life. That's when the cops burst through the door and one of the cops tackled her off of me. But the damage had already been done. She'd stabbed me a total of 12 times. I was bleeding out on our living room floor and I could feel myself slipping away. I knew I was dying because I couldn't feel anything anymore. That's when I passed out. I woke up in the hospital almost 3 weeks later. The doctor's said I was lucky to be alive. They'd never seen anyone with my degree of injury survive such a vicious attack. To make an even longer story short, the jury decided to send my ex girlfriend to a mental institution instead of jail. They believed her story that it was the PTSD that made her do it. That's when my family and I made the decision to have me move away from home in Pennsylvania and change my name. Here in New York, I'm Alison Fairfield. My real name is Alison Dilaurentis. One day Emily, she will get out. And come that day, she'll come looking for me".

I feels good to finally tell someone. It's such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Sensing I'm done telling my story, Emily kisses me on the top of my head and starts stroking my hair as she continues to hold me.

"Alison, I'm honored that you feel comfortable enough to share this part of your life with me. I am so so sorry that she did that to you and changed your life forever. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. I want you to know that this doesn't change how I feel about you. I still want to get to know you. I still want you in my life. I promise you, I will never treat you like that. You're safe with me" says Emily lovingly.

Here in her arms, I feel safe. I feel safe to let my guard down around her. I'm happy I told Emily about this awful chapter in my life. I'm even happier that this doesn't change things between us.


	11. Honesty

Emily's POV

I've been sitting here on the couch in silence with Alison in my arms for a few minutes now. She's resting her head on my chest with her arm draped across my stomach as I softly run my fingers through her long, blonde hair. A million thoughts and emotions are running through my mind and my heart right now. I can't believe this happened to her. I can't believe she feels comfortable enough to tell me her story. I feel honored but at the same time, I can't shake this awful feeling beginning in the pit of my stomach and rising up my chest.

I have to tell her. But I can't. She might leave me and I don't want her to leave me. When she looks at me, all she'll see is her ex and she'll wonder if I'll end up doing the same thing to her. She won't trust me. This will be over before it even had a chance to begin. Maybe I won't tell her. It's not like I'm ever going to hurt her like that. Yet again, if she can't accept this part of my life, then she isn't the one for me. I need someone that loves and accepts every part of me. And honesty, it's the only way any lasting relationship can form and be sustained. I have to tell her.

Taking a deep breath, I softly say, "Alison, I need to tell you something".

She can tell by the tone in my voice that what I'm about to tell her is something serious cause she gets off of my chest and sits up. I can see the worry in her eyes, begging me not to say something that could change us forever.

I take her hands and say, "What I'm about to tell you may make you leave me and never come back. That's the last thing I want, but if I want us to be something, you have to know all the good and bad parts of me. I need to be honest, even if it may be difficult".

Squeezing my hands tighter, Alison's face turns from worried to desperate. "Emily, please. Just tell me. You're scaring me".

I can't look at her when I say this because the look in her eyes might just break me. But I have to do it. "Alison... I... I was in the military. I was deployed overseas a few times".

Her eyes widen as she realizes what I just said. I see her mind racing but I continue. "I did so many things, just awful things while I was over there. I changed. I was good at being a solider, a hunter even. I became a killing machine. I lost myself over there. When I came back here, I was so angry all the time. I couldn't turn my mind off. I couldn't get the visions out of my head. I started having nightmares and breakdowns in public. I started drinking to numb the pain, the visions, just everything".

Alison pulled away from me with a look of pure horror. She got up off the couch mumbling to herself, "I can't believe this. I... I just. I can't do this. I swore to myself that I wouldn't go down this path with anyone again".

Painful tears begin to fall down my cheeks and I can feel my heart breaking. "Alison, please! I got help! I'm getting better! I swear! Please don't leave!"

She pauses and remains facing the door. "Emily, I just can't. I can't go down this road again. It almost killed me the last time. I'm sorry".

She gently opens the door and looks back at me with tears in her eyes. Those beautiful eyes of hers are full of so much pain, saddness, and disappointment. I want to run to her, hold her, and make her see that'd I'd never hurt her but my body won't move. I'm frozen in place. I'm feeling every fiber of my heart rip in two at the sight of her walking out the door. Can't she see what's she's doing to me? Can't she see that I'm not like her ex?

With the click of the door closing shut, I begin to sob. But frustration floods my soul and makes me lose control. I flip the coffee table over, throw the lamp across the room, and begin to destroy everything I can get my hands on. Glass shatters everywhere and my apartment is a mess. Pausing in my kitchen, I look at my liquor cabinet and take out a bottle of tequila. "This should do the trick" I say to myself. Then, a familiar voice in my head says to me, "Feel. Really feel. Even if it seems unbearable". These words from the old man Walter cause me to put the bottle of tequila back in the cabinet.

Instead of drinking till I can't feel anymore, I collapse to the kitchen floor and begin to cry. I've never cried this hard or for this long in my life. I think about all the awful things I did overseas. I think about all the people I've killed, the ones I lost over there, and the overwhelming guilt that continually plagues my soul. I cry because I'm hurt that she couldn't accept me. I cry because she couldn't see past her ex's actions and realize that I'm not her. I cry because once again, I'm all alone. I let my walls down, and this is what I get in return. I cry because I really like her. She was changing me for the better. She was helping me heal.

I lose track of time for how long I've been crying on the floor. The click of the front door opening pauses the endless tears. I look up and see Hanna, Aria, and Spencer walk into the room. Their faces say it all. They're shocked at the state of my apartment as they look around at the destruction I caused. When they finally look at the kitchen they see me helpless on the floor. They rush towards me and fall to the floor next to me. Spencer grabs me and pulls me close to her chest, resting my head in the crook of her neck. I continue to sob as she softly rocks back and forth with me in her arms, trying to soothe me. Hanna's hand is covering her mouth in shock and tears begin build in her eyes. Aria gently rubs her hand on my leg, fighting back the urge to cry too.

After a few minutes of silence, Spencer finally asks, "Emily what happened? What's wrong?"

Struggling to catch my breath and talk through my ugly cry, I finally say, "I let my walls down and she left me".

Looking confused, Aria says, "Em what do you mean? Alison left you?"

My lip quivers as I nod my head yes.

Hanna reaches out and takes my hands. "Sweetie, tell us everything that happened" she says in a soft voice.

Taking a deep breath, still snuggled up in Spencer's arms, I tell them everything that happened that day starting from our date and ending with her walking out the door. After I finished, there was a few moments of silence while they collected their thoughts.

Going first, Spencer says, "Em, I first want to say that I'm so sorry that you're this sad. I've never seen you this broken. It feels like this cry has been a long time coming though. I know she hurt you, but I don't think she meant to. It sounds like it was painful for her too. She's been through a lot. More than most of us ever will. Those kinds of wounds take a long time to heal, if ever. Give her some time. I bet she'll come around".

"Yea Em. It sounds like it took a lot for her to open up to you like that. She obviously trusted you so you obviously mean a great deal to her. You probably just surprised her. I mean she knows you're a model. I bet she never even thought that this could have been a part of your life story. Most models don't fight in wars. Only bad ass ones like you" Aria said giggling, trying to make me laugh.

Hanna places her finger under my chin and guides my face to look up at her. "Emily. Look at me. I know this hurts. But I'm so damn proud of you for opening up the way you did. That shows a lot of growth. I agree with the girls. She doesn't sound like an awful person. She just sounds shocked and scared. I can't say I blame her for being afraid. I'd be cautious too of I was in her shoes. Em, just give her time. She'll come back to you".

Feeling exhausted and like I've cried every tear within me, I smile the best smile I can muster and say, " Thanks for being here guys. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna go to bed. All this crying has made me exhausted. Oh and there's food coming. Feel free to have it. It's already paid for". I hug each of them before I slowly get up and head to my bedroom. I close the door and crawl under the covers. Within moments, I fall fast asleep.


	12. Why

Alison's POV

It's been 26 days since I walked out the door. It's been 26 days and I still cry when I think about it. Especially when I think about the look on her face when I walked out the door. I broke her. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do to her.

It felt amazing to be able to open up to her and tell her about what my ex did to me. There was so much love and kindness in her eyes as she listened to me. When she held me close to her chest and told me that it didn't change how she felt about me, I couldn't have been happier. Emily accepted this awful part of my life and still wanted me. Most people would have run in the opposite direction. Not Emily.

The moment she said that she needed to be honest with me, I instantly knew it was going to be bad. But in my heart, I was praying that what she had to say wouldn't change us forever. I liked where we were in our relationship. The moment she started telling me about her deployments and the person she became as a result of it, I felt my heart stop. All of these memories came flooding back to me and I just couldn't take it. I mean that was the last thing I ever expected to come out of her mouth. She's a model for God sakes! What model is a former soldier? When I got up the leave, the hurt in her eyes and the desperation in her voice broke my heart because I knew that I was breaking hers. She was opening up to me and trying to be honest and I just couldn't handle it. Part of me is ashamed that I couldn't accept this part of her when she so easily accepted mine. It's so unfair of me, but I literally almost died the last time I went down this road with someone. I can't go back to that dark place in my life. I may never be able to crawl my way out again.

I'm at work right now, charting on my patients. Mind can't help but think of Emily. She was so interested in my work and was so attentive to my stories about patients that have impacted me.

"Excuse me, I have a delivery for Alison Fairfield. Can you point me in her direction?" says a male voice from across the room.

"Ali, you've got a delivery. They're quite beautiful too", I hear my charge nurse say to me.

Who the heck would be giving me something? I swivel around in my chair and audibly gasp. I instantly know who ordered them for me. Behind the counter, an older man is holding an enormous arrangement of various colored tulips.

"Do you have a new special someone Ali? Someone clearly likes you" says my charge nurse as she winks at me.

I get up from my chair and walk over to the old man. I thank him and take them back to my station. Sitting down in my chair, I pause for a moment. There's a card attached to the arrangement with my name on it. Oh God I'm so nervous to read it. But God these tulips are beautiful. No one has ever bought me flowers like this before. I take a deep breath and open up the card. Inside, there's a simple, neat, handwritten note that says, "I noticed you smiled and admired tulips in the small floral shop window during our date. I hope you like them. And please. Come back to me. Let me finish explaining everything to you. I promise. I'm never going to hurt you. Please believe me. ~Emily"

Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I can feel my face getting hotter. An overwhelming sense of guilt builds within me and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Leeanne, can you cover for me for like 10 minutes?" I ask trying to conceal my tears. I get up and go to the one place in the hospital that brings me the most peace. The roof. The fresh air and peace and quiet always calms my soul. Bursting onto the rooftop, I gasp for air. Tears still flood my cheeks as I struggle to get a full breath. What have I done? Here I have this girl, still wanting me to be a part of her life even after I broke her heart. I'm just throwing it all away when I could be happy with Emily. I have to fix this. But how? I feel so ashamed of myself. After work, I'll make this right. I'll go home, freshen up, go to Emily's, and hope she still wants me back.


	13. Knock

Emily's POV

It's been 26 days since she walked out my door and left me in pieces on the floor. It's been 26 days since I pushed myself to be honest and let my guard down. Look what that got me. I haven't tried calling or texting her to get her to hear me out. I've only sent her an arrangement of tulips with a handwritten note. That was about three days after she broke things off. It's been over 20 days with no response. My mind has long told me that she's not coming back. My heart on the other hand just can't let go. My heart still wants to give her time. Even that feeling fades on some days.

I must admit that I haven't had a drunken night, a night of meaningless sex with a stranger, or even lost my cool with anyone. I've just been very sad. I've tried to live by Walter's words of advice to allow myself to just feel even when it seems unbearable. Aria, Spencer, and Hanna have done their best to cheer me up. They've succeeded a few times. Hanna even booked me a few shoots over these 26 days. Traveling to India, Hawaii, and Iceland has helped keep my mind off of her at times. But then I'll see someone or something that reminds me of her and then I'm right back to square one.

I'm sitting on my couch in complete silence, looking at a blank TV, thinking about her. A sense of frustration is building in me and I can't help but feel a little ticked. I mean, I reassured her that her horrible past relationship wasn't going to be a problem for me. I wasn't going anywhere. I would never hurt her like that. But why the hell couldn't she accept me? For God sakes not every soldier is going to try and kill their partner. I tried to tell her I got help. I mean I'm trying to get better and heal these wounds. It's like she just shut me out and couldn't be bothered to extend the same accepting courtesy that I so effortlessly and genuinely did for her. The more I think about this, the more angry I'm becoming. I'm gonna text her and give her a piece of my mind. I get up off the couch to get my phone when I hear a knock at the door. I look at the clock and see that it's almost 11 o'clock. "Who the heck is at my door?" I say aloud to myself. It can't be the girls cause they all have a key. Maybe I shouldn't open it. It's getting late and it's probably not safe. But for God sakes Em, you're a solider. You've killed terrorists with your bare hands before. I decide to quietly walk towards the door to see if the person left. That's when I hear another knock. It's a gentle knock. I hear the person whisper, "Please" from the other side of the door. I decide to open it.

I swing the door open and there she is... standing there, looking right at me. I roll my eyes at her and say, "Go away" as I begin to close the door on her.

All of the sudden, I feel a forceful push back on the door and she says,"No" in a very assertive tone. I instantly turn my attention back to her and glare at her. I feel anger begin to build in me again.

"You'd better leave. Remember, I'm dangerous" I retort in an angry and sarcastic tone. I begin to close the door on her again, when she pushes back even harder. She quickly squeezes herself through the doorway, looks me in the eyes, and says, "No. I'm not leaving".

I have to admit. I'm a surprised by her assertiveness. She's caught me off guard.

Taking a deep breath, Alison relaxes her body and says, "Please, can we talk?"

I roll my eyes at her again and say, "Fine. Go ahead. But I can't guarantee you'll get a response out of me" as I close the door and make my way to the kitchen. I can hear her quietly follow me. I go to the sink and fill up a glass of water before I sit down at one of the kitchen's island bar stools. I take a sip of water and I can see she's struggling to figure out what she's going to say. "Well, you blatantly burst your way into my apartment and now you get all quiet? Say whatever it is you have to say" I tell her with a heavy amount of bitterness in my voice.

Alison looks up at me with a furrowed brow and says, "I'm so confused. Why are you acting like this?"

"Why am I acting like this?! Are you serious? You must be joking right now." I say with slightly raised voice.

"Yea. You heard me right!" She says taking a step closer to me, never breaking our eye contact.

Surprisingly, a jolt runs through me the moment she steps closer to me.

Raising her voice now, she continues, "I'm confused because you had the flowers sent to me today! You even left a handwritten note pleading for me to come back so you could explain yourself. Now, when I show up, you act like this?"

"What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't send you flowers today! I sent you flowers weeks ago and you never responded. You did nothing. You clearly couldn't be bothered with me anymore" I spit back at her as I stand up from the chair, towering over her by a few inches.

Pointing her finger and poking my sternum, she spits back, "Nice try, no you sent them today".

Pushing her hand away, I angrily reply, "Don't poke me! What are you? Five years old? And yes I sent them to you three days after you walked out that door even after I looked you in the eyes and begged you to stay".

Stepping back, Alison replies, "Well then there clearly must have been a mix up because I just got them today". Looking down at the floor, she continues, "They were tulips... my favorite. They were beautiful. And... your note. It made me cry".

At this point, she starts tearing up. And at this point, a war breaks out between my mind and my heart. My mind is screaming to stay strong and not cave in but my heart wants to forgive her and make up.

"Oh" is all that manages to come out of my mouth as I look down at the floor. I'm starting to believe that she really did just get them today.

"Emily?" Ali says softly. "Look at me. Please".

I hesitate at first but then look at her.

"The moment I read your note, I realized that I've made a huge mistake. I'm such an idiot. You accepted my baggage with open arms and made me feel safe. You made me feel like I could let my guard down with you. I feel like the real me when I'm with you. I've never felt like that with anyone".

Taking my hands, she continues, "Emily, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I feel awful and completely ashamed of myself. I never should have acted the way that I did. I should have stayed and listened to what you had to say. It's just you caught me off guard and my defenses went up. I got so caught up in self preservation that I neglected your feelings and cast you aside. I'm deeply sorry. I want to continue building upon what we've already established. Can you forgive me?"

I can see in her eyes that she's being genuine. I can see that she really is sorry for hurting me. But God. She really hurt me. Is it smart to just forgive her so easily? Ugh I just don't know!

"I... I just. I need some time to think" I say while nervously wringing my hands.

I can see that these words were not what she was hoping to hear. I can see that she's fighting to conceal tears about to fall down her cheeks. "I understand" she gulps as she begins to head for the door. I can hear her sniffling and I can see she's wiping away tears as she walks away.

A horrible feeling overcomes me. The sight of her walking away again makes me want to throw up. The battle between my mind and my heart begins again. My heart is screaming for me to make her stay. My mind is screaming to take my time and think.

She's almost at my door. My heart is racing. My breath is quickening. My anxiety is building. This is do or die Emily. Make a choice.

I burst out of my seat and run towards the door. She reaches out and begins to open it. I reach the doorway and shove the door closed. Alison jumps and freezes in place in total shock. I turn her around to face me. We're both breathing heavily, only inches apart from each other. We've never been this close. My eyes wander to her lips then back to her mesmerizing blue eyes. I want to feel her lips against mine. I want to take this step. I think she does too.


	14. Desire

My desire to kiss her finally becomes too much to resist. I lean in and close the space between us. I kiss her like I've never kissed anyone in my life. Our lips collide and move in perfect synchrony. With every passing second, I feel each wound in my heart slowly beginning to heal. I push her up against the door and cup my hand around the nape of her neck. I feel her melting under my touch as she pulls me even closer at the waist. The kiss is full of passion and so much meaning.

We finally break the kiss to catch our breath. When I pull away, I see Alison still has her eyes closed, just smiling to herself, as she whispers, "Wow".

Cupping her face in my hands I say, "I'm done with over thinking things. I just want you," right before I pull her in and kiss her again. Her lips are unbelievably soft and I simply can't get enough. Kissing Alison just feels right. This is the feeling I've been searching for all my life. Complete and utter passion and enchantment flows through my veins with every kiss, every look, and every touch. I can tell she feels the same way because she's kissing me back with the same level of desire and intensity. I need her just as much as she needs me. No more getting in our own way. We're better together then we ever were apart.

Pulling away, Alison looks at me and says in a sexy voice, "I want you too". Now giggling, she continues, "And by the way, that was hands down the best kiss of my life".

Smiling, I kiss her on the forehead and say, "Good. You better get used to it. I'm not going anywhere".

"Listen, it's late. Why don't you stay for the night? You can sleep in my bed with me" I say with a convincing smile.

She raises her eyebrow at me and smirks.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter!" I say laughing. "Just sleeping. I promise. I have some extra oversized shirts and sweatpants if you want to change into that. That's what I usually wear to bed anyways".

She pauses for a moment and replies, "Sounds amazing. Thank you. Honestly, I'm so exhausted from work. I feel like I could fall asleep right now".

We both change into comfy clothes and crawl into bed. Alison instantly curls up next to me and lays her head on my chest while sprawling her arm across my stomach. I can feel my heart beating really fast as she does this.

"I can hear your heart beating really fast" she says suddenly.

"Oh yea, sorry about that" I say laughing.

"Don't be. I like that I do that to you" she says as she lifts her head up for another kiss.

I obviously oblige and softly kiss her again. "Goodnight Ali" I say as she rests her head on my chest again.

Lifting her head up again, she looks at me, smiles, and says, "That's the first time you've called me that".

"Oh. Sorry. Do you prefer I stick with Alison?" I say nervously.

Resting her head on my chest again, she says, "No. I don't mind at all. I like it when you call me Ali. Goodnight Em."

I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes to go to sleep. That's the first time she's called me Em. I've gotta say that I love the way it sounds when she says it.

Soon, sleep befalls us as we hold each other under the covers.

"No! No! Stay with me! You're not gonna die on me! Help is coming!" I'm right back in the thick of things. Bullets flying around me, soldiers getting shot, you name it. And there she is, in my arms, bleeding out, and I know there's nothing I can do about it. I'm shouting these things even though I know I'm having another nightmare. But I can't wake myself up from it.

Then I feel gentle hands on my face and someone saying, "Emily, wake up. It's okay, wake up".

My eyes fling open and I'm drenched in sweat. My heart is practically beating out of my chest, and I'm struggling to catch my breath. Disoriented, I look around trying to get my bearings then I see her, sitting up in bed next to me, gently brushing my hair out of my face, and whispering, "Shhh.. it's okay. It's me, Ali. You were having a nightmare. Em, look at me. It's okay".

Breathing in and out heavily, I begin to cry. "I'm sorry Ali. I'm sorry you have to see me like this".

Smiling down at me, Ali takes my hands and says, "Don't apologize. I'm glad I was here". Guiding me to lay my head in her chest, she continues, "Now come on, it's your turn to snuggle".

I happily snuggle up under her neck as I continue to try and compose myself. I take a deep breath in and I realize that she smells like lavender. My absolute favorite. Of course my new favorite person smells amazing too. Plus she's an amazing kisser and she's incredibly soothing. She's exactly what I need right now in my vulnerable moment.

"Thank you for being so gentle and so kind with me" I say as I wrap my arm over her stomach.

Slowly running her fingers through my hair, she kisses me on the top of my head, and replies, "Of course. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Now try and get some sleep".


	15. Wake

Hanna's POV

I know it's a little early, but Spencer, Aria, and I thought we'd come over and surprise Em with a day trip to a private beach. She's been so down lately and we're all just trying to get her mind off of Alison. Personally, I don't think Alison is a bad person. I just think she made a bad choice. Yet at the same time, I can't really blame her. It's a reasonable reaction given what she's been through. Just like Emily, I go through my good days and bad days when I think about the situation. All I want is for Emily to be happy because she is such a wonderful person. I really thought Emily could find some happiness with Alison. But Alison couldn't accept her past. Which frankly today is kinda pissing me off at the thought of it.

Aria, Spencer, and I quietly open the apartment door and enter the living room.

"Still quiet. Maybe she's still asleep" whispers Aria.

Setting the bags on the kitchen table, Spencer continues, "Yea probably. She's been doing a lot of sleeping lately".

"Let's go wake her up" I say as the three of us quietly walk towards the open doorway to Emily's bedroom.

Gasping in suprise, I whisper, "Oh my gosh. Look."

Aria, not far behind me squeezes in behind me and says, "Look at what?... Awww!"

"Wait lemme see" says Spencer softly while trying to see what we're talking about.

"Oh my! Quick, someone take a picture. This is too damn cute" she continues.

I pull out my phone a snap a quick picture. "You guys, I've never seen Em like this. She's so vulnerable with her right now" I say while leaning against the doorway with a big smile on my face. I can honestly say that I've never seen Em like this. The few times when I've found her in bed with another girl, the other girl would always be snuggled up next to Em or they wouldn't even be touching at all. Sometimes, I would just find a naked Emily in bed alone, clearly having kicked the girl out of the apartment after their hook up.

What my eyes behold right now is something completely out of the ordinary for Emily. They're both completely clothed and Emily is sound asleep with her head on Alison's chest and her arm across her stomach. Alison's asleep with her head rested on Emily's and she's gently embracing Emily. They both look so peaceful and so happy. I mean how could I be mad at Alison anymore? Obviously they made up last night and are in a better place.

"I don't know about you guys, but I love it! They're so cute together" giggles Aria.

"I can see why Emily was drawn to her. I mean look at her. She's sound asleep and she still looks stunning" points Spencer.

"Guys, maybe we should go. They're clearly happy the way they are" I suggest.

"Ugh, no, why? I was looking forward to a beach day" Aria complained loudly.

"Shhh! You're gonna wake them!" hissed Spencer immediately.

Sure enough, Emily started moving in her bed and slowly fluttered her eyes open which caused Alison to start to wake up. Taking a long, slow breath in, Emily looked up at Alison and said in her famous, husky morning voice, "Morning Ali".

Smiling down at Emily, Alison kissed her forehead sweetly and replies. "Hey you".

"You missed" replies Emily while raising her eyebrow and smirking up at Alison.

Giggling, Alison replies, "Oh someone's in a mood this morning" before cupping Emily's face in her hand and kissing her lips.

There they are, in their own world, completely oblivious to the audience in the doorway watching this adorable scene unfold. I glance over at Spencer and Aria and see that they're equally in awe of and in love with the scene unfolding before our eyes.

Suddenly, probably without realizing she was saying it aloud, Aria gushes, "Why are y'all so damn cute?"

Alison and Emily instantly stop kissing and quickly turn their attention towards us.

"What the heck you guys?! You scared the crap out of us! What are you doing here? And how long have you been standing there?" Emily asks while sitting up in bed. Alison sits up in bed too so she's side by side with Emily. I can tell she's embarrassed cause her cheeks are really red.

"Long enough to see this cuteness unfold" Spencer says while pointing at the both of them in bed.

Turning her attention to Alison, Emily takes her hand and mumbles, "I'm sorry this is how you're meeting them. I was hoping for something a little more planned."

Smiling sweetly back at Em, she replies, "It's okay. Honestly. They just surprised me. That's all."

Turning her attention to us, she gets out of bed and says, "Hi guys. I'm Alison" while smiling and shaking each of our hands.

We each introduce ourselves and smile at one another, trying to read each other's thoughts.

Emily glares at us as she walks up behind Alison, protectively placing her arm around Alison's waist. She gives us the look of "I know what you're doing. Stop it".

Clearing her throat, Emily interjects, "So. You never answered my question. Why are you here?"

"Well we wanted to surprise you with a day at the beach since you'd been so sad lately" Aria replied.

Emily shot her a death glare and Spencer hit Aria's arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Aria yelled while rubbing her arm.

"What she means is, we all haven't been to the beach in awhile so we thought it'd be fun to go" Spencer added.

Emily's face became red with embarrassment when Alison looked at her.

Seizing the moment to embarrass Emily a little more, I asked, "Alison, would you like to join us? I know we'd like to get to know the girl Emily talks so much about".

Alison smiles and looks to Emily again, who's face is even more red, and says, "Uh.. yes. I'd love to. I just need to head back to my place to grab a few things. I'll be back within an hour."

Within minutes, Alison is changed back into her regular clothes and is ready to leave for her apartment. Emily walks her to the door and I can hear them whispering.

"Can you guys not gawk please? Ever heard of a little privacy?" Emily says to the three of us watching their every move.

Laughing, Alison holds Emily's hand and says, "Em it's okay. Honestly. I'll be back soon" before she gives Emily a quick kiss and heads out the door.

As soon as the door closes, Emily turns around to us and says, "I'm gonna kill you guys".

"Hey don't snap at us" I say winking at Emily. "You're the one that has some explaining and catching up to do".


	16. Shore

Alison's POV

I'm back at my apartment now, trying to figure out what I want to wear and bring for the day all the while processing last night and this morning with Emily's friends. Waking up to Emily felt absolutely incredible. I mean meeting her friends like that was a bit of a shock but that's okay. I wanted to meet them eventually.

Should I pick this suit? It's kinda sexy. This one will drive Emily nuts. But wait, what if that makes me look too easy and slutty to her friends? I better go classy. I want to make a good impression because lord only knows what they think of me after what I did to Emily. I settle on a cut out one piece black swimsuit and a navy and pale blue patterned sarong as a cover up. I grab a few essentials and braid and twist my hair up into a fancy, yet cute ponytail. Luckily the ends are still a little curly from yesterday.

Once I'm back at Emily's apartment, I knock on the door. Emily opens the door, still in her clothes from before. Her mouth instantly drops to the floor as she checks me out from head to toe. I blush but I secretly love that I do this to her.

"Um. Emily? Are you going to let me in?" I say jokingly.

Still checking me out, Emily steps closer to me, bites her lip, and says, "You... you look incredible" before she pulls me in at the waist and kisses me. God the touch of her lips sends such an electrifying jolt through me. I can't help but kiss her back with the same amount of lust and desire for more.

"Alright alright! Break it up you two. Get a room!" Hanna says jokingly.

Emily pulls away, looks at Hanna, and continues to kiss me as she gestures for Hanna to go away. I like this sudden change in Emily's PDA.

"Hey! No no! Cool your jets Emily. I must check out her outfit" continues Hanna.

"Ugh fine. I'll go get ready" she says clearly annoyed as she heads for her room.

Hanna just stands there, looking at me from head to toe. She smiles and just starts doing a slow clap.

"Nice... very nice... love the choices. Aria, Spencer, whatcha think?" Hanna yells to them.

"Let the damn girl in Hanna for God sakes!" yells Spencer from the kitchen.

Smiling, I walk my way into the kitchen, admittedly proud of my outfit choice.

"Damn girl. Looking good! Love the sarong" says Aria approvingly.

"Perfect amount of classy and sexy. Nicely done Alison. Love the hair too" replies Spencer as she plays with my long ponytail.

Sweet. They all approve of the look. I don't know why I care so much about this. I guess I just want them to like me. My mind then wonders to the thought of what Emily's going to wear. No sooner did the thought come to mind do I hear a cat call whistle and an, "Ow! Ow! Hot damn Em!" from Hanna.

I turn around and there she is, posing in the doorway in a shimmery, gold, cutout one piece swim suit. She's not posing for everyone though. No, this is just for me. While all eyes are on her, her eyes are glued on me. I can't help but lick my lips. Clearly satisfied with the effect she was having on me, she gave me a sexy come hither look. I slowly walk towards her, taking in every inch of her. Once I'm only a step away from her, I pause and gaze into those big brown eyes of hers. "Wow" is all that's able to escape my mouth. A devilish smile forms across her face right before she grabs my hand and pulls me into her room. After she slams the door shut, she locks the door and turns to face me.

"Hey, what the heck?! You two better not be having sex in there! We have a beach to get to" yells Aria from the other side of the door.

Stepping closer to me, Emily gets within inches of my face and says, "Ignore them" right before she kisses me. I feel myself melting under her touch. Pulling away, she goes to her book self, pulls down an old record, gently places it on the record player, and turns up the volume.

"Let's Get It On? Really Em?" I say while laughing hysterically.

"I'm just messing with them. I actually just want a minute to talk to you alone" she says as she motions me into her walk in closet.

I can hear Aria banging on the door yelling, "Hey! I said no sex!" as I follow Emily.

"Are you really okay with all of this? We don't have to go if you are uncomfortable. I mean last night was really great and I kinda wanted to spend the day with just you" says Emily looking kind of bummed out.

"Em, honestly. I don't mind at all. I wanted to meet them eventually. They seem great. Don't worry. Let's go have fun at the beach" I say smiling. Pressing my forehead against hers I continue, "And yes, last night was really great. I liked waking up to you". I hope that wasn't too forward. It's the truth though!

Smiling widely Emily replies, "Me too. God I wish I could have you all to myself today".

Walking away, I turn around at the door, wink at her, and say, "You may not have me to yourself during the day...but who knows about tonight".

A couple hours later, we arrive at this beach house mansion in The Hamptons. Getting out of the car, I'm left completely speechless at the grandiosity of the home. The inside of the home is equally as stunning as the outside. The view from the back porch is breathtaking. A large pool, patio set, lounging chairs, and a grill greets you first. Then a simple sandy walkway leads you to the private beach with even more lounging chairs, umbrellas, and even a volleyball net.

"Who owns this place?" I ask Emily who is laughing at my amazement.

"It belongs to a photographer that lives in Milan full time. This is one of his vacation homes. He let's me stay here sometimes when I need to get away. No one's ever been here except me. Aria, Spencer, and Hanna haven't even been here. I guess the worked something out with him in their attempt to surprise me" Emily replies.

"It's really beautiful out here. So peaceful. I feel like I could stay here forever" I say aloud without thinking.

"I'm glad you like it too. It's kind of one of my sanctuary spots" replies Emily.

For the rest of the day, we lay out on the beach, play some volleyball, swim in the pool, talk, and simply enjoy each other's company. I really like Emily's friends. They all seem like a real family. It's abundantly clear that they love her and want the best for her. In the little moments where I've been pulled aside to have private conversations with Aria, Spencer, and Hanna, I get the sense that they really want to know more about me and if I'm in it for real with Emily. They don't want me to hurt her again. To each of them, I've explained how I was a complete idiot and finally realized all that I was missing out on. I try to ensure them that even though we haven't been with each other for very long, something seems so familiar and right about being around Emily. I've developed strong feelings for her in a very short amount of time. Even though that scares me, I still want to continue my relationship with Emily. It's all still so new and there is still so much to learn about each other. With each individual conversation, I feel as if they are beginning to trust me and maybe even like me.

It's after dinner now and we are all sitting at the dinner table in silence, just watching the sun set over the horizon. It's truly breathtaking and I suddenly feel the need to have some alone time with Emily.

"Em, want to go for a walk on the beach?" I ask hoping she'll say yes.

"Absolutely" she replies while extending her hand for me to take.

I slip my hand into hers and we walk hand in hand to the shoreline. Our fingers interlock perfectly as we walk in silence, just listening to the waves gently crashing on the shore.

"Fits like a glove" smiles Emily as she looks down at our hands.

"You bet it does" I reply while squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"You know? Today's been great. I mean really great. I got to know you some more and I got to know your friends. They're seriously hilarious. And it's clear they are very protective over you and love you dearly" I say as we continue to stroll along the shoreline.

Looking over at me, Emily replies, "Yea, I'm sorry about that. I noticed they had little, private conversations with you here and there throughout the day. I hope they didn't treat you too much like over protective parents. They mean well honestly".

"Oh I wasn't bothered or flustered by it at all. In fact, I thought it was very sweet. They're apart of you and I'm glad I can learn more about that special part of your life. I just hope they like me as much as I like them" I continue.

"Are you kidding me? Like? They freaking love you! They think you're really nice, intelligent, funny, spunky, beautiful, you name it. The list goes on and on" replies Emily as she sits down on the sand and gestures me to sit next to her.

"Really?! Oh thank goodness. That makes me feel better" I say with a huge sigh of relief.

The sun is about to vanish over the horizon. I wiggle closer to Emily and rest my head on her shoulder. We sit in silence for a bit, simply capturing every second of this remarkable sunset.

"I'm really happy you're here with me" Emily says sweetly. "I'm never going to forget this moment".

"There's no other place I'd rather be" I reply while looking into her brown eyes that are sparkling in the light of the sunset.

"Hey. Let's take a picture so we can always remember this moment" I suggest while pulling out my phone. Turning around so our backs are to the sunset, we snap a couple selfies with the pink, orange, and yellow sky behind us. We take one regular smiling picture, one with Emily kissing my cheek while my eyes are closed, and one of us kissing each other, clearly happy to be together in our own little world.


	17. Paparazzi

Emily's POV

It's been a few weeks since our day at the beach house. I haven't had the chance to see Alison in person during these weeks due to our equally busy and exhausting schedules. She's been picking up extra shifts to make more money and I've had fittings, shoots, meetings, and interviews in LA, Atlanta, London, and Japan. Alison and I have been taking advantage of Skype in order to keep in touch. I find myself missing her all the time. My skin feels cold without her warm and gentle touch.

Thankfully, starting tomorrow, I get a break for a few weeks. Alison tells me she's going to take off of work for a few days so we can celebrate all of our hard work. The thought of seeing her again, holding her, and kissing her lips is all that's going to get me through till tomorrow.

On a more serious note, I have some questions for her that I know we haven't talked about before and I don't think she's thought about. As of now, the paparazzi and the media haven't caught us together in public or even suspect that I'm seeing someone. I don't mind letting the world know that we're seeing each other, but I don't know if she feels the same way. I know once we'd go public, the paparazzi would swarm her and try and find out every little detail about her life. I'm mostly used to the invasion of privacy, but I know she isn't. Paparazzi and the media can be a lot to deal with and can chip away at your self confidence if you let it.

I worry for her safety. I worry that she won't be able to handle the pressure they will put on her. I worry about a lot of things. That's why I need to have this conversation with her.

It's the evening of the first night I'm back home in a few days and I'm waiting for Alison to come over. It's just a simple night in for us. Pizza and the movie, The Bodyguard, is on the agenda for tonight. It's one of my all time favorite movies and Alison's never seen it before. I'm looking forward to snuggling up to Ali, smelling her intoxicating lavender lotion, and feeling her soft hands hold me close.

A knock at the door stirs me from my thoughts, causing me to jump up and run to the door. I excitedly fling the door open and practically tackle Ali with a gigantic hug. Kissing her between each word I say, "I... missed.. you... so... freaking... much".

Smiling against my kisses Ali finally pulls away and says, "I've missed you more".

"Come inside! The pizza should be here in a few minutes" I say grabbing her hand and leading her into my apartment.

The pizza arrives a few minutes later and we sit down on the couch together as we mindlessly chow down and watch the movie.  
As the movie progresses, we snuggle up closer to one another. It's almost like an innate need to be close to one another. I love to glance over at Ali and see her completely enthralled in the movie and totally unaware that I'm watching her. My God I mean look at her, she's just so damn beautiful. It's so effortless for her and I can't believe she's all mine. As the movie comes to an end, I can see she's tearing up. I mean the ending is super emotional, but I just think it's so cute how she's so into this movie.

"How have I not seen this movie before?! Where has it been all my life?!" Ali says laughing at herself and wiping away her tears.

"I'm glad you like it. It's one of my all time favorites. I like watching old movies and TV shows. I know that makes me sound really old" I continue as I laugh at myself.

"I think it's adorable. Can we watch some of your favorite old tv shows" Ali says with a pretty please look in her face.

"Of course, but there's some things I want to talk about first" I say sitting up and facing towards her.

Ali sits up too and says, "Sure. What's up?"

"Well I've been doing a lot of thinking. We've been having this thing between us for a little bit now and I really like how we continue to grow together and learn more about each other. I know that the paparazzi and the media haven't caught on to us yet but to be honest, it's only a matter of time. I mean I don't want us to feel like we have to hide out from the world, but at the same time, I struggle with what bringing you into the spotlight could do to you. I mean once they realize that there's something between us, they will swarm you. They will want to know everything about you. Your privacy will go out the window. All because you're associated with me. I fear what that will do for your self concept, your sanity, and most importantly, your safety. I don't know if that will ruin your cover here in New York. I just don't know if we've ever really thought about that aspect of the situation. Ali all I know is that I don't want to lose you. I want you. I want the whole world to know that you're with me and I like who I am when I'm with you. So what do you think about what I've said?" I ask Alison as I hold her hands.

She pauses for awhile, collecting her thoughts. "I mean I think you're right. We haven't thought about that aspect before. Lemme just say that my cover is very deep. I had a lot of help from the police and doctors to make me look different and to help change my identity. My get away story and decoy setup is quiet extensive. I mean everyone except my parents and the police think I left for London after all of the stuff happened with my ex. Plus the facility she is in is very locked down to the outside world so I doubt she'd find out about us in there. My friends never liked her and she never had any friends so I doubt she'd find out that way. That's saying people would even recognize me. If I'm being honest, I am a little worried about paparazzi and the media. I've never been under a microscope like that so I can't even imagine what that feels like. If they went digging, they wouldn't find anything except what the police generated for me. I don't have any social media accounts and I pay for everything in cash. Plus my life is pretty boring so I feel like they'd get bored of me really quickly. If I ever felt overwhelmed or frustrated, I know you'd be there to help me get through it".

Squeezing my hands a little tighter, she looks at me, and continues, "Em, I guess what I'm trying to say is that while it makes me a little worried, I think you're worth it. Hell we're worth it! I want people to know that you're off limits. I don't want to hide us away and be paranoid every five seconds that someone may be watching, just waiting to snap a picture of us kissing. We will just get through this one day at a time. Together".

I can't help but give her a big hug. I was hoping she'd say that! "Ali you have no idea how happy that makes me".

Flashing her my famous smirk, I continue, "So... Ali... I was wondering if you'd like to make it official and be my girlfriend?"

Holding her chin and pretending to think about it, Ali says,"Hmmm.. now let me think. I don't know... Of course Em! I'd gladly be your official girlfriend!"

Leaning in, she stops right before our lips connect and says, "No more hiding".

I smile and close the space between our lips. This time Ali initially takes the lead and kisses me with such fiery passion. The touch of our lips makes my heart flutter with excitement. It all just feels so right. In this moment, I couldn't be happier.


	18. Open

Emily's POV

Last night was incredible. Alison and I officially become a couple. We ended up falling asleep on the couch after staying up late watching my favorite old shows. Waking up next to her is still something that I can't get used to. It feels like as soon as my eyes see her sleeping peacefully next to me, my heart starts racing and I can't help but smile. Somehow, I manage to slyly wiggle my way off the couch without waking her so I could go to the kitchen and make us breakfast.

I decided on making French toast with a side of strawberries and bananas. I'm trying to be as quiet as possible so I can wake her up and suprise her with an already made breakfast. I look over to the couch and she's still sound asleep, curled up in a ball. I return my focus to the French toast and begin to think about what we could do today. Suddenly, I feel a warm hand touch my shoulder. I was so lost in thought, I didn't even hear her wake up or walk over to me so I screamed and jumped, nearly knocking the pan off the stove.

Turning around, I see Ali standing behind me with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard. Breathing heavily with my hand over my heart, I say, "Oh my God babe you scared the crap out of me! I just looked and saw you were sound asleep!"

Wiping away her tears, still chuckling, she says, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to frighten you! I know I walk very quietly. It's kind of a nurse thing".

"It's okay. I'm just gonna start calling you a ninja" I say laughing.

Stepping closer to me, Ali looks at me and says with a sexy smirk, "And by the way... I like the sound of you calling me babe".

"Oh you do?" I say coyly. I lean in and whisper in an authoritative and sexy voice just inches from her lips, "Well you better get used to it... babe" before I kiss her. I can feel her smiling against my kisses. God this girl drives me wild. I'll never have enough of her.

Now seated at the kitchen table to eat, I ask, "So, do you have any ideas about what you want to do today?"

"Hmm... thoughts on a pottery class and lunch?" she replies before taking a bite of French Toast.

"Holy crap Em this is so good! Do you know how to cook in general or is this just a specialty of yours?" she asks taking another bite.

I shrug my shoulders and reply, "Eh. But thank you. I'm glad you like it". I don't want her to know quite yet that I know how to cook and have become quite good at it over the years. I want to save that as a special surprise for her when the time is right. "And yes, I'm down for doing that today. I've never been to a pottery class before. I've always wanted to though".

"Perfect! I know just the place we can go!" Ali replies excitedly.

A little over an hour and a half later, we step out of a cab and onto a busy street in Brooklyn. Alison seems to be familiar with this area because she's pointing out different places we could eat afterwards.

"This area is so up and coming. I love the vibe of this area. So lively. How do you know about this part of Brooklyn?" I ask Alison.

"I used to live near here. You're right, the vibe here is great. Come on, the pottery place is right here" she says taking my hand and pointing to this very unassuming store front in a tall, brick building. It doesn't really look like much on the outside. Stepping inside, we are greeted immediately by an older man at a front desk in this small room with a few chairs.

"Ali, are you sure this is the place?" I ask her.

"Of course! It's just behind that door over there. We just have to check in first. You're gonna freak when you walk in the room. It's pretty great" she says excitedly.

"You're all set to go. You all are the first ones here. Have fun ladies" says the old man behind the desk.

Wait a second? Did he seriously just wink at Alison? Ew that's gross. He could be her grandpa for God sakes.

Stopping at the door, Alison turns around and says, "Okay now close your eyes. No peaking! I'll lead you inside. I want to make sure I see your reaction".

"Okay, pinkie promise" I say jokingly as I squeeze my eyes shut.

I hear Alison open the door and feel her gently take my hand as she leads me inside.

"Okay, now open" she says eagerly.

I open my eyes and my mouth falls open. The room is gigantic and spacious. The walls are all covered in old brick. There's a beautiful, intricate chandelier hanging from the ceiling and breathtaking framed photographs of NYC are displayed around the room. I begin to walk around the room, taking in as much detail as possible. On one side of the room, there's a wall full of shelves jam packed with various pottery creations, both natural and decorated. On the other side of the room is simple display case with two small bowls placed side by side. Next to it, is a display card that reads, "To you my love, may we remain as timeless and as complimentary as the bowls we made on our first date back in the day. I knew I loved you then and I've only grown to love you even more. May God continue to bless us and may God continue to help us spread joy and love to everyone we teach".

Wiping away tears that began to fall down my cheek, I grab Alison's hand and say, "That's the most beautiful and loving thing I've ever read in my entire life! Who wrote this?"

"That'd be my lovely husband" a sweet voice says behind us.

We turn around to see a sweetly smiling old lady behind us wearing an apron.

"I do believe you already met him. He checked you two in when you arrived" she continued.

"Oh my heavens. That just touched my heart so much. I love it" I said holding my hand over my heart.

"We display that as a reminder for us of how far we've come and how much we love each other. We also hope it serves as a good luck charm for all the couples that come to take classes here. So listen. We only have you two and another couple that just arrived so if I could have you guys take your seats and put on an apron, I'll be with y'all in an moment to start the class" she said with a smile.

Ali and I take our seats and put on the aprons placed on the stools.

"I'm excited. I've never done this before. Plus, the instructor seems great" I say to Ali as I tie the apron around my back.

"Oh yea she seems great. I just love how happy she seems" Ali replies.

Within minutes, the instructor returns and begins the lesson before she sets us loose to start creating our own pottery on the stations in front of each of us. We can make as many pieces as we want.

"What are you going to make?" I ask Alison.

"Ummm... I don't really know. I guess I'll just start and see where creativity takes me" she replies while giggling.

I struggle to get the hang of it at first and ask the instructor for some guidance. She gladly gives me a few tips and then moves on to help the other couple. Even after her help, I still can't seem to get it. It's all just turning out to look like some toddler's art class project. I can't help but laugh and be frustrated at the same time. I mean I'm covered in this stuff and it's even in the floor around me. I've been so concentrated on my creation, I hadn't even looked over to see how Alison was fairing. That's when I look over to see her looking completely at ease, completely in control, and her creation is amazing!

"Uh babe? How the heck are you so clean and why the heck are you so good at this?" I say in awe of her right now. "I mean come on. Look at this hot mess I made and look how beautiful yours is!"

Alison looks up from the vase she was making and starts laughing. "Awww babe you're totally covered in this stuff! You look so cute! Here, lemme help you. Lemme just put this last touch on it".

After she finishes, she picks up her stool and places it across from me so we're sitting face to face.

Extending out her hands, she ever so gently places them over my hands and says, "It's all about the touch. You have to keep your hands relaxed and even". Molding my hands into the perfect shape she continues, "You're too stiff and your hands aren't shaped the same way. That's what is making the bowel so uneven".

The touch of her hand against mine brings a smile to my face as I watch her hands help me form a more evenly shaped piece.

"That's it. Just like that" she says encouragingly.

"Well I have a pretty good teacher" I say as I wink at her, causing her to blush.

I lean in and whisper in her ear, "I like the way you took charge. It's kind of turning me on".

The pink flush on her face turns a darker shade of red as a result of my words. Suddenly, a burst of confidence must have overcome her because she leans in and whispers in my ear, "Oh baby, you ain't seen nothing yet" right before she gives me a quick peck in the cheek. If I could fly over this spinning wheel and take her right here and now, I totally would.

Alison returns to her seat and asks if the instructor could take each of our creations so we could each make one more piece.

"Oh no thank you. I'm fine with just this, but I'd like to continue to watch her make something. She's quite good" I say to the instructor.

"Oh yes she's quite talented in more ways than one" says the instructor as she winks at Alison.

As she walks away, I whisper to Alison, "Okay am I being crazy, or have both of these people winked at you today? And what did the instructor mean by what she just said?"

Taking a deep breath, Ali looks over at me and gives me a guilty smile. "Okay, you finally caught me. I haven't been completely honest with you. You see I've been deceiving you a bit" she says chuckling to herself.

"I'm confused" I say in response.

"Well do you remember how I told you that I used to live near by? You see I kinda left out the part that I used to work here and I helped decorate this place" she says still flashing that guilty smile.

"Oh my God you're such a stinker" I say in complete shock. "No wonder you're so good at this! Oh and that's why they've been winking at you!"

Putting the finishing touches on a small cup, Ali continues, "Yea... I kind of texted them and told them we were coming and to play along for a bit. Oh and one more thing. You see all these photographs displayed all over the place? Well, I took those photographs all over New York".

"You have got to be kidding me! These photographs are beyond incredible! They're such a lovely tribute to New York and show the diversity and beauty all over the city. Oh my God Ali, you're so talented! I'm completely blown away right now. I had no idea that you were hiding such a wonderful gift" I say smiling widely and in complete awe of her.

"Thank you. That really means a lot " she says smiling back at me. "I kind of wanted to share this place with you since you so nicely shared the beach house experience with me. This was like a sanctuary place for me when I first moved to New York and needed a job plus an emotional soft place to land. Photography is a sanctuary for me as well. Jim and Lisa, the owners, were like second parents to me when I greatly needed guidance and when I felt so alone".

"I sense the cat is out of the bag" two voices say behind us.

Jim and Lisa are standing there, arm in arm, smiling at the both of us.

"Yes it is indeed! It's lovely to meet the both of you" I say as I wipe my hands clean on the apron and shake both of their hands.

"If I may be so bold, I must say that you two are absolutely adorable. You both look so happy to be together. You are quite a beautiful couple. And the connection and chemistry between you two is virtually palpable" Lisa says to the both of us.

"We're really happy for you Ali" says Jim as she gently rubs her shoudler.

I turn my attention to Alison and look her in the eyes and with so much admiration and affection in my heart. "You know, you guys are right. We are very happy. There is so much to this girl that I absolutely cherish and there's obviously so much left to learn. I'm really glad we're together and I'm really glad that I got to meet people that have impacted her life in such a positive way".


	19. Blondie

Emily's POV

After the pottery class, Ali and I decided on lunch at a little sandwich shop called Gammie's, just a few blocks away.

Stepping outside onto the street, I slip my hand into Ali's as she guides us toward Gammie's.

There's an extra pep in her step and it's beyond adorable. I'm continually amazed at how effervescent she is even after going through hell and basically cheating death.

We walk a few blocks and chat about the different stores and restaurants we pass along the way. We're just laughing and talking, completely happy to be together. That is until a deafening boom floods my ears.

In that moment, I'm brought right back to a smoldering, sandy desert. The images pour through my mind and I'm no longer on a city sidewalk with Alison. I'm back in that awful place with our vehicle on fire, and my fellow shoulders either dead or unconscious around me after a road side bomb nailed us. I can't help but scream and fall to the ground in a fetal position. I begin to rock myself back and forth and cover my ears as I tightly squeeze my eyes shut.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I scream to myself as complete panic rushes through my veins.

That's when I feel the soothing and familiar arms of my girlfriend envelop me on the sidewalk. She begins to rock with me as she whispers, "Shhh Em it's okay. It's just a car backfiring. You're safe. I've got you. Babe, open your eyes. Look at me" she says as she lifts my chin up.

I open my eyes and see her ocean blue eyes looking at me with love and concern. "That's better. See, you're here with me. You're safe" she says before she kisses my lips. It's like her kisses begin to suck out all of the panic, anxiety, and awful visions that launched their attack on my mind, body, and spirit.

Pulling away, I begin to apologize and say, "I'm sorry. That hasn't happened in a while. I'm so embarrassed".

Taking my hand and lifting me up, Alison replies, "There's nothing to be embarrassed about".

Chuckling, she winks at me and says, "I just seriously hope that's not the scream you make when you're in bed with someone".

Leave it to Ali to say just the right thing to make me feel better and make me laugh at the same time.

"Trust me, it's not" I reply playfully shoving her arm and laughing.

"Excuse me" a male's voice says behind us.

Alison and I turn around and see that it's a police officer standing behind us.

"Oh my gosh! No way!" he says in shock as he begins to pull out his phone.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I was just around the corner and I heard a car backfire and a woman screaming so I came running. I saw you all on the floor and just want to make sure you were okay. And now I see that it's you, the Emily Fields!" he says excitedly.

"Oh that's very kind of you to make sure we're okay. I'm good now. It just startled me" I say red with embarrassment.

"Glad to hear you're okay. So listen, I know you get this all the time, but can I get a picture with you? My girlfriend is an aspiring model and you're her inspiration and role model. I know she'll just die if she knew I met you" he says laughing.

"Oh absolutely! What's your name?" I ask extending my hand.

Shaking my hand excitedly, he replies, "Thank you so so much! I'm Jared. Jared Reign".

We pose and Alison takes the picture. "Well Jared, it was really nice to meet you. Tell your girlfriend to keep trying no matter what. Dreams are worth fighting for. Plus she has you to be there for her every step of the way so she can never really lose at the end of the day" I say smiling and rubbing his shoulder.

Once we part ways Alison says to me, "That was very nice of you. Do you try to be like that with all of your fans?"

"I try. I feel like I need the good karma. Plus I was just your average person not long ago so I don't ever want to lose that aspect of myself" I reply as I take her hand and continue on our way.

A few hours later, we're back at my apartment snuggling on my bed. We're just sitting there in silence, holding each other. A vibrating sound from my phone on my bedside table catches my attention. As soon as I open my phone, my heart drops. It's a text from Hanna saying, "I hope you have prepped her for this" with a link attached. In my heart, I already know what this is about. Even though I didn't spot any today, the paparazzi must have snapped something of us.

"Ali", I say nervously.

Lifting her head off my chest she says, "What's wrong Em"?

"Um... the word is out. They spotted us" I say trying to prepare myself for her response.

"Oh" she says as she puts her head back down.

"Talk to me. What's on your mind" I say encouragingly.

She takes a deep breath and says, "I don't know. I guess I was just enjoying this bubble we were in. Now people know. It's not that I don't want people to know that you're all mine and I'm all yours, but still. I... I guess I'm just nervous about being hounded by the media. We're in a good place too and I don't want anything to ruin that".

"I completely understand what you're saying and you're feelings are absolutely valid. I just want you to know that I'll be here for you at any time if you're having a difficult time with anything. I want us to always feel like we can tell each other anything" I reply kissing the top of her head.

Squeezing my waist a little tighter she replies, "I know. And me too. Honesty and communication is the only way for a relationship to last long term. Is there an article or something that talks about us?"

"Yea, it's a TMZ article. They found the picture of me with the police officer. He posted it on Instagram saying, "Just met EmilyFields. She was unbelievably sweet. It's nice to meet a nice, normal celebrity". Then they go on to post a picture of us holding hands walking into Gammie's. The rest of the article says, "The drought of interesting news about Emily Fields has ended folks! She was spotted hand in hand in Brooklyn with an unknown, attractive,mysterious blonde. The pair were seen dining at Gammie's for lunch where they were reportedly very cozy and appeared to be very into one another. Has the player finally settled down? Who is this unknown blonde companion? Stay tuned for more details".

"Well. That wasn't very nice. But I feel like it could have been worse. What do the comments say?" Alison asks curiously.

"Umm... Awww don't they look so happy?!... That slut is just playing that poor girl...Who the fuck is this chick? Is she even famous?...Both hot, I ship it" I reply reading through the comments.

"Oh. Well. That's a strong reaction from people who don't even know you. Or me for that matter" Ali responds as she trails small circles on my stomach.

"Tell me about it. It's so weird. But I just try and focus on the good hearted people that post positive and supportive things" I reply feeling slightly annoyed by the comments.


	20. Moose

Emily's POV

It was getting to be nightfall, so Alison decided to go home. When she got home, she texted me, "You... me... tomorrow morning bright and early. And I mean early. My place at 6:30 am. Come dressed in the outfit that most reflects you and makes you feel the prettiest... while being comfy.. I have a day planned out for us. Oh and btw, I'll make you breakfast! :)"

Hmmm I wonder what this could be about. I'm intrigued though and it will be more time with Ali, so I'll bite. "I'll be there! Can't wait! ;)" I reply feeling excited. What should I wear? What makes me feel the most like me?

It's 5:30 am and I'm up getting ready. I decided on my favorite pair of dark wash jeans, the softest white shirt I own, my favorite black, leather jacket, and some comfortable, black, ankle boots. I paired it with simple gold earrings and bracelets. As for hair and makeup, I did loose curls and very natural makeup. I guess I'll bring my aviator sunglasses too.

It's now 6:25 and I'm walking up the stairs to Alison's apartment. As I ascend the stairs, I think to myself that today will be the first day I see the inside of her apartment. Everytime we hangout we always meet somewhere or she comes over to my place. I'm excited to see what her place looks like. I don't even know what to expect. I knock on the door and within seconds, she greets me at the door with a big smile on her face. She's wearing ripped boyfriend jeans with a white tee-shirt and a pale blue and pink flannel shirt. Her hair is in a braided half up- half down hairstyle and her makeup is very natural. I don't know what it is about the look, but she's looking really hot right now.

"I love it. This really is so you" she says checking me out from head to toe.

Stepping forward slowly, I tug on the loops of her jeans, pull her in at the waist, and whisper, "How is it that you've already managed to turn me on before 7am? I don't know what it is, but you look so damn good right now".

"It's a gift I suppose" she replies giving me her signature smirk and wink before she wraps her arms around my neck and starts kissing me. Before you know it, we're full on making out in the hallway and it's getting hotter and hotter by the second. Needing air, I pull away and ask "You love that you do this to me don't you?".

"Baby you know I do" she replies seductively. "Come on inside before Moose gets out" she continues nonchalantly.

Stepping inside I ask, "Moose? Is that your dog or something?"

Laughing she replies, "Not exactly. Moose, come here baby".

And with that, I hear a little grunt and little sniffing noises coming from the other room. I can't quite discern the exact source of the noise until I see him come through the door. I couldn't believe my eyes. This super tiny, pink pig comes running out of the dark doorway and over to Alison where she promptly picks him up.

"Oh my God! You have a micropig named Moose?! That has to be the greatest thing I've ever heard in my entire life" I say laughing.

Laughing now, Ali replies, "Yea... what he lacks in size, he makes up for in attitude. Want to hold him? He loves to snuggle".

"Absolutely" I say excitedly as I take him and snuggle him under my neck.

"How'd you come up with his name?" I ask as I give him kisses.

"Oh my goodness he really likes you" Ali says with a big smile. "Actually, I got him recently and told one of the critically ill pediatric patients that I am close with about him. He said I should name him Moose. So that's how he got his name. It's funny and totally fits his personality".

"Awww how sweet!? Wait... so who has taken care of him while you're gone or at my place?" I ask worriedly.

"Mrs. Gardner across the hall. She has a key and will help me out with him when I need it. She absolutely loves him as he adores her" she replies as she heads to the kitchen and plates breakfast for us.

"Mmmmm. Quiche, I absolutely love quiche" I say taking a big bite as we sit down at the dinner table.

Looking around, I continue, "You know, I really like your place too. It has a homey beach house vibe. It suits you".

"Thanks. It's exactly what I was going for. As you know, the beach makes me really happy" she says smiling at me, causing me to reflect on our time together watching the sunset.

"So, I'm sure you're wondering what I have planned for today" Alison says as she walks into the other room.

Replying a little louder so she can hear me, I say, "I am. I'm quite curious actually".

Entering the doorway again, carrying her professional camera and bag, she replies, "Would The Emily Fields like to do a photoshoot around the city today? I have some spots that I think would be great".

"You want to take pictures of me" I ask pointing to myself.

"Um absolutely! It's not everyday that someone who enjoys photography can capture a world class model as their subject" she says with a smile. Walking closer to me, she bends down close to my face and says, "Plus, my subject is kind of really hot and I want to show her just how beautiful she really is without a ton of fancy makeup, clothes, or extravagant settings".

"Well how can a girl refuse that kind of proposition?" I say happily before she gives me a quick peck on the lips and starts to walk towards the kitchen.

Getting up from my seat, I grab her arm and turn her around to face me. "You're not getting away with just a peck" I say seductively before I pull her in for a real kiss.

Finally pulling away Alison replies, "While I do love kissing you...we have places to be!"

"Where to?" I ask as we head for the stairs.

"The roof" Ali replies simply.

I look at her kind of confused yet intrigued and she continues, "You can see the sun rise from the roof. It's a great view and the lighting will be perfect".

"I figure we've shared a sunset together, why not add a sunrise to the list?" Alison adds.

Stepping out onto the rooftop, the coolness of the morning air surprises me. When I arrived at Ali's apartment, it was pitch black. But now the sky is beginning to show signs of life with a flickering of bright color.

"Over here" she gestures. "This is the perfect spot".

At the ledge, I look out over the rooftops of the city and listen to the birds chirp their good morning tune. For once, the city is quiet. The gentle morning breeze brushes across my cheeks and whips through my hair, bringing a smile to my face.

The shutter sound from a camera stirs me from my enchanted state.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful" she says lowering her camera towards her waist.

"You see that... that right there is the real you" she continues never leaving my eyes.

"May I see?" I ask gesturing to her camera.

"No you may not. Not until tonight after I'm all done and put it all together for you" she says playfully slapping away my hand.

"You know you're really hot when you get all bossy and authoritative like this" I say winking at her.

"Keep it in your pants Fields" she says chuckling to herself. "The sun will rise any minute now".

Moments later, the sun peaked it's head over the horizon and the sky promptly greeted it's presence with a flood of pink, orange, and yellow. Alison slipped her hand into mine and interlocked our fingers without saying a word. Between the majesty of the sunrise in front of me and the beauty standing next to me, I couldn't decide what to look at. I decided on the beauty standing next to me, quietly taking in the sun's early morning greeting.

Squeezing her hand a little tighter, I suddenly say, "Thank you".

Looking over at me, she smiles and says, "For what?"

Leaning over, I kiss her head and reply, "For making me feel alive again".


	21. Beauty

Emily's POV

Our next stop for the day is this set of blocks in the Bronx. Street after street, beautiful murals and intricate graffiti tags cover the brick walls. We stop and take pictures in front of my favorites. Alison's playing rap music to help me get in the "mood of a pretty young thug" as she calls it. Only this girl could make me bust out laughing like this. A couple of kids playing in the street approach us and ask us what we are doing. Ali and I explain that we're just having fun taking pictures. This one little boy, probably around ten years old, asks if I want to play basketball with them.

"You're tall" he says. "You can help us win".

Of course I couldn't resist these little cuties so I decide to play along for a bit. I'm having the best time laughing, playing, and being goofy with these kids. I look over on occasion and see Ali standing on the sidelines laughing and snapping a few pictures.

"Alright guys, I should head out. But thanks for letting me play with you guys. I had a lot of fun" I say giving them all high fives.

The same little boy that asked me to play replies, "Hey, before you go, lemme get your number pretty young thang".

I couldn't help but laugh. I bend down to his level and say, "While I'm flattered, you see that beauty over there? I'm with her".

His eyes widened and he says, "Well dang. It was worth a shot though".

"Sorry little man. Your queen will come one day" I say standing up again and waving goodbye.

Next up, we head to Manhattan for a "fragrant surprise" as she describes it. I'm pretty sure we're going to the big, extensive garden with hundreds of types of butterflies. Sure enough, I was right.

"Oh I've never been here before. I've always wanted to though" I say taking her hand and walking inside. This place is seriously beautiful and smells amazing. Ali and I just casually walk around and explore the garden while I occasionally stop to strike a pose.

"Wait. Don't move" Ali says suddenly. "A butterfly is flying close to your face. Maybe it will land on you".

Before she could finish the sentence, a large Monarch butterfly lands on my cheek causing Alison to snap photos left and right.

"What are you? A butterfly whisper?" I say laughing.

"I have many hidden talents" she replies jokingly.

For the rest of the day, Alison takes me to the zoo, the aquarium, a chocolate factory, lunch at a little Italian restaurant, and the waterfront just across the Statue of Liberty. I'm seriously having the best day with her. The thing I'm noticing most of all is just how comfortable I am with her behind the camera. I've never been this relaxed with another photographer. She's made this day so relaxing and effortless with her quick, spunky humor and her perfect timing with capturing moments. I can't wait to see how all of these photos have turned out.

"Ready to head back to my place" Ali asks while taking my hand. "I think I have everything I need".

"Sounds great" I reply happily. We walk towards the subway station to head back to her place. Once at the station, we wait for the subway and I take this moment to share with her how I'm feeling in the moment. "Ali, I just really want to say thank you for today. This was such a fun idea and you've really made me feel even more comfortable with you. And... I don't know. I'm just really happy right now" I say as I begin to blush.

Stepping closer to me, Ali replies smiling, "I'm so happy you had fun today. I did too. It's been awhile since I've stared through the lens of a camera and it felt right to see you on the other end of it".

A huge smile escapes my lips and I feel an intense urge to kiss her, even in front of all of these people waiting for the subway. The moment is just too perfect to pass up, so I give in to my desires and kiss her. Then the all too familiar lashes of light and snapping noises can be heard not too far from us. We brake the kiss just in time to brace ourselves for the onslaught of paparazzi rushing towards us, throwing questions at us left and right. "Emily! Emily! Look over here! Is this your new girlfriend? Can you tell us your name? Can you make it all official for us? How long have you two been together? How did you meet? Is she just another toy for you to play with? Come on, give us the scoop" they yell at us.

I protectively step in front of Ali, shielding her from their onslaught and invasion of privacy. I can feel the anger building inside of me with every flash and every question.

"No comment. Please go away. You got your picture, now go collect your money" I say forcefully. But this only brings them closer to us and I can feel them closing in on us. God where is the subway when you need it? I can feel Ali nervously holding my hand behind me, trying to hide her face from their intrusive cameras. The paparazzi are beginning to be too much to handle and I'm beginning to consider having us run away. I turn my head and see that she's starting to cry while she stands behind shaking in fear. I get ready to tell her to run when all of the sudden, a random young woman and two big guys shield us from the paparazzi.

"Leave, now before I shove that camera down your throat" yells one of the men angrily.

"Yea you heard what he said. Leave! You got your precious picture. Leave these poor women alone. They aren't bothering anyone" yelled the other man as he begins to threateningly walk towards the paparazzi.

This seems to do the trick cause they begin to disperse and leave the subway station.

Turning her focus to us, the young woman says "Are you guys okay? I'm sorry they did that to you. That was just awful".

Both of the men join in and say, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand their rudeness anymore and had to step in".

"I agree. That was uncalled for. You were just minding your own business. They had no right to corner you like that".

"Thanks guys. We really appreciate it. You have no idea how much that meant to us" I say while holding Ali close to me and rubbing her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

The two men say goodbye and the young woman turns her focus to us once more. She takes a deep breath and says, "If you don't mind me saying this before I leave y'all alone, I just think you two are adorable. Emily, I've seen how awful they are to you in the press lately and I think it's just horrible. Promise me that you guys won't let the media get in the way of the success of your relationship. It's very evident that you two are perfect for each other and you seem incredibly happy. Don't ever forget that. And Emily, just know that you have fans out there that wish you nothing but endless success and happiness".

I let go of Alison and give her a huge hug. "Thank you so much. You're so sweet. We promise that we'll always focus on just us and tune out what anyone else thinks about us" I say as I pull Ali close again.

The young woman says goodbye and Alison and I get on the trail in total silence. The ride back to her place and the walk to her apartment is silent as well. Once inside, Alison immediately puts her things down and goes to sit on the couch. In that moment, I feel horrible for her. I can't even imagine what that was like for her. That was one of the worst paparazzi invasions I've ever experienced. I quietly walk towards the couch, sit next to Ali, face her, and wait for her to talk to me.

"Ali, do you want to talk about it?" I ask reaching out for her hands.

"I... I just felt so overwhelmed. One minute, we are completely happy in our own little world, just kissing and minding our own business. The next minute, we're being swarmed by those monsters. God Em that was awful" she says as she begins to cry again. "I just panicked and froze in total fear behind you. Thank God those kind people stepped in" she said as she wiped her tears off her cheeks.

"Baby I know and I'm so sorry. I wanted to be able to protect you, but I failed" I say as I begin to feel tears streaming down my cheeks.

"No no Emily don't say that! You instantly stepped in front and tried to shield me from them. You did your best to get them to go away but there were just too many of them" Ali replies while wiping my tears off my cheeks.

"I just never want you to feel like I can't protect you and come through when you need me the most" I say looking down and feeling completely ashamed.

"Emily please don't talk like that. I don't doubt your ability to be there for me and to protect me. That's never going to change. I know you'll always have my back. That was just the first time I'd experienced that and it really overwhelmed me. I'm sure the next time I'll be able to handle it a little better" she says with a small laugh.

"Here. Let's not talk about this anymore. I don't want to give them any power over us and our happiness. Let's look at the pictures from today" she says as she starts to upload them to her computer.

Once they upload, I scoot closer to Alison on the couch as she begins to flip through the pictures.

"Oh I like that one. Oh that one's hilarious, aww that one's cute" I say as she continues to flip through them.

"You know, you really have an eye for this Ali. You've got real talent" I say as I nudge her shoulder.

Smiling wide she replies, "Thanks Em. You're really easy to photograph. You're a natural in front of the camera. You made my job easy".

Reaching for her hand I say, "The thing that I want to thank you for the most is how you made me feel today. You made me feel special and like I could just be me in front of the camera. I didn't have to portray some character, some theme, whatever. I could just be me. Ali, you brought out the best in me today and I can't thank you enough for that. You made me feel truly beautiful with just the real me showing".

"That makes me so happy to hear" she says smiling sweetly at me. "I just wanted you to see that you are so much more than the expensive clothes and the extravagant photoshoots you do. The natural, everyday you is far more beautiful than I think you know. Sometimes I think you don't realize how beautiful you are not only on the outside, but more importantly on the inside. I wanted to capture those moments so you'd be able to remember them forever. I just hope you never lose that special feeling. And I hope you can see how much you mean to me in just the short amount of time we've been together".

Without saying anything, I pull her in and give her a long, passionate kiss. I hope she can feel how much she means to me. Pulling away for air, I finally say, "Ali I need you in my life. Life is just better with you in it".

A genuine, happy smile forms on her face and she pulls me in again for another kiss.

"I'm going to take a shower. Feel free to post your favorite picture from today and have anything you'd like to eat or drink. And of course you can take a shower later if you'd like. I'm not letting you go tonight. You're stuck with me" she says winking at me as she heads for the other room.

I instantly know which picture I'm going to post. It's my favorite from the day. Once on Instagram, I upload the first picture she took of me watching the sunrise followed by the caption, "Taking in a special moment with the one I hold dear to my heart".


	22. Maya

p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;"Emily's POV/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;"I get out of the shower and put on some of Alison's pajamas. Exiting the bathroom, I instantly see Alison in bed, reading a book while wearing black, bold reading glasses. She looks so sexy with her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head. The whole sexy librarian thing is really doing it for me. I walk over to the bed and begin to climb on top of it, crawling to her as seductively as possible./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;""Keep it in your pants Fields" she says suddenly...her eyes never leaving her book./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;"I continue to crawl towards her and stop myself just inches from her ear. "But baby you look so sexy like this. I can't help myself" I say in a sexy tone before I lightly tug on her ear with my teeth and begin to slowly kiss her cheek. I can tell she's dying inside but trying to stay focused on her book in order to tease me. But the flood of goosebumps all over her body and her quickening breathing are giving her away. In between kisses I tease, "You know you love what you do to me... you love it when you turn me on". I can feel her softening with every word and every kiss. I decide to go in for the kill, so I start to softly kiss and lightly suck on her neck. A small gasp escapes her lips, causing her to melt beneath my touch. She let's me kiss her like this for a few seconds before she gives up the fight, throws her book across the room, forcefully pushes me on my back, and positions herself to straddle my waist./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;""You are such a tease" she says looking me right in the eyes before she leans down and kisses me on the lips. There's something different about this kiss though. Usually when we kiss, it's full of passion. This time, it's nothing but pure lust and I can feel myself wanting more of her. This moment between us is really starting to intensify. Will this be the night that we take that step? Is she ready for this? Am I ready for this? The fact that I'm even questioning if I'm ready to go to that place with another woman just shows you how different I am now that I'm with her. I wouldn't think twice about it before when the girls meant nothing to me. But Ali is a different story. I don't want our first time to be just about having sex. I want it to be perfect. As cheesy as it sounds, I want to make love to this woman. Deciding to end this moment before our desires became too much, I break the kiss and say, "Ali, while I am really enjoying this, I don't want my desires to take over and for us to do something we may not be ready to do. Does that make sense? I know I was the one that initiated this, but I don't know. I just want our first time to be nothing but complete perfection"./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;"Lovingly tucking my hair behind my ear, Ali smiles at me and replies, "Makes perfect sense. I feel the same way. Let's at least cuddle". Ali then rolls off of me and signals for me to come closer./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;"I lay my head on her chest and can hear the aftermath our heated makeout session left on her heart. As the minutes pass, it slowly returns back to it's familiar rhythmic state./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;""Ali, can I tell you something?" I ask curiously./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;""Sure. What's weighing on your mind?" she asks./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; line-height: 18.0pt; background: white;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; color: #555555;""Well a lot of things if I am being completely honest. I feel like I am ready to fully open up about my time as a solider. It's this part of me that I don't ever talk about or address. It's like this giant wound that sometimes feels like it is only being held together by a flimsy band aid. I bet you have a lot of questions for me. I know you've kept them to yourself and have been waiting for me to open up to you on my own terms. So here it goes. I joined the military because I was at a point in my life where I was struggling to find a purpose. Nothing seemed to be going right for me romantically, financially, spiritually, you name it. I thought this would provide some structure and a reason to get up out of bed everyday. I've always been athletic and training was challenging, but nothing I couldn't handle. Right out of the gate, I was a lot better than the other women in training. I don't mean to sound cocky when I say that either. My superiors took notice and started pushing me harder and harder so I became even better than most of the men in training. I became faster, stronger, and smarter in hand-to-hand combat, with various weapons, search and rescue, tactical missions, and anything they threw at me. When it was time be deployed, they sent me to Afghanistan to train even more in a specialized unit for counter terrorism. When I first arrived, there was nothing but a bunch of men and another woman that was new just like me. I tried to keep my head down and mind my own business. I was afraid of establishing relationships with these people and then potentially losing them in combat. The first couple of times we went on missions, I was completely terrified. I of course didn't want to die and I was equally afraid of taking another person's life. Back at training, I thought I would be able to handle it, but when it came time to actually take another person's life, I froze. On that mission, I would have died if it weren't for the other new girl named Maya. Her first kill was to save my life. After that mission, we became inseparable. We started out as friends and partners in combat and it quickly turned into something more. When you're out there, with your life on the line all the time, and you find someone that understands you and literally saved your life, things get serious really fast. Our relationship turned physical and emotions developed quickly outside of a friendship. She was there for me when I finally had to kill someone. He was going to behead a child and I couldn't let that happen. Even though he was an awful person, it still weighed on my soul. Over the following months, we grew closer to the other people on the unit and I became even more specialized with assault rifles and higher level missions. My commanding officer even put me undercover in order to infiltrate a high level terrorist organization. For months, I fed them intelligence and slowly but surely broke down a powerful sector of the overall organization. After that mission, I came back and realized just how much I had missed her in my life. Our deployment was ending soon and I thought about asking Maya to live with me after we got back to the states. We had one more mission as a unit before we could head home and I planned on asking her that night after we got back. The mission was low level and focused more on relief work for the locals in a village about 3 hours from our base. The generals thought it was safe for an ABC News reporter and his crew to follow us for an upcoming piece on the unrest in the Middle East. I remember it was early in the morning and we headed out in our vehicles with the camera crew and the reporter. Everyone was happy and feeling blessed for an easy mission. Dave drove, Mike rode shotgun, Ryan rode on the roof, monitoring for any suspicious activity ahead, and Maya and I sat in the back with the reporter named Chris and his cameraman John. We were about an hour and a half into our into our 3 hour trip when my life changed forever. I was laughing with everyone when all of the sudden I saw a blinding light and heard a loud boom. I struggled to wake up and open my eyes. When I finally did, I realized that I was on the ground outside of the vehicle. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing and bleeding. I was so disoriented and I couldn't fully grasp what had happened and what was going on. That's when something inside me screamed to get up and check on everyone else. I sat up and did my best to stand up but my leg was broken and my body hurt like hell. When I stood up, I saw that the front, right portion of our vehicle was completely blown off and the hood of the driver's side was on fire. I drew my AK-47 and began to assess for danger all around us and further up on the mountainside. Everything was clear, so I ran to the front and saw that Dave was unconscious in the driver's seat. He had a huge piece of metal sticking out of his leg and a large cut on his forehead. He was losing a lot of blood but I thought he could make it. I quickly freed him from the mangled wreckage and pulled him to safety behind the vehicle and out of range from the fire. I bandaged him up to stop the bleeding as much as possible then I ran back to the front side of the vehicle and saw Mike's various body parts all over the ground and still in the passenger's seat. There was no way he had survived that. To my left, about 20 feet away, Ryan's body was on the ground, lifeless, and completely engulfed in flames. There was no way I could save him. That left Chris, John, and Maya. I ran to the back of the vehicle and hopped inside only to find that John had bled out from a large gash in his neck from a piece of metal. He had no pulse and he wasn't breathing. Chris was still alive, miraculously still intact but both of his legs and his arm seemed to be broken. I lifted him up and brought him next to Dave who had finally regained consciousness. He asked for an update on the situation and I told him what I'd discovered so far. I ordered him to radio for help, stay put and keep watch of the mountains for any terrorists, and to keep Chris safe. I had to go back for Maya. As soon as I jumped back in the vehicle, I saw that it was quickly becoming overpowered by flames and thick smoke. I picked up an unconscious Maya and ran towards safety where I proceeded to gently place her on the ground. That's when I saw it. Maya had regained consciousness but a huge hole was blown out of her abdomen. Her intestines were falling out of her abdominal cavity and she was struggling to breathe. Blood was just pouring out of her everywhere, soaking both of our uniforms. I begged for her to stay with me because help was on the way. I began to cry because deep down I knew she was going to die. I just didn't want her to have to die in pain like that. Blood started running out of her mouth and I knew it was only a matter of time. She looked me right in the eyes and squeezed my hand as she mouthed that she loved me. That's when the life faded from her eyes and she went limp in my arms. In that moment, I went numb. I didn't even have time to process or grieve what just happened because all of the sudden, I hear Dave yell to get down as a hail of bullets rained down upon us. Chris took a bullet to the leg and Dave took one to the shoulder. I luckily only had a graze to my arm. All three of us moved to safety behind some large rocks as we assessed the source of the bullets. About 200 yards out to the North, about 10 terrorists were coming towards us from the mountainside. 5 more were less than 100 yards out, headed right for us with huge guns pointed right at us. Dave and I quickly took out 4 of the 5. That's right before Dave took a bullet to his helmet from the 5th, knocking him unconscious behind the rock. It was all up to me to get us out of there alive. Chris had never held a gun before and was paralyzed with fear. I couldn't really blame him for that though. So basically it was 11 v. 1. As I crouched behind the rock, something happened inside of me. I had the moment where it finally clicked. The real soldier came out and I was no longer afraid to take a life. I didn't care if those bastards died. They killed my friends and they killed Maya. In that moment, I felt nothing but anger and determination. I was not going to let them kill Chris or Dave and quite frankly, I sure as hell wasn't planning on dying either. I looked down at my gun and saw that I probably had enough ammo to take them all out if I was careful with each shot. I also had two grenades to use if I needed to. I took a deep breath and heard that the 5th one wasn't far from the rock. I quickly burst up from behind the rock and took him out. One shot to the heart and one shot to the head. 10 more to go. Now crouching behind the burning vehicle, I saw that the final 10 were about 50 yards out. Some taking strategic cover behind rocks and some just blatantly and defiantly standing out in the open. I took this opportunity to shoot off a couple of rounds, taking out 3 of them and simultaneously taking a bullet to the shoulder. Thankfully it was a through and through. It still hurt like hell though. Taking a moment, I looked down and realized I didn't have enough ammo left. That meant I had to use one of the grenades. Even with at broken leg and a bullet to the shoulder, I still pushed on. The adrenaline was what kept me going. Chris was still taking cover behind the rock and Dave was still unconscious. Looking back, I saw that the remaining terrorists had split up and we're forming a circle in order to surround me and corner me. I had to act before they could get to me, so I quickly hurled the grenade to my right towards a few of them. I coupled that with firing off a few rounds towards my left. Between the two, I only took out 2 of them. I had one grenade left and 4 bullets left. I couldn't leave my cover and grab Dave's gun so I had to make due with what I had. The pressure was mounting and I started praying for help to arrive because I began to doubt that I was going to make it out alive./span /p 


	23. Mess

Emily's POV

I took a deep breath and threw the grenade right at two of the terrorists. Before they died, they managed to shoot me again in the same shoulder. At this point, the pain was starting to kick in and I began to bleed even more. But the threat wasn't over, there were still some of them left. I pointed my weapon in their direction, ready to shoot them. My gun had a different plan though and jammed on me. The terrorists just started laughing at me and slowly started walking towards me as I feverishly tried to fix my gun. Now only steps away from me, completely oblivious to Chris and Dave behind the rock, they pointed their guns at me and ordered me to beg for my life and kiss their feet. I of course refused. All I wanted was for a chopper to swoop in and take these guys out or some other vehicles to roll up and save us. But that just didn't seem like it was going to happen. I began to pray and accept the fact that I was going to die because there was nothing left that I could do to save myself. I was too badly injured, out numbered, and out weaponed. I closed my eyes and prepared for them to shoot me when all of the sudden I heard two gun shots. I thought they were for me but I realized that nothing hit me. I opened my eyes again, just in time to see the terrorists falling to the ground, lifeless, with bullets through their head. I was so confused at first until I saw Dave standing behind them, lowering his weapon. He regained consciousness and saved my life just in the nick of time. After I realized what happened, I just completely lost it. I started crying uncontrollably, even when the choppers came and picked us up. I made sure they brought back Maya and the others we had just lost. Once on the stretcher in the helicopter, I lost consciousness from the blood loss and sheer exhaustion from the ordeal. I woke up in the medical unit at the base later that night. They had to perform surgery to remove the bullet and repair some muscles and vessels. The doctors also sedated me because of what I experienced out there. Even with all the medication, I still felt empty inside. I had just lost someone that my life depended on on a regular basis. I lost someone that I was close with and had real romantic feelings for. The future that I saw ahead for us was now completely gone. I cried myself to sleep for many nights after that. Once I was medically stable, my commanding officer came to visit me and told me that I was being relieved of duty and would be awarded by the President for my bravery once I got back to the United States. I guess the story got out about that day and what I did. The media was going nuts over the entire situation and were aching to interview me. I quite frankly didn't give a damn about what the media wanted and just wanted to be left alone. But my commanding officer said that I had to at least do one interview and go to the award ceremony held by the President. To be honest Ali, I was surprised you didn't recognize me from the news based on how plastered the story was a over practically every news station whether I liked it or not. Once the press had enough of me, I returned back to a life of solitude. However this life of solitude was what got me into trouble. I started drinking way too much in order to just numb my mind and my body. I started sleeping around with a lot of women because I hated being alone, especially at night. The nighttime was when the flashbacks and the nightmares were the worst. Over the following months, I developed a real anger problem as well. I also started having panic attacks and problems with large public crowds. My life was a giant mess but I didn't want to do anything about it. Wallowing in my misery was far easier and safer rather than addressing what happened to me and trying to move on in a healthy way. I wasn't working after I came home and my bank account was quickly becoming nonexistent. Then one day, I got a call from a modeling agency to come to LA to take a few photos for them. They had seen me and my story on the news and potentially wanted to sign me as a model for them. I needed the money, so I said yes. I guess they liked what they saw because they signed me and got me a job at a fashion house in Milan. Modeling was nothing that I was ever drawn to as a kid or thought I was even good at. Apparently I was good enough because they signed me. Over the next couple of months, I started getting more and more exposure and higher ups in bigger modeling agencies started calling me. That's when I decided that I needed to get an assistant. That's where Hanna came into the picture. She helped me get control of my future and helped me figure out who I wanted to sign with fulltime. The money was great and it was no longer a worry on my mind. The fame and the perks started getting to my head though. The new found resources only fueled my problems with alcohol and women. As my irresponsible and destructive behaviors increased, my PTSD only skyrocketed. I was out of control and my anger and PTSD began to run my life. That's when the media started focusing on me and highlighting my drunken nights at clubs, my endless stream of women, my angry outbursts, and fights. The things they said about me were all true, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt any less. I went from a national hero to just another ungrateful, privileged celebrity. I lost the real me. This reality put me in a very dark place and I even contemplated suicide. That's when I told Hanna that I needed to go away somewhere and get some help. The media thought it was for alcohol abuse but in reality, I went away to get professional help for my depression and PTSD. I was in treatment for 90 days. I went on some anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications. I also did a lot of talk therapy with a therapist that was a former solider. I felt like he really understood what I was going through and he helped me tremendously. I'm not saying that I'm completely healed from this by any means. You've seen me when I have nightmares and when loud noises send me right back to the battlefield. But one things for sure Ali. Being with you is helping me heal these wounds. I feel so safe and comfortable with you and I'm not afraid to be vulnerable with you. I find myself wanting to get better for myself and for you. I want to be a better woman and do right by you as a partner. I'm incredibly appreciative of your kindess, gentleness, and loyalty. I honestly don't think that I'd be this happy at this stage in my life if it weren't for you. So I know this is a lot to throw on you, but I feel like I wanted to share this part of my life with you. Feel free to take some time to think about what you want to say. I understand it's a lot to process".


	24. Ellen

Emily's POV

I lifted my head off of Alison's chest and looked up at her. She was doing her best to conceal the fact that she had been crying throughout my story. I could see the millions of thoughts running through her mind as she looked down at me. I relaxed my head on her chest again, waiting for her to respond.

Alison took a deep breath and said, "Emily, I'm so deeply sorry that you had to go through something like that. That must have been just awful. I don't know how you get up every single day. I think something like that would just break me. Thank you for opening up to me like that. You're right, I did want to wait till you came to me with your story. I didn't want to push you. I'm sorry you lost all of those people you cared about, especially Maya. She sounded like she was incredibly important to you. Even though I feel awful that she passed away, I'm glad she was there to protect you while you were in danger. I'm sorry you're mourning the future you had planned with her. That can't be easy. I also want to say to you that I'm truly sorry and really ashamed of the way that I behaved when we first started getting to know each other. I instantly clumped you in with my ex. But Emily, I can see even more now that you're nothing like her. You never have and you never will be like her. You realized you needed help and you got the help you needed. You're trying to heal your wounds and I want to help you heal. I want to help bring you into a state of peace and real happiness. I want to take that journey with you. I want you to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything and everything that is bothering you. I want you.. and that means all of you... the good, the bad, and the ugly".

I smile to myself as I trace small circles on her stomach. Her words cause a warm feeling to overcome my heart and spread throughout my body. It makes me really happy to feel this close to her. It feels right to give a part of myself to her and to be vulnerable. She makes me feel safe. The difference between Alison and Maya is that Maya always made me feel physically safe. Alison makes me feel emotionally safe. My relationship with Maya was very different than my relationship with Alison. Maya and I were not on the same page in the relationship. She loved me but I wasn't quite there. I knew that I cared deeply for her, but I wasn't in love with her yet. Ali and I are on the same page with the development of our relationship.

It's been a week since my amazing date with Ali. It's been a week since I told her about my struggles. Today is the day that I will be interviewed by Ellen Degeneres about the lingerie photoshoot and interview I did in Milan a few months ago. The magazine, with me in the cover, comes out tomorrow so I have to do a short promotional tour for it in LA. I invited Alison to join me, Hanna, Aria, and Spencer for the few days I'm in LA. She said yes, and I'm so excited to have her come with me. She'll stay back stage in my dressing room with Aria, Spencer, and Hanna during the interview, then we'll all sneak away to do explore LA in between interviews.

Now I love Ellen and she's always been kind to me, but I know she's going to ask me about my relationship with Alison. I'm coming prepared for that before the interview even starts. Alison is okay with me saying that I am in a relationship, it is serious, and I'm happy. But that's all they get to know. I agree with her completely.

It's less than a minute before Ellen will call me onstage. The girls styled me in a brightly patterned maxi dress with my hair in a long, intricate braid, highheeled wedges, and natural makeup. I loved this look actually. It gave off such a Cali vibe and it was so comfortable.

"Now ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome, the beautiful and the very talented Emily Fields!" said Ellen.

The curtain lifted and I smiled wide and began to wave to the cheering crowd. I walked over to Ellen and gave her a big hug before sitting down in the guest chair.

"Oh you give great hugs" she said warmly.

"Oh my! Well thank you. You know how much I love you" I say reaching out to take her hand.

"So it's so great to see you again. You look very well. And may I say very happy" Ellen continued.

"Yes. Life is truly wonderful right now. I'm very blessed" I replied.

"So tell me about the magazine coming to shelves tomorrow" Ellen continued.

Turning to the audience, I say, "Well this shoot was a little different for me. I don't normally model lingerie so it was a little out of my comfort zone and made me feel a little self conscious if I'm being completely honest. But the photographer was amazing and he made me feel more at ease and comfortable in my own skin".

"I can't imagine you have any body insecurities. I mean look at this cover" Ellen says to the hooting, hollering, and cheering audience while holding up the magazine. "You look absolutely incredible" she continues.

"Thank you. You're too kind. But in all honesty, I'm just like everyone else. Everyone has something that they'd like to change about themselves. So for the interview segment, I talked a lot about my struggles with body acceptance and learning to love myself in general. I think all women can relate to that. I won't give away too much from the article. That's just a little tease for you" I say as I wink at the crowd.

"Understandable. Well while we have you with us, would you like to play a game of who'd you rather?" Ellen asks in a pretty please voice.

"Sure. Let's do it" I say excitedly.

The screen behind me displayed two pictures. One of Kate Middleton and one of Emma Watson.

"Alright Emily, who'd you pick?" asked Ellen.

"While they are both quite lovely, I'd have to go with Kate Middleton" I replied.

For the next couple of rounds, Rihanna, Carrie Underwood, Zoe Saldana, Blake Lively, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, and other ladies flashed across the screen.

"Alright. Last round. So far, you've passed up on all of these women and kept Blake Lively. Andy, go ahead and bring up the last round. Okay here. We have Blake Lively and... this nameless blonde beauty" she says smirking at me.

I smirk right back at her and can feel my face begin to feel warm. It's a cropped out picture from me and Alison holding hands.

"Hmmmm" I say coyly with my hand on my chin. "I think I'm definitely going with the nameless blonde" I say winking and smiling at the crowd.

The crowd erupts with cheering and starts chanting, "Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!".

Ellen gets up from her chair and starts playfully chanting, "Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!".

I gesture for everyone to calm down and Ellen sits back down and says, "Sooo... you know I had to ask. Who is this beauty that's been spotted hand in hand with you? Are you two dare I say an item?"

Laughing to myself I reply, "Yes. I am currently in a relationship. Things are going really well and I'm extremely happy".

"What's her name? What does she do? Where did you guys meet? How long have you been together?" she asks.

"Now ya don't think I was going to make it that easy for you guys now did you?" I say laughing. Turning to the crowd, I continue, "Sorry. That's all I'm giving you guys. Just know that I have never been happier".

"Well we can't blame you there. I'd just like to say that I'm very happy for you. You look like you're really happy and in a good place in your life. May you continue to experience happiness and success. Alright that's it folks. Make sure you pick up Emily on the cover this month and check out the really great article inside" Ellen says.

Turning to me, she gets ups and hugs me as they go to commercial break.

Walking back stage, I make my way to my dressing room to meet up with the girls. I open the door and see Ali is the only one the dressing room. "Hey baby" I say walking towards her with my arms opened wide. "How'd I do?" I ask.

Ali smiles wide and pulls me close for a kiss.

Pulling away, I reply, "So I take it that I did pretty well".

"You were great" Ali replies giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"Do you really mean that?" She asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask slightly confused.

"That you've never been this happy" she says looking me in the eyes with her arms wrapped around my neck.

"I meant every word and then some. It's all because of you Ali" I say pulling her in and kissing her sweetly.

A knock at the door breaks us from our kiss.

"Sorry to interrupt. I had a feeling you might be here. And I just really had to meet you" says Ellen from the doorway.

"Come in, please" I say gesturing her to come in.

Ellen closes the door and says, "I'm sorry. I just had to meet the woman that's made Emily so happy" before extending her hand to Alison.

At a loss for words, Ali fumbles, "Oh my gosh hi! It's so nice to meet you. I love you and your show. I watch it all the time. I'm Alison by the way".

"Alison it's really nice to meet you. I'm just so happy for you guys. I wish you all nothing but the best. And don't worry. I won't spread anything. Emily knows I love her and have nothing but respect for her" she says lovingly.

"Thank you Ellen. It really means a lot to me to have your support" I say with a smile.

Ellen waved goodbye and shut the door behind her.

"Now... where were we" I say coyly pulling Ali in again. I can feel her smile against my kisses.

"Alright bitches let's get out of here" says Hanna busting through the door. "Oh you two need to get a room" she continues when she sees us making out.

"We can't catch a break" I say with my forehead pressed against Ali's.

"Babe it's okay. Let's go get something to eat" she says before giving me another kiss.


	25. Love

Emily's POV

Alison and I have now been dating for 5 months. At this point, we're practically inseparable and she's grown even closer to Aria, Spencer, and Hanna. They all even hang out without me.

Ali and I have been on some amazing dates, but I feel like my favorite time with her is during the little things in life, not the extravagant or well planned out dates.

Over the past few months, we haven't had sex even though we've come close to it a few times. We still haven't said I love you. We're taking things slowly and letting things happen naturally. Thank God the paparazzi have cooled off and aren't really bothering us anymore.

I know this sounds cheesy, but I think about Ali all the time. I still get that giddy feeling when I know that I'm about to see her. Little things remind me of her and she truly drives me wild. I crave her touch. I live to see that beautiful smile on her face. I can't get enough of her when I'm around her and I can honestly say that I've never felt this way about anyone. I've stopped thinking in terms of what is good for me and instead started thinking in terms of what is good for us. I feel like I want to do something special for her to show her how much she means to me. I want her to be able to see what I'm finally ready to tell her.

I pick up my phone and send a group message to Aria, Hanna, and Spencer saying, "Hey guys. So I know Ali is not working tonight so I'm inviting her over. I love you guys, but please don't get any ideas about surprises, coming over, or something like that. It's kind of important. I love y'all! Sorry!"

That should hopefully ensure that we're alone tonight and left completely uninterrupted.

Within seconds, frantic buzzing comes from my phone.

Hanna: EM'S TRYING TO SMASH TONIGHT Y'ALL!

Aria: Yea sure. Of course Em.

Spencer: Oh my God Hanna stop it! It's not that. I bet I know the reason.

Hanna: IT IS TOO! Emily has been itching to get in Ali's pants for months now.

Aria: Then what do you think it is Spence?

Spencer: You're going to tell her that you love her aren't you? I bet $100 that's what it is.

Hanna: Deal. So Em, are you gonna keep us in suspense?

Emily: Well... you each get $50...

Spencer: Ha. Called it.

Hanna: Well I called it too!

Aria: You guys need to shut up. You're missing the point here. Emily's in love with Alison. This is huge.

Emily: Thanks Aria. Yea I really am. I want to tell her tonight and I want to make sure we're alone. Thanks for understanding.

Spencer: Go get your girl Em. Tell us all about it tomorrow.

Hanna: Including the sex part.

Okay. Now that's taken care of, I should probably call Ali.

"Hey babe what's up" says Ali as she picks up the phone.

"Nothing much. I was just wondering if you were free tonight? I have a surprise for you" I say hoping she'll say yes.

"Yea I'm free. Anything specific I should prepare for?" Ali asks.

"Just casual. It's at my place. Come over around 7 and bring anything you want for the night. I'm not letting you go tonight" I say in a husky voice.

"Oh my! Well now I'm intrigued" Ali replies giggling.

"I'll see you later" she continues before she hangs up the phone.

"Bye babe " I say before I hang up.

"I love you" I say aloud to myself. "I hope you love me too".


	26. Heart

Heart:

Emily's POV

It's 6:55 pm and I'm feverishly cooking in the kitchen and cleaning up as best as I can. The table is all set, the wine is ready, the candles are lit, and everything is perfect. I went with dark washed jeans and a black, lacey top to keep it casual. I'm so excited for Ali to get her. That giddy feeling is building in me again. I hope she likes the dinner I made. It's a family recipe.

A familiar knock draws my attention to the door. I excitedly skip towards the door and open it to see Alison at the door dressed in black denim and a burgundy, scalloped top with her hair simply curled.

"Damn Ali" I say without thinking as I check her out from head to toe.

"Am I doing the famous Emily Fields poses correctly?" she says as she playfully spins and poses in the doorway for me.

"Get over here" I say laughing as I grab her waist and pull her in for a long kiss. God I love her lips. I can never get mine to be as soft as hers.

The timer on the oven breaks our moment so I take her hand and lead her inside.

"Oh my God Emily it smells amazing in here!" Alison says taking in all the smells coming from the kitchen. "You did all of this?" she continues gesturing to the food and the romantic kitchen table set up.

"Of course I did because I love y-yummy food and being romantic and stuff like that" I say smiling trying to cover up the fact that I almost said I love you and spoiled my speech I had planned for later.

Alison didn't seem to notice and said, "What did you make? I'm starving".

"Well I hope you like homemade mushroom ravioli with white truffle cream sauce. I also made a little salad with it. Oh and I hope you like tiramisu" I say hoping that she'd be okay with that.

Alison's mouth falls open and says," Holy crap that sounds amazing! I didn't know you could cook like that".

"Well I kinda wanted to make it a surprise for a special date night. Yes I do know how to cook. I love it actually. And I really hope you like this. It's an old family recipe" I say as I plate everything and sit down at the table with her.

Alison seemed to really enjoy everything I made for her. When we were all finished I picked up the plates, set them in the sink, and returned to sitting with her at the table sipping on wine.

"So. I have another surprise for you. It's a little more personal so I hope you're up for it" I say as I stand up from the table and offer her my hand.

Ali looks at my hand, then back up to me with a single raised eyebrow. I can tell she's intrigued but slightly unsure what to expect. Taking my hand, she says, "You've caught my interest so sure. What's the surprise?"

"Well. It kind of involves a blind fold at first. For surprise purposes of course. You game?" I say pulling the silky blindfold from my back pocket.

"Oh now I'm really intrigued. Sure. Have at it" she replies chuckling to herself as she closes her eyes.

I gently blindfold Alison and take her hand. "So you know that one door in my room that you thought was the air conditioning closet? Well. That's not exactly true. I want to show you what's behind the door".

I slowly take her to the door where I open it and guide her inside. Closing the door behind me, I stop and say, "So you remember how I told you the beach house was one of my sanctuary spots? Well this is the other one. I don't let anyone in here. Aria and Spencer have never been in here. Hanna has only been in here briefly because I only agreed to let her in while I was distracted with something. So my point is, this is kind of a big deal. But I want to share this part of me with you. I hope you love it just as much as I do".

I step behind Ali and slowly take off the blindfold and quickly face her so I can see her reaction.

Ali slowly flutters those beautiful blues eyes open and her eyes begin to sparkle in her excitement.

"Oh baby this is absolutely unbelievable!" She gasps as she begins to walk around the studio. Her eyes dart from place to place, looking at all of my favorite paintings on the brick walls, my pain storage, my canvas storage, all of my works in progress, and my main painting station at the window. Once she finally had a grasp on everything around her, she turns to me, takes both of my hands and says, "Emily... I don't even know what to say. This is so beautiful. I love it in here. I love all of your work. I know you said you went to school for art but I had no idea you were this talented! Did you ever try and sell your work or become an artist full-time?"

"Some of this yes. I wasn't very successful though. But a lot of this is from my time since I've been home from war. I have to admit that my work got better after my deployment" I say as I look around at my paintings.

"Do you have a personal favorite?" Ali asks curiously.

"I do actually. It's a more recent one too. It's over there, covered by the cloth on my painting station by the window. You can go look at it. I hope you like it" I say as I gesture her towards the window.

Ali looks at me, then back at the covered painting, and then carefully begins to take off the simple white cloth cloaking the painting.

"I... I..." Ali gasps once she completely unveils the painting.

"It's from the first night I'd ever laid eyes on you" I said smiling.

Tears began to fall down Ali's face and I quickly say, "Oh no! Please don't cry! You're freaked out. You hate it. I'll burn it if you want me to" I blurt out quickly.

Ali turns to me, tears still falling down her cheeks, grabs my face with both of her hands, and says, "Don't you dare destroy this! It's just so beautiful and no one has ever made me into art before". "I love it and I.." she says before she pauses and pulls me in for a kiss while wrapping her arms around my neck.

Needing air, I pull away and say, "I'm so glad you like it. But I have another request. I'd like to paint you now. If you'll let me of course".

Her eyes never leaving mine, she smiles, giggles, and says, "Paint me like one of your French girls".

"You did not just say that" I say teasingly.

"Oh I went there" she says still laughing.

"You're such a goof" I reply giving her a quick peck. Picking up the white cloth, I look Ali up and down and say, "All of this... this has got to go" as I point to her clothes. "I want you in this instead" I say handing it to her.

Ali takes it and says questioningly, "So like completely naked under this"?

Giving her my famous smirk, I reply, "Yup, and I get to position you how I please".

"Alright. I'm game. I'll get ready while you prepare your things" she says as she heads for my bathroom.

I take this opportunity to turn down the lights, light a ton of candles, and move the long, leather ottoman over to the window so the soft moonlight will gently fall upon Ali's flawless skin. I put on an old, soft jazz record, finish grabbing my canvas, brushes, and paint colors. I sit down on my stool and wait for Ali to walk through the door.

The door clicks open from across the room and Ali appears, loosely covered in the curtain. She walks closer to me and my heart begins to skip a million beats. She just looks so beautiful in the candle light with hardly any makeup on and plainly draped in a white.

"Here. Sit" I say gesturing to the ottoman. I position her partially facing the window so the moonlight casts the perfect glow upon her face. I position the cloth to wrap around the bottom of her waist, covering her butt and exposing her bare back. In the front, I gather it up and have her hold it over most of her boobs, only revealing a little side boob.

"Now turn your body like this and turn your face just like this" I say as I move her so she's half facing the window and half facing me with her head slightly tilted down, yet looking at me. I want it to be slightly sexy with her bare back, arms, legs, and a little side boob showing with her long, blonde hair, effortlessly falling down her back.

I step away to marvel the beauty before me and say, "Perfect, absolutely perfect. Are you comfortable?"

"Mhm. Now get to work missy" she says winking at me.

"As you wish" I say as I pick up one of my paint brushes, dip it in some paint, and begin what I hope to be my new favorite creation.

Alison sits there in silence, listening to the music, and occasionally giving me a sultry look that makes me want to throw everything on the floor and have my way with her right then and there. I don't think I've ever been more turned on by Ali like I am right now. The way she's looking at me while occasionally biting her lip, is making it hard to concentrate. But I must say it's coming along nicely. I've never painted anyone like this, much less in this kind of romantic and intimate setting. I'm glad I thought of this to do with her. I'm happy I let her into this part of my life.

I have no idea what time it is, or how long I've been painting her. She seems to be hanging in there though and seems to still be comfortable in that position.

"I'm almost done" I say suddenly to her.

Her eyes flick up to me and she smiles saying, "I can't wait to see it".

I put my painting tools down, step back from my chair, and admire my work. I was right. This is my new favorite painting. I think I captured her perfectly if I do say so myself. Sitting back down, I say, "Okay. I think I'm done".

Ali flies up out of her seat to see the finished product. She stands right next to me and gasps. "Em... this... this is perfection. It's like I'm looking at a picture, not a painting. The lighting, the detail, everything". Spinning me around in my seat to face her, she continues, "It's simply perfection. I love it".

She bends down and kisses me. There's so much love behind the kiss too that it takes me by surprise a bit. I think this is the perfect time to say it.

Standing up to meet her eye to eye, I gently brush her hair behind her ears. My heart is pounding so fast that it's deafening in my ears.

I take a deep breath and say, "When I look at you, I get this feeling that makes me all giddy inside. I feel this sense of happiness and security that brings me nothing but peace. I've stopped thinking in terms of what's good for me and started thinking about what's good for us. So this is me, standing in front of you, giving you my heart... I love you Ali. I need you. My life just makes sense because of you. Day by day, I'm healing again because of you. I've never felt a love like this for anyone and I can't hold it anymore. It's all the little things about you that make me love you. I never want to stop continually falling in love with you. I know we said we'd take things slowly, but I can't keep my love for you a secret anymore. I love you and I hope you love me too".


	27. Unobtainable

Emily's POV

I just told Ali that I love her and as I look into her eyes, I see tears building up. Please God tell me those are happy tears. I remain quiet but my eyes beg her to break this deafening silence. End this silence with just four little words. "I love you too" is all that it'll take for my heart held in the palm of your hands to start beating again.

Wiping away her tears, Ali tucks the cloth underneath her arms, keeping herself clothed as she reaches out and holds my face in her hands. I'm starting to cry now because this is such an emotional and vulnerable moment for me. For us really.

Gently wiping away my tears, Alison says, "Emily... when I look at you, I see a future. I see hope for lasting happiness. You're unbelievably beautiful on the outside. Don't get me wrong, that's a plus, but what I'm drawn to the most is your heart, your loyalty, your unwavering protectiveness, your intelligence, your spunky tendencies, and your ability to be vulnerable with me. You are so much more than just a beautiful model that takes beautiful pictures. Emily, you make me feel safe, loved, and appreciated. No one has ever loved me the way that you love me. For so long now, I've felt like love was unobtainable for me. My heart and my soul were so badly beaten down. I thought that I would never recover. But day by day, you've helped heal those wounds and thoughts of doubt and insecurity. I can't hide my feelings anymore either. Emily, I want you. I need you. Baby I love you too".

And with that, life was breathed back into me again. I'm in love with an incredible woman and she loves me too. The feeling inside me in this moment is indescribable. All I can do is smile and pull her close as our lips crash against one another's. Even through tears of joy falling down our cheeks, we kiss each other like we've never kissed before. Every kiss and every touch electrifies something within me and intensifies my love for her. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I finally know what it feels like to have that good kind of ache in your chest that you only get when you're in love.

Stopping suddenly, Ali pulls away and takes a step back. My lips feel cold and bare now without her. I reach out for her body but she stops me. Instead, she lifts my chin up to have me look her in the eyes. I look at her, slightly confused and desperate to feel her touch once more. Ali seems to pick up on this and flashes me her famous smirk before she reaches for the cloth, unties it, and lets it fall to the floor. My mouth drops open and I'm left utterly speechless. My eyes slowly take in every ounce and every curve of her naked body glowing in the dewy candlelight. Just the sight of Ali standing confident and naked in front of me sets my body on fire.

"Are you just gonna stare at me or are you gonna have your way with me?" Ali says seductively while biting her lip.

And with that, her words snap me out of my trance. I lunge towards her, slipping my hand around the nape of her neck, and forcefully pulling her in for a kiss. Ali encircles her arms around my lower waist and pulls me close to her. Pure, intense lust pours through my veins with each passing kiss. I flick my tongue across her lips, asking for entrance, but Ali only smiles and refuses to let me in. God this woman is such a tease, but I love every bit of it. Deciding to show her who's in charge, I continue to kiss her while I slowly move my hand down her back, eventually grabbing a handful and squeezing her butt. A small gasp of pleasure escapes her lips, giving me enough room to slide my tongue into her mouth. Ali fights me for dominance, but of course I win because she's finally mine and I will have my way with her.

Ali's focus turns to my waist where she starts to lift up by top. Only for a second, I break our kiss to allow her to take my top off, revealing my plum colored, lace bra. Ali smiles widely, clearly pleased with what she sees. I quickly lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist as I walk us over to the table. Once we crash into the table, I switch my focus from her intoxicating lips and begin to trail kisses to her cheek and down towards her neck. Pulling her long hair to the other shoulder, Ali tilts her neck back to give me better access. Soft kisses and light sucking turn into more intense kisses and sucking on her pulsating neck as Alison's audible moans escape her lips. Neither one of us care that I was going to leave a mark. Things were getting quite heated between us. I would fight for dominance, but then Ali would do things like run her hand up the back of my neck and tug on my hair as we kissed. I was quickly becoming putty underneath her touch. Alison's hand drifts down my back, just stopping short of the top of my butt. Still kissing me, she uses one hand to cup my face while she uses the other hand to forcefully pull me closer to her center. I've honestly never been this turned on in my life. I wanted her more than ever before and I could tell she felt the same way.

Pulling away, just inches from my lips, Ali says in a sexy, authoritative tone, "Bed. Now." With one swift motion, I lift her up off the table and carry her to the bedroom. I gently lay her down on the bed and try to climb on top of her.

"Not so fast" she says while stopping me from gaining control. Looking at my jeans, she says, "These have got to go".

Stepping away I reply, "Yes ma'am. You know I love when you get all authoritative on me. Turns me on like crazy" I say as I slip off my jeans, leaving me only with my matching bra and underwear sets on.

"Better" she says as she scoots her way toward the center of the bed, giving me a come get me look. Crawling onto the bed, I straddle my legs over her center. Alison sits up as her hands begin to explore my stomach while she begins to leave a trail of kisses on my chest. Her hands slide their way up my back and hover over my bra where she effortlessly unclamps it and throws it across the room. Not saying a word, Ali hungrily takes one in her mouth and begins to fondle the other. I run my fingers through her hair, admittedly letting out a little moan. I could feel myself getting wet with every kiss and every touch. Alison really knows how to set my body on fire. Ali's attention on my breasts successfully distracted me into the submissive position. But this didn't last long because damnit she was finally mine for the taking.

Tugging on her hair, I guide her head up for a kiss that ends with me tugging in her bottom lip. I felt a small wince of pain overcome her body, but Ali only laughs and says, "Oh I see who is the real boss around here". Pushing her onto her back, I went straight for kissing her neck as I ran my hands up and down her legs.

Pulling me away from her neck so she could look me in the eyes, Ali asks, "Em, are you sure? This will be our first time".

Looking in those beautiful blues of hers, I respond, "Ali, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you. Now shh... relax.. let me make love to you".

Between her long hair falling in all the right places, her beautiful, perky breasts, her exquisite curves, and that lustful look in her eyes, I couldn't help myself. I just had to stop and appreciate it all. Biting my lip, I can't help but say, "Ali... you.. your body... God you're so beautiful".

Smiling, Ali pulls me in for another kiss and catches me by surprise by running her hand down my center and over my underwear. "Mmm baby you're so wet" she says as she continues to rub her hands over my center. My moans are becoming louder and I can feel an orgasm building within me.

I snap out of the spell she put on me and grab her hands and force them above her head. Keeping her hands above her head, I say, "Nice try baby. But I'm gonna be the one to make you cum first" before I begin exploring her body with my hands, kissing and savoring every curve and every ounce of her. Kissing my way back up her body, I focus on the area around her breasts, teasing her, and building up the tension. With every kiss and every caress, I can feel her melting beneath me. Her heavy breathing turns to soft moans and even a whimper when I stop short of finally devouring her breasts.

"Baby please" she whimpers, clearly having enough of the foreplay. Massaging one with one hand and sucking on the other, I can feel Ali arch her back in complete pleasure. Switching focus to the opposite side freed up my dominate hand to run down Ali's hourglass figure and stop at her inner thigh. I can tell she likes where this is headed, because she let out a small gasp and immediately opened her legs wider for me. Deciding not to torture her any longer, I slip one finger between her lips and continue my exploration.

"Damn baby," I say feeling just how wet I was making her.

"I can't help it, you're really turning me on" she replies through heavy breaths.

I return to kissing her soft lips before I slowly kiss my way down her neck, between her breasts, down her stomach, and the top of her bikini line. I could feel her body tensing with anticipation. Looking up, I saw her staring back at me, breathing hard, and ready for me to take her for my pleasing.

I start with one, long, slow lick... savoring every last bit of her. God she tastes amazing. I always thought she would taste amazing, but I never thought she'd taste this good. I can tell she likes this by the way her lower back just lifted off the bed while she grabbed the back of my head, pushing my face against her for deeper action.

Subsequent licks are long and sensual... flattening my tongue for maximum effect. Ali's moans are getting louder so I throw her legs above my shoulders and really go at it, picking up the pace and changing each motion of my tongue. The combination of long licks, flicks, circles, and sucking is really getting Ali going. I can feel her squirming beneath me and hear her moans deepening. I turn my focus to her clit, making crazy eight motions with my tongue, and leaving space to insert two fingers inside her... slow at first, then quickening and adding another finger.

Ali is soaked at this point and I lap up every bit of her. Ecstasy has completely taken over her and I have her wrapped around my finger. Between the repeated, "Fuck, Em" and the ever increasing "Oh yes", I knew I was getting closer to pushing her to the point of no return.

I plunge my fingers in and out faster and faster and suck harder on her clit. With one final huge arch of her back, Ali's orgasm ripples through her body as she tightens her legs around me as I vigorously lap up the seemingly endless waves coming from her. Ali finally goes limp beneath me.

I slowly crawl on top of her as she catches her breath. "Baby you're amazing," she says in between breaths. I smile knowing that I just made this beautiful woman cum hard, and I do mean hard. I lean in and kiss her and I can feel her suddenly begin to smile.

Pulling away, I see she is grinning from ear to ear, as she suddenly grabs my hand. Taking each finger into her mouth, she sucks off her juices and begins to moan as she looks me in the eyes. I about lose my damn mind at the sight of her doing this.

Ali gives me a quick kiss and rolls over on top of me, clearly ready to take the lead.

Now on top, Ali kisses me hard and pulls me up to a sitting position as she starts grinding on me. Pulling both of my hands to her breasts, she guides me to grope them, massage them... whatever I damn well please. Still kissing me, she forces her tongue into my mouth as a show of dominance. But I wasn't going to give in that easily. The intertwined dance we were playing with our tongues eventually ends in a win for Ali. I lose my breath when she starts massaging my breasts, pulling at them hard. Now pulling at the hair at the nape of my neck, Ali breaks our kiss and tugs at my bottom lip, biting it with the perfect amount of pain and pleasure. Payback I assume. I had no idea Ali would be so dominant in the sheets but I can't deny my love for it. It was turning me on to the point where I was filled with a tingling sensation and I craved for more of her. Alison was clearly feeding off of my contentment with submission. Forcefully pushing me onto my back, Ali wastes no time in diving straight for my exposed breasts. She pulls them into her mouth with such force, I couldn't help the gasp and moan I let out. I run my fingers through her hair as she hungrily sucks, kisses, licks, and tugs on them. The sensation was indescribable and I could feel myself getting really wet. I needed something to hold onto to I chose to run my hands up and down her back. Moaning and admittedly scratching up her back, I say in the sexiest voice possible, "Oh fuck Ali.. That feels so good".

Ali looks up at me, winks, and says, "Oh you think this feels good. Just wait," before she crawls further down the bed and forces my legs wide open. Without another word, Ali rips off my underwear and dives right for what she's been after all along. She waists no time with foreplay. To be honest, she doesn't have to because I'm already so turned on and ready for her to have all of me. Ali isn't slow or gentle with the movements of her tongue. She's deep, forceful, and hungry. Her lips feel so soft as she sucks hard on my clit and laps up the effects of her sexy and demanding tongue. I can feel the pleasure rising and my body begin to feel tense. Ali senses that I'm about to come because she lifts my legs above her shoulders and buries her face in me, ever quickening the pace of her onslaught of licking and sucking. To send me over the edge, she reaches around with one hand and starts rubbing my clit. All the different sensations were building up to a full body orgasm at any moment. Ali's deep moans against me are what sends me over the top, causing me to yell her name in total pleasure while my whole body quakes beneath her as she continues to lap up every drop as orgasm after orgasm flows through me. Finally my body goes still and I feel like I can't see straight. Only in the best way possible of course. "Baby you taste amazing. You are amazing" Ali says as she crawls on top of me, giving me a long, slow kiss.

Still catching my breath, I reply, "I'm pretty sure you're the amazing one. That... was just... incredible".

Ali grins and rolls off of me and onto her back next to me, still catching her breath. Feeling my usual need to cuddle with Alison, I roll over and snuggle up on her chest, resting my head under her neck. I close my eyes and listen to her heart beat transition from fast and excited to slow and relaxed.

Lifting my head up, I look up at Alison and smile. Smiling down at me, Alison says, "What's that look for?"

"Nothing. I'm just really happy right now. Not to mention completely in love with you" I reply while leaning in to kiss her.

Breaking the tender kiss, Ali replies, "Me too babe. I love you too".

You see, sex with Alison just now was so different than anything else I'd ever experienced. It wasn't just meaningless sex. There was actually love involved. I wasn't just going through the motions, I was making love to her. It was intimate and it was purposeful. I loved her wholeheartedly and she felt like home to me. Alison and I have a crazy connection between us, almost palpable really. I truly wanted to give myself to her and in return wanted every bit of her. There were no strings, no expectations, no ultimatums. Just pure love and undeniable attraction and chemistry. When I'm with Ali, nothing else in the world matters. I think about nothing else. I think about no one else. All of my heart belongs to Alison. I'm glad we waited for the right moment. I'm glad we waited till we were both in love with each other. That's probably why the sex was so amazing too.

Silently lying there with her, Ali begins to run her fingers through the base of my hair, just the way she knows I like it. As I rest on Ali's chest, skin to skin, with our bodies tangled together, I think about how these feelings fill my heart to a level of happiness I'd yet to reach in my life. I hope to continue loving her for many years to come. I don't know what I'd do without her in my life.


	28. Unreal

Emily's POV

Alison and I fell asleep entangled together underneath the sheets after making love for the first time last night. Last night was perfect. I was vulnerable and it totally paid off. To feel love and know that I am loved is something truly remarkable.

The rays of the morning sun gently wake me from my pleasant slumber. I flutter my eyes open, just enough to adjust to the brightness. Memories from last night flood my mind and a generalized feeling of warmth overcomes me. An instantaneous smile appears as I roll over to see my great love peacefully sleeping next to me. God I love this woman. I can't imagine waking up to anyone else. This just feels right.

I gently lift a strand of hair covering her face and tuck it behind her ear before leaning in and kissing her tenderly on the lips. Alison suddenly takes a deep breath in and stirs in her sleep, showing signs of waking up from my insatiable need to kiss her lips.

"Good morning my love" I say kissing her forehead lightly.

Ali's eyes flutter open and she smiles at me. "Morning babe", she replies leaning in and kissing me.

"Did I happen to mention that I love you?"she continues playfully smirking at me.

"Hmm... no I don't think I remember. I'm gonna need to hear it again" I say coyly.

Ali smiles and pulls me on top of her. In between kisses, Ali replies, "I... love... you".

Pulling away I whisper in her ear, "I love you too" before I begin trailing kisses down her neck, seeing the remnants of last night on her neck.

"Damn baby I'm sorry about that" I say hoping she won't be too mad.

"It's okay. I'll just get you back. Plus I like knowing that I'm all yours" she replies chuckling.

"You better get used to it" I reply. Continuing to kiss her down her chest and stopping at her stomach, I say, "Cause I'm not letting you go".

I continue exploring her body, running my hands over her hourglass figure and I stop at the tattoo on her ribcage.

"I forgot to ask you about this last night" I say gently touching her tattoo. I begin tracing the outline of it and ask, "What is this? It's pretty. Honestly, I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to get one, but I've gotta say, I like it".

"Oh that. Yea I got it about a year ago. You're gonna laugh at me when I tell you the meaning behind it" she says blushing.

"No Ali. I promise I won't" I reply holding her hands in mine, eagerly waiting for her to tell me.

Taking a deep breath Alison says, "Well I kind of got it as a love letter to what I like to call my future person. It's an incomplete double infinity. When I'm sure that I've met my person, that one person I will marry and spend the rest of my life with, I'll have a tattoo artist finish out the symbol meaning that I'll have this love forever. We'll be forever connected by our love for one another and no boundary of time could ever separate us".

Her words bring a smile to my face. I can't help but hope that I'll be that person for her. I lean in and kiss her passionately. "That... was absolutely beautiful" I say breaking our kiss before returning to kissing her velvety soft lips. I can feel myself wanting more, but before we could really heat things up, Alison's phone rings.

"Ignore it" I say in between kisses.

Alison sits up and reaches for her phone on the nightstand. "Baby I wish I could. That's my charge nurse calling me. I have to answer" she says pouting her lip.

"Hello?" she says while I continue kissing her neck.

Alison squirms underneath my touch and playfully smacks my hands away from attempting to play with her breasts.

"Oh my God okay. I'll be in as soon as I can. No problem. You guys need me so I'll be there" she continues with a serious tone.

Alison hangs up the phone and looks at me seriously. "Em I have to go. The emergency room is in code black. They're calling in all doctors and nurses. There was some sort of major subway crash with dozens dead and even more injured".

"Oh my God that's awful" I reply. Inside though, I couldn't help but feel selfish and wish she could stay with me all day.

Alison looks at me and can clearly tell what I'm thinking. "I know Em. I wish I could stay here all day with you too. But people need me. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can" she says while she gets dressed.

Now fully dressed, Ali walks over to me, stopping inches from my lips and says, "Thank you for last night. I'll be thinking about you today...And your body... And all the things I'm going to do to you... I'll be back. I promise. I love you Emily".

God I'm being so selfish. I mean for Pete sake, I have this woman in my life that drops everything to go save lives. How amazingly selfless and sexy is that?

"I like the sound of that. I love you too Alison. Call me if you need me to bring you or your friends anything" I reply before closing the space between us and kissing her.

Alison just left and this place feels empty without her. It doesn't feel like a home anymore. I take a shower and make myself some breakfast before I text the girls, "You guys free to come over?"

Aria: I'll be there in 30.

Spencer: Me too.

Hanna: Race ya there bitches!

I seriously have the best friends. They drop everything for me. Almost to the minute, Aria, Spencer, and Hanna arrive at my apartment about 30 minutes later.

"Spill the details Em..don't leave anything sex related out. I want it all" says Hanna instantly as I open my apartment door.

"Well hello to you too Hanna" I say laughing and gesturing them to come in.

They all immediately head for the living room and sit down eagerly awaiting the details from last night.

"So... tell us everything. Don't leave anything out" says Aria with a giddy smile.

Sitting down next to Spencer I say, "So I made Alison dinner last night and set up a romantic table setting".

"What did you make?" asks Spencer.

"Mushroom ravioli with a truffle cream sauce, a salad, and tiramisu" I say nonchalantly.

"Yup, Ali should have known right then and there that y'all were gonna fuck. That's I'm gonna fuck your brains out tonight kind of food" says Hanna rather bluntly.

"Hanna, at least try and have some class" replies Spencer in a scolding tone of voice.

"Hey I'm just saying. And hey, why don't you ever cook like that for us?" Hanna continues in a jealous tone.

"Because I'm not in love with any of you and I'm not trying to have sex with any of you" I reply laughing.

"Hey I take offense to that. I'm fuckable" Aria replies while crossing her arms.

"You seriously wouldn't smash with any of us?" Hanna asks sounding shocked.

"No! God no! You're like my sisters" I reply looking at them like they're crazy.

"You guys. We're getting off topic here. So I'm assuming dinner went well. What happened next?" Spencer asks curiously.

"Well I kinda blindfolded her and led her to my studio" I say nervously fumbling with my fingers. I shoot Hanna a look hoping she won't say that she knows about the studio because I know Aria and Spencer are gonna be pissed. Thankfully she throws me a look saying she'll keep her mouth shut.

"Your what?" Spencer replies with a slightly raised voice.

"I'm confused" Aria adds.

"So you know that door in my room that's always locked? Well. That leads to my art studio" I say nervously.

Aria replies, "Why have we never been aloud in it?"

"Yea Em. What the fuck?" Spencer says sounding even more ticked.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's kind of always been my sanctuary. I wanted to share it with her. And being with Alison has made me realize that I need to let y'all into my heart too. So. Do you guys want to see it?" I ask hoping that will make up for my secrecy.

They all agree and so I take them to the studio.

"Holy crap" Aria exclaims as she enters the studio.

"Wow Emily. I knew you went to school for art but I always thought you just studied it. I had no idea you're an artist" Spencer says as she gazes in awe of my work.

"Emily. These are really beautiful. You're so talented" Hanna says acting like she's never seen my work before.

"Oh. My. God. You painted her." Aria says suddenly and rather loudly while drawing Hanna and Spencer's attention.

"It's stunning" Spencer says in awe.

"Dayummm Em you got her to pose semi nude for you? You sly dog!" Hanna says nudging my arm.

"I think it's beautiful. Tastefully sexy" Aria adds while tilting her head and admiring my painting.

"So I'm guessing based on these candles and the pose you put her in... things got... shall we say... steamy?" Spencer says raising her eyebrows and turning her attention towards me.

Feeling kind of embarrassed, I reply, "Well when I finished, I showed it to her and she loved it. And so it felt like the right moment to tell her how I felt".

"And..." Aria says encouragingly.

"I don't know you guys. I just feel like I've been missing something in my life and I feel like I've found it with Ali. She's making me a better person and she is helping me heal old wounds. I have never felt this feeling for another woman in my entire life. My life makes sense because of her. I need her and well... it's kind of unreal how much I love her" I exclaim not really knowing how to fully explain it all to them.

"I can really tell that she's changed you for the better" Spencer says rubbing my arm.

"So when you said you love her, how'd she react?" Hanna asks curiously.

"Well she cried. I cried too. It felt like I couldn't breathe until she finally said she loved me too. And well... after that.. you can guess what happened next" I answer as I feel a warm flush overcome my cheeks.

"God I just love love! Y'all are seriously so cute and so perfect for each other. I'm so happy for you guys" Aria says excitedly.

"Yea, yea, yea Aria. So... you can't just leave it at that. You have to give us more details Em" Hanna says poking me.

"I'm not gonna give you exact details cause that's private. But I will say that it was by far the best sex of my life. It's so cheesy, but it was really more like making love. It wasn't just casual sex. It meant something ya know?"

"Dayumm! Ali's a queen in the sheets! Ya know, come to think of it, she is kinda quiet. You know the quiet ones are always kinky or really good in bed" Hanna replies as if she just had a light bulb moment.

"Waking up to her was incredible too. My apartment finally felt like a home. You guys I can't imagine waking up to anyone else but her. At least we got to spend a little time together before she had to leave" I say starting to feel bummed out again.

"Lemme guess. The massive subway crash" Spencer replies.

"Yup. I know I shouldn't be so selfish, but I just wanted to lay in bed with her all day. But people need her and her job is very important so I can wait" I reply with a half smile.

"Hun. It's totally normal to be bummed out. You're in love. You're intoxicated by her. You want to spend all your time with her. But you're right. People really need her right now. Maybe you could go see her later and bring her something to help her get through her shift" Spencer suggests trying to make me feel better.

"Yea that's a good idea. Maybe I'll buy coffee and a ton of subs for all the nurses on the unit" I say while contemplating the idea.


	29. Surprise

Alison's POV

It's hour 7 of my 12 hour shift and I'm hitting a wall. I've had a crazy night in the ER and I could really use a little pick me up. I've finished charting and rounding on my patients so I'm finally just taking a moment to sit and breathe at my computer. My mind begins to wander to the thought of a hot bubbly shower and my warm bed. Bed... Oh that reminds me of my first time with Emily. The taste of her lips, her gentle and passionate touch... And her tongue...My God her tongue. Great. Now I'm horny.

I pick up my phone and text her. I miss her. She's been in Thailand for a week and she's coming home tomorrow. We've Skyped a lot but it's not the same as being in her arms at night or seeing that beautiful smile in person.

Me: I can't stop thinking about your body and what you do to me.

Emily: Do I detect a horny Alison?

Me: You have no idea.

Emily: I think I can help with that.

"Alison what are you smiling at?" asks Grace, my closest friend at work. She's also the only one at work that seems to notice that I'm dating a celebrity. "Is it Emily?" she asks while wheeling herself over to me in her desk chair.

"Maybe" I say coyly.

"Oh my God were you two sexting?" she says giggling.

"SHHH! Good God! Not so loud!" I say giggling too.

"So you're not denying it" she says laughing even louder now.

"I can't help it. It's been a little over a week and... Grace come on... you know how beautiful she is. Can you blame me?" I say feeling a heavy blush overcome my cheeks.

"Yea your damn hickey is finally healed. And hell no! I don't blame you. She's hot. You're one lucky girl. I'm just happy that you're so happy" she says smiling as she reaches out to hold my hand.

"Thanks friend. I'm ridiculously happy. I still can't believe it sometimes" I say thinking about Emily again.

"Well we better get back to work. Joe is watching us. You know how much of a douche he is about all work and no fun" Grace says as she wheels herself back to her computer.

I turn back to my computer and read up on a new admission when all of the sudden I feel my phone vibrate. There's a new text from Emily. There's also an attachment. Please be a nude. Please be a nude.

I open it up and about lose my damn mind. It's a photo of me sitting at my computer. I spin around as fast as I can and see Emily standing behind me with a sexy smirk on her face.

I fly out of my chair and crash into her outstretched arms. I pull away from her, grab her face, and kiss her right in the middle of the nurses station. I didn't give a damn who saw me. I was just beyond excited to see her.

"Emily you're home early!" I say excitedly while hugging her again. It felt so good to be wrapped up in her arms again.

"Yup! I wanted to surprise you. I know night shifts can be hard for you" she replies gazing at me lovingly. "Plus, I just couldn't stand being away from you anymore. I had to see you" she says kissing me again.

"I'm seriously the luckiest girl on the planet. I love you" I reply while hugging her again.

"Not as much as I love you" Emily whispers in my ear.

"Joe, I'm taking my break now. Grace will cover my patients while I'm gone" I say as I wink at Grace who is smirking at me and Emily.

Grace stands up from her computer and replies, "Yea I've got it covered Joe. She's going to be busy on her break".

Joe nods in agreement and Grace leans in and whispers in my ear, "Go get your freak on girl".

"You're damn right I will" I reply as I grab Emily's hands and lead her down the hallway.

"Where are we going" Emily asks chuckling to herself.

"You'll see" I reply ambiguously.

"What are we going to do" Emily continues.

I stop dead at the closed door at the end of the long hallway and turn around to face Emily. "We're going to have sex. It's been over a week since I've tasted you and I need all of you right here, right now" I say in the sexiest voice I can muster.

Emily raises her eyebrows and replies, "Well you know I can't refuse you when you get all bossy like this".

I step closer the Emily and whisper in her ear, "Then be a good girl and get in here" before I grab her hand and pull her into the room.

Once inside, I lock the door behind us and push her towards the bed. I knew we could come here because this is where doctors come to nap during long shifts. Now at the edge of the bed, I quickly take off my top and reach to do the same for Emily's. I forcefully push her down on the bed and climb on top of her, hungrily kissing her lips and moving towards her neck. Emily's moans in reaction to my touch are really starting to turn me on and encourage me to continue. I reach down in between her skirt, causing Emily to moan even louder as I quickly realize that she's not wearing any underwear.

"Was this another surprise just for me" I ask as I move to rubbing her clit.

Emily whimpers at this sudden change in focus and can't seem to respond to me other than by shaking her head yes. I'll never get over how much I love doing this to her. I make my way down the bed on a journey to finally taste what I've been craving for over a week. I can feel her body tense with anticipation when all of the sudden I hear banging on the door behind me.

"Ali I know you're really busy, but we just got 6 new gun shot victims from a gang related shootout. We need all hands on deck right now. Come on Ali open up!" yells Grace from the other side of the door.

"Son of a bitch are you kidding me?" I say angrily as I crawl off of Emily and quickly redress myself.

Turning back to Emily, I bend down to her level and say, "Emily, I am so sorry. I have to go" before I give her a quick kiss and run out the door.

I sprint down the hallway and quickly find Grace and two other coworkers frantically working on a boy that appeared to be no more than 10 years old with 4 bullet holes in his arm and chest.

"Where do you need me?" I ask Grace.

"Start the IV now. He's in hypovolemic shock. He's gonna crash any minute" Grace orders.

I grab the IV bag and kit and quickly find a vein to place it. Luckily the vein holds and I get the fluids started. Suddenly, the all too familiar alarm of the heart monitor goes off and I see the patient is coding.

Emily's POV

I was really starting to enjoy Alison's control over my body when all of the sudden, she was pulled away to go help her fellow nurses. I quickly redresse myself and follow Alison down the hall. I wasn't going to miss seeing her in action.

I turn the corner just in time to see her frantically and forcefully starting chest compressions on a little boy. "Get me the crash cart now" she yells as the other nurses hurriedly work around her.

"He's in PEA, start the epi" Alison orders as she looks at the monitor, completely calm and in control of the situation. A doctor comes by and yells, "Ali you got this for now? More help is coming".

Continuing compressions, Alison replies, "I've got Grace, Lisa, and Ryan. We're good. We've run codes together before".

As I stand here and watch Alison, I can't help but be in complete amazement of her focus, determination, skill, and confidence that she can handle anything. I mean the doctor is comfortable with leaving 4 nurses to save this little boy's life. They must be like the dream team or something.

They've been working on this boy for a more than a few minutes now, pushing various medications, continuing compressions, and even shocking his poor, little, lifeless body a few times.

"Come on damnit don't die on me" Alison yells watching the heart monitor and continuing compressions. Finally, the alarm stops and all 4 of them take a huge sigh of relief. They all look visibly exhausted.

"Normal rhythm. Vital signs stabilizing" Grace says aloud.

"Alright. Let's wheel him to OR 2" Ryan says as they all begin to wheel the little boy down the hall.

"No Ali you stay. We got this. Catch your breath. You just did compressions for 8 minutes straight. We're supposed to switch off every 2. Plus you're soaked with blood" Grace says halting Alison in her tracks.

Alison nods her head and looks down at her blood soaked scrubs. Her arms are covered in the little boy's blood and she looks exhausted. That entire experience must have been equally emotionally and physically draining for her. I see her just standing there, seemingly in her own world, so I slowly walk over to her.

"Ali?" I say quietly, now only steps from her. She snaps out of her train of thought and looks at me with a surprised look on her face.

"Oh. You're still here... you saw all of that didn't you?" she asks.

"I saw every second of it. Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" I say as I look her in the eyes, wanting to hold her in that moment yet not really wanting all that blood on me.

"Just don't touch me" she laughs to herself. "I don't want to get this all over you" she continues as she looks down at her soaked arms and scrubs.

"Okay at least let me go with you to get cleaned up" I reply.

Alison nods and begins to walk towards another hallway.

She stops at a door with a keypad over the doorhandle.

"8452" she says gesturing me to open the door.

Once inside, she silently walks straight to the sink and begins to scrub her skin clean. Now free of blood, Ali walks to her locker and takes off her clothes, carefully folding them into a neat pile, assuring not to get blood on the chair. Still in her own trance, Alison silently pulls out new scrubs from her locker and dresses herself.

I'm beginning to worry about her. This case must have really impacted her emotionally. "Ali, talk to me. I can see this is really getting to you" I say reaching out for her hands.

And with that, Alison looks up at me and her usually crystal clear blue eyes are now all watery and filled with tears. "Oh Ali" I say as I hold her tightly to my chest and feel tears begin to build up and cloud my own vision. I feel her body finally relax in my arms as she begins to sob.

I do my best to console her and comfort her as she cries for a few minutes.

"Ali I can't even imagine what that was like for you. But I'm so proud of you. You handled the situation with such confidence in yourself and you knew exactly what to do. It was actually kinda hot to see you in action" I say trying to make her laugh.

Thankfully, Alison chuckles as she starts to pull away from me and wipes her tears off of her cheeks.

"I see you're still a little horny from before" Ali says while continuing to laugh.

"I mean can you blame me? My smoking hot girlfriend is running a stressful situation like a boss and I get to watch it all happen before my eyes" I say laughing with her.

"No seriously though. Tell me what you're thinking and feeling" I say encouragingly.

"It's just one of those cases that gets you. It's all so senseless. I mean for God sakes he's probably 10 and his life will be changed forever if he survives this" Alison says as she continues to compose herself.

"I know. It's just flat out awful" I say as I reach out and gently rub her shoulder. "But I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too. You were phenomenal out there".

"Thank you Emily. It means a lot to me that you were there to witness what I do as a nurse. I love you Em" she says before she kisses me.

Breaking our kiss I reply, "I love you too Ali. I'll be home if you want to come over after work. If not, I totally understand if you just want to go back to your place and dive head first into your bed".

"I think I'm just going to head home after this. It's been a long shift. But thank you for offering. I'll call you when I'm back at my place" Alison says smiling.

Alison's POV

I'm finally able to go home and I feel like I'm dragging my body up the stairs like some sort of zombie. As soon as I open the front door, Moose happily greets me with little squeals and snorts.

"Oh baby come here" I say as I pick him up and give him kisses. "I know. Mommy has been gone for far too long!"

I gently put him down and head straight for the shower to wash the night shift off of me. Within ten minutes, I'm out of the shower and instantly in comfortable pajamas. Even though I'm beyond exhausted, I have to stay awake for my weekly Skype date with my parents Ken and Jessica. Still drying my wet hair, I log on and initiate a Skype session. I pick up Moose to snuggle with him. He always hates it when I'm gone for so long and our neighbor can't check in on him.

"Hi mom! Hi dad!" I say excitedly when I see their faces on the screen.

"Hey pumpkin" they say happily in unison.

"Oh Ali you look so tired. Bad shift?" my mom asks worriedly.

"Oh mom you have no idea. This little boy was probably 10 and he had 4 gun shot wounds. He coded but we brought him back. It was super stressful and emotionally draining" I reply thinking back to the entire situation.

"I'm sure you did everything you could Ali. You're an amazing nurse" my dad says trying to comfort me.

"May I be blunt with you Ali?" asks my mom.

"Um sure... What's up?" I ask feeling unsure about what was about to come out of her mouth.

"You're eyes... they're different...they're... happy. Are you seeing someone?" My mom says smirking at me.

I wasn't expecting her to ask me about this. Yet again she is my mom and she knows me better than most. I have kept my relationship with Emily a secret because I didn't want them to know about her till I was for sure this was a real deal with Emily. I wanted to be able to tell them that I was in love and that this wasn't just some fling. I was actually going to tell them during this Skype session.

A heavy, and I mean heavy blush brightens my cheeks and my dad says, "Oh my! I do believe you're onto something Jessica".

"Peanut, tell us about her. I want to hear about the woman that's made you seem so happy" my dad says encouragingly.

I take a deep breath and say, "Well... her name is Emily. She went to school for art and her work is absolutely breathtaking. She's ex military, discharged honorably. Now she's a world renowned model. She's had a bit of a troubled past but she sought out professional help and is doing much better now. She puts in honest effort to try and improve herself as an individual, to heal old wounds, and to be a better person for our relationship and for me. She loves to cook, she's adventurous, silly, extremely protective, open, honest, communicative, and quite beautiful. We've been dating for about 5-6 months now. I haven't told you about her before now because I wanted to make sure this wasn't just some fling. I wanted to be in love with her before I introduced her to you guys. I hope you can understand that".

My mom smiles widely and says, "Oh Alison I'm thrilled that you're in love. I've missed this light in your eyes for a while now. I feel like I can speak for your father when I say that I'm happy someone is there to brighten your life, fill you with love and joy, and to protect you as a companion and partner should".

"Do you think we could chat with her over Skype sometime soon?" my father asks clearly hoping I'll say yes.

"Of course! I'll just tell her about it and check her schedule. It'll hopefully be sometime soon. I wish you could meet her. I know you guys would love her" I say feeling bummed that our situation is what it is. I wish I could see my family like I used to before all of this mess with my ex happened. I wish I could bring her home to my parents like the old fashion way. Maybe one day we can work something out. But for now, I must accept the circumstance and be blessed for their endless support and love.

Emily's POV

I fumble my way through the front door of my apartment, trying not to drop all of my bags from my week in Thailand. Once I set my bags down, I head to the kitchen and pour a glass of water as I thumb through my huge pile of mail Hanna made for me while I was gone.

"Bills, bills, fan mail, junk, more fan mail... no address?" I say suddenly confused by the plain white envelope in my hands.

I can't quite explain it, but this awful feeling suddenly overcomes me. I cautiously open the envelope and pull out a piece of computer paper that simply says, "Break up with her or you'll live to regret it."


	30. Attack

"What the hell? Is this some sort of sick joke?" I say aloud to myself as I begin to feel incredibly nauseous. "Whoever the hell this is must be out of their damn mind if they think I would ever leave Alison".

Okay Emily, calm down. This must just be some sick fan or someone trying to mess with me. Nothing to worry about. I mean you've killed terrorists with nothing but your hands before. You were specially trained to take down terrorists. You're still incredibly strong. This isn't anything you can't handle. If this note is really in fact anything to worry about.

I fold up the note, put it back in the envelope, and set it on the pile of mail. I head to the shower to try and clear my mind, shake the note from my consciousness, and wash my worries down the drain. Once out of the shower, I look at my phone and see a text from Alison.

Alison: Em I can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. I know you must be exhausted too, but will you come over and hold me till I fall asleep? I miss you next to me.

It's nice to feel needed by Alison. Truthfully, I don't sleep as well anymore if she's not in bed next to me so I completely understand what she's talking about.

Me: I'm on my way. I miss you too baby.

Approximately thirty minutes later, I'm ascending the stairs to her apartment. I knock on the door and I hear a faint, "It's open" from the other side of the door. I open the door and walk inside to see no Alison in sight.

"Babe" I say aloud, questioning where she is.

"I'm in here" Alison says from her bedroom.

Crossing the doorway, I see Moose in his fluffy, little cat bed instantly wake up and scurry over to me. Moose has become quite attached to me over these months and he's starting to feel like my pet too.

"Hey big man! Come here" I say lovingly as I scoop him up and give him kisses. "Did you miss me? Cause I sure missed you. Even more than your mama" I say jokingly.

"Hey!" says a jealous sounding Ali all curled up in her bed.

"Is someone jealous of my love for this bundle of joy right here" I ask while gently plopping him on the bed before I crawl into bed next to Alison.

"No. Cause he can't do this" Alison says before pulling me to her lips and kissing me, almost instantly going for a French kiss.

"Look away Moose. Your mommy's horny again" I say jokingly in between kisses.

Alison laughs loudly and kisses me one more time before snuggling up under my neck.

"Promise me something" I say with a heavy amount of concern in my voice.

"Sure. What is it" she asks sounding sleepy.

"Promise me you won't leave your door unlocked like that again. This world is full of crazy people and I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to you" I reply while mindlessly running my fingers through her hair.

"I promise Emily. I'll be more careful. I love that you're so protective over me but don't worry. Nothing bad is going to happen to me or to us" she replies while wrapping her arm around my waist even tighter. "For now, let's just get some sleep. We're both exhausted and I know we'll sleep better together".

It's been a few days since I received that note in the mail. I've been able to shake it's creepiness from my consciousness for the most part, but as I make my way down the hall to my apartment after a long day full of meetings, I can't seem to rid it from my mind. Who the hell sent that to me? Do they really mean what they say? Are they just messing with me? Oh I know, I'll take the letter to the police and have them finger print it for me. That's a threat so they have to investigate it right? But wait, what if this person has connections? What if this went public? That would surely only piss them off even more. I know. I'll privately message Jared Reign, the cop I met that day I freaked out over the car backfiring. I'll try and keep this on the downlow. I'm sure if I ask nicely, he'll help me.

Lost in my train of thought, I mindlessly reach in my purse and grab my keys to my apartment. Now only steps from my apartment door, I look up and see that the door is cracked open ever so slightly.

An intense flood of adrenaline rushes through my body and heightens my senses. I'm getting the same feeling I used to get right before we'd raid a compound and most certainly be walking into some sort of elaborate trap. My heart is pounding and I can even hear it's loud, rhythmic presence in my ears. Okay think Emily. My thoughts race through the possible options that face me on the other side of the door. It can't be Alison...she's at work. Aria, Spencer, and Hanna are all out of town. It could be some robber or crazed fan. Could it be the person that sent me that cryptic note? My thoughts wander to the various guns and knives I have stashed throughout my apartment.

"Okay Emily. You just need to get to one of those first. You can do this" I say softly to myself. I take a deep breath and quietly open the door, trying not to make a sound so I can have the leg up on any possible intruder. Once inside, I see that my apartment appears to be untouched. It's dead silent in my apartment but I can't seem to curtail this nausea. I reach down for my gun stashed under the small table I have by my front door. My eyes never leave the rest of my apartment while my fingers thumb for my gun that I quickly realize is no longer there. I ever so quietly move to my next stash. My gun is gone from there too. Place after place, I come up empty. I'm feeling more and more vulnerable with every passing second. Whoever this person is, invaded my apartment, had enough time to search out and take all of my weapons, and do God only knows what else. Think Emily, what other hiding spot is in one of these rooms? That's when it hits me, there's a gun holstered to the back of the refrigerator. I wedge my arm behind the refrigerator and reach for the familiar spot. My fingers instantly feel the cool metal of the handgun. "Ha! Missed one!" I think to myself as I triumphantly free it from it's hiding spot and remove the safety on it. I raise my weapon, ready to fire at any second as I make my way to the rooms I'd yet to clear. Now at the doorway to my closed off bedroom, I swiftly fling the door open and enter. My heart instantaneously drops and I can't believe what I'm seeing before me. I'm under attack.

Everywhere I look, pictures are plastered all over my bed, the floor, my dresser, and the wall. Pictures of me and Alison stare back at me. Our life together, our love, the story of our relationship, everything is displayed before me.  
Our comings and goings, our dates, you name it, they covered it. My heart aches at the sight of such an invasion of privacy. These were such intimate moments. We've been stalked. We've been under surveillance and I didn't even notice. How could I have been so careless and so stupid? I promised that I would always protect her and now it's very evident that I've failed her.

This is a clear message for me. Whoever this is is not joking around. They really want me to break up with Alison. The threat is real. This monster isn't a figment of my imagination. I can't sweep this under the rug anymore. Alison and I are in real danger. I need to protect her. The devil is staring me square in the eyes and I have to make a choice in this moment. Run or stand and fight this. Of course I want to fight this, but how? I need time to think. I need to distance myself a bit from Alison while I come up with a plan. Not too much though or she'll notice something is wrong.

I'm very careful not to touch anything or disturb the scene this predator set for me to find. I return to my purse and pull out my phone. I quickly find Jared's Instagram account and private message him, asking for his cell phone number. I begin to pace back and forth across my living room floor in anticipation of his reply. Within minutes he happily provides his phone number.

"Hey Jared it's Emily. I know this is a very odd request, but would you mind coming over to my apartment in street clothes whenever you can? Please don't wear your uniform. I'll explain more when you get here" I say cryptically as soon as he picks up the phone.

"Ummm... sure" he says after a long pause. "Do I need to bring my gun? Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine. And no gun. Please don't tell anyone. Just come when you can. I'll text you my address" I say feeling anxious.

"Okay... I'll be there in about an hour" he replies before hanging up the phone.

Jesus this hour is going to feel like a lifetime. I need him to get here now so we can figure out what to do about this. I can't do this on my own. I've lost all of my connections in the military and I need someone to help me without making this go public. That would only increase the danger. Even in the few moments I met him, I could feel that he was a good man. I feel like I can trust him.

It's been an hour and fifteen minutes and he's still not here. I'm about to pick up the phone and call him when I hear a knock at the door. I draw the only weapon I have left to my name and quietly gaze through the peephole in the door and see Jared. Relieved to see his face, I put my gun my the back of my pants and open the door for him.

"Hey. Come on in. Thanks for coming. Did anyone follow you" I ask while shutting the door.

"No one did. I made sure of it" he says reassuringly. "So tell me, what's wrong?"

"Well I guess I should start from the beginning" I say as I lead him over to the kitchen were I had the cryptic note hidden in a drawer.

I pull it out and show it to him while explaining, "I received this a few days ago when I returned from a week trip overseas. I've been the only one to touch it. Did you bring the fingerprinting kit and the evidence bags like I texted you about?"

Jared puts in his gloves and takes the note. "Well this definitely is creepy and absolutely a threat. Is there anything else?"

I oddly laugh and say, "This is just the tip of the iceberg. I came home today to my door cracked open. I came inside and as you can see nothing was destroyed but all of my secret stashes of guns and knives have been taken". Pulling my gun from the back of my waist, I continue, "They missed this one though. It's all I have left for protection. Let me show you what I found in my room".

I lead him to my room and as soon as he crosses the threshold he gasps and says, "Yea this isn't good. Whoever this is means business. They obviously had enough time to search your place, take your weapons, and craft this message to you. Have you called any police or told anyone about this?"

"No, no. I haven't told anyone. Not even Alison. I have to protect her from this. We have to fix this on the down low. This can't go public or whoever this is will probably escalate. I can't do this alone. I need your help. Will you help me?"

He pauses for a moment, taking in the horrific spectacle before him and says, "I'll help you. I have a few buddies in various departments that I can trust to help us figure this out. They won't say anything and they owe me big time. Don't worry Emily. You're not alone. You now have a team on your side. We're gonna figure this out".

I can't help but burst into tears and smother him with a huge hug. "Thank you so so much! I seriously couldn't do this without help".

"You're welcome" he says breaking the hug. "I want you to have that gun on you at all times. You need protection and I know you know how to use it."

"I promise I will" I reply fumbling with my fingers. "Just one more thing. What do you think I should do about Alison? I mean obviously I don't want to break up with her, but I know she's not safe and we still don't know exactly what we are up against. She's going to figure out something is up. She knows me too well".

Jared begins to individually pack all of the evidence in my room as contemplates my question. "Well, I bet she will figure out something is going on. For now, just keep things as normal as possible. Hopefully this predator will have made a mistake and left evidence. We can also check security cameras to see if we can catch a glimpse of this freak. If anything else comes up or whoever this is contacts you again, you call me immediately. But for now, just keep loving your girl".

Jared bagged all of the evidence and dusted for fingerprints all over my apartment, only to come up empty. The intruder didn't leave a single shred of evidence behind in my apartment. The next day, Jared called me and said that the note and every picture was tested and no fingerprints or any sort of DNA were found on the evidence. We'd hit a dead end. Back to square one. In a city of millions of people, it could literally be anyone. Jared's younger brother even hacked the security cameras in my building and the ones on the city street and found nothing viable. They narrowed it down to a tall, muscular figure that was careful not to show their face from underneath the black hoodie. They couldn't even tell me if it's a man or a woman. Great. Now we really know nothing to help us stop playing defense.

All I know is that this person is sophisticated in their efforts to remain anonymous and untraceable. They're dangerous and they mean business. How am I supposed to protect Alison from a threat I can't even identify or prepare for? With each passing day, I'm growing more and more frustrated that we can't seem to catch a break and uncover a lead. I'm feeling helpless and I hate it. I was once the hunter... the one who took down evil with ease and swift justice. I was invincible, I was mighty. But now I'm feeling small and worthless.

Over these few days, I haven't been able to control my need to check up on Alison whether it be through calling or texting. I know she can tell somethings up because she keeps asking me why I'm always checking on her. When we're around each other, she studies my face and I know she can tell something is wrong. She doesn't push too far though. It's always been her philosophy that I will tell her when I'm ready to do so.

Tonight, I'm taking her out to dinner at a new, fancy restaurant in Manhattan. I'm really going to try my best to act as natural as possible. It's just so hard to act normal when a mysterious threat looms over us 24/7 and I'm the only one that knows about it.

It's 7:30pm and I'm pulling up to Alison's apartment in a limo that I rented for the night. I want Alison to feel special, like royalty, and the ultimate beauty that I see every time I look into her eyes. I chose a body hugging, shimmery, black dress and matching shoes. I straightened my hair and went with smokey eyes and a dark red lipstick. I can't wait to see what she's going to wear. As I carefully climb the stairs to her apartment, I knock on the door and anxiously wait for her to open the door.

"Bye Moose. I'll be back" I hear suddenly from the other side of the door. She unlocks the door and opens it, flashing me her famous Alison smile in her off the shoulder, form-fitting, navy blue dress, and classic curled and twisted half up, half down hairstyle.

"Damn Ali... this dress... you look unbelievably beautiful" I saw as I step forward and pull her close to me. "How did I get so lucky to land a woman like you? You almost make me want to cancel dinner and that limo downstairs just so I can watch you take off this dress and let me have my way with you" I say in a sexy voice, just inches from her lips.

A deep red blush overcomes her cheeks as she tries to compose herself from the thought of me doing all of her favorite things to her body.

"Wait a minute! You said limo.. you got us a freaking limo to go to dinner" she says excitedly and in disbelief.

"You bet I did. I'm wining and dining my lady tonight" I reply. Now just inches from her ear I whisper, "And maybe a few other things if you're a good girl".

I can feel the flood of goosebumps all over her body in response to my forwardness.

"You are so damn slick aren't you Miss Emily Fields" Alison smirks as she playfully smacks my arm with her clutch. "Come on. Let's go. I'm starving" she continues as she grabs my hand and leads me towards the stairs.

During the limo ride over, I could barely keep my hands off of her. But tonight, Alison was going to make me work for it. Honestly, I didn't mind cause I enjoy the chase. I'd try and slide my hand over her inner thigh and slowly move it up her leg but then she'd playfully take my hand and put it back on my lap. So I decided to go for her ultimate weakness, slow, soft kisses on her neck.

"Emily, we are not going to be the 999th couple to have sex in this limo" she chuckles.

"It seems a little unfair to leave it at 999. Why not make it an even 1,000" I reply coyly in between kisses.

I can tell I'm slowly winning this battle because I can feel her body relaxing under my touch while she opens her legs a little further for my wandering hand in between her legs. I'm about to reach her underwear line when the car suddenly stops and the drive says through the partition, "Okay, we are here ladies".

"Looks like it'll remain an uneven number" I say smiling and kissing her lips before I get out of the limo and hold my hand out for Alison.

"My lady" I say slightly bowing as she takes my hand and steps out of the limo, full of excitement and a hint of lust from our steamy moment.

Overall, our dinner date was spectacular. The food was delightful, the wine was one of a kind, and the service was top notch. The head chef even came out to serve us dessert on the house. I ran into a few friends in the business and happily introduced Alison to them. My time with Alison during dinner was great too. I managed to expel the looming threat from my mind and just live in the moment with the woman I love. We talked, laughed, and honestly had the best time. I'm never going to get over the goosebumps I get when Alison smiles, laughs, or looks at me with so much love in her eyes. I need this woman in my life. Life just doesn't make sense without her.

Back at her apartment, Alison struggles to get the keys in the door as I kiss her neck from behind and run my hands up and down her body. Finally successful, we burst through the door and slam it shut behind us. We kick off our shoes and I push her up against the doorway, passionately kissing her red lips. Lifting her up, she wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her to the bedroom, never parting from those soft lips of hers. The rest of the night, I make good on my forwardness to do all of her favorite things to her body. I didn't think about the impending danger. I was just in the moment, making love to Alison and savoring every single kiss.

The next morning, I wake up naked and entangled in Alison's arms. This right here is what's right in my life and I don't ever want to lose this. Suddenly, an alarm goes off on Alison's phone, causing her to slowly wake up. Her eyes widen even more when she realizes and remembers what the alarm means. "Oh my God. I totally forgot about my ER specialized certification class today!" Alison says in a sudden panic. Kissing the top of my head she continues, "Baby I'm so sorry, but I have to get up and get ready to go".

"Oh no really?" I say pouting my lip in disappointment.

"I know Em I'm so sorry" she says quickly throwing clothes on and running into the bathroom. Minutes later, she comes out of the bathroom and plops on the bed next to me, looking me square in the eyes.

"Thank you for such an incredible date last night. You really made me feel loved and truly special. You have no idea how much that means to me" she says gently tucking my hair behind my ears. Leaning in, she stops and says, "The sex was pretty damn spectacular too" before she kisses me.

"I'll make this up to you. I promise" she says before she gives me a quick kiss and climbs off of the bed.

Alison grabs her phone and purse and stops in the doorway. Turning around, she looks at me, smiles sweetly and says, "I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you Emily" before she blows me a kiss and leaves for her certification class.

And there I am, all alone, naked in her bed. Alison's words warm my heart and reinforce why I love her so deeply. At the same time, I can't seem to shake the feeling like this will be the last perfect moment we will share together. Emily quit being so paranoid. Don't ruin this moment I think to myself.

As I walk closer to my apartment door, I see a small cardboard box sitting in front of my doorway. I mindlessly pick it up and bring it inside, thinking it's one of my usual packages the mail man leaves at the door. Once inside, I set my things down and return my attention to the package. Inspecting it further, I realize there is no official address on it. The all too familiar overwhelming nausea overcomes me again when I realize it's probably from the person that's been sending me these messages. I take my apartment keys and open up the box, revealing a small, old timey flip phone. I pick it up carefully and inspect it. Seconds later, the phone rings loudly in my hands, startling me, and causing me to drop it back into the box. My blood is pumping now. I stare down at the phone contemplating if I should answer it. Ring after ring, I can feel the time running out for me to make a choice.

I quickly pick up the phone and say nothing. On the other line, I hear heavy breathing. Suddenly, a muffled, indistinguishable voice says, "Hello there Emily".

Chills crawl up and down my back at the sinister greeting.

"What do you want?" I ask forcefully.

"Now is that the way you talk to someone? Let's not be rude now" says the voice on the other end.

"I said what. do. you. want" I repeat angrily.

"A down to business kind of girl. I like it... You know what I want... And you've continued to ignore my order even with my lovely display for you" says the voice now chuckling.

"I love Alison more than anything in this world and I'm not just going to stop because you say so" I spit back defiantly. "I will figure out who you are and I will hunt you down and I will bring you to justice".

The person on the other end begins to slowly clap. "Very nice... what a lovely speech. You love her and that is exactly why you will do what I say in the end. Yet for now, you seem to underestimate me even though I've clearly shown you that I know your every move. I've painstakingly watched you. I'm in your head now and there is nothing you can do about it. Can't you see that I've made it impossible for you to figure out who I am? The hunter has become the hunted. There is no way out. No solution. No victory possible for you. My patience only lasts for so long Emily. I will get what I want. You will break up with your precious girlfriend".

"And how exactly are you going to get me to do that? Why do you even want this to happen so badly" I hiss back.

"The why doesn't matter dear Emily. Results do. You will break up with her. You will end up alone. Just like you deserve to be. As for how I'd make you do it... Oh there are a plethora of ways... First of all, I could kill your not so secret confidant that's been helping you investigate me. Jared... he's quite a handsome fella. He seems so in love with his girlfriend too... It'd be a real shame if his car breaks suddenly failed or he was ambushed in his patrol car late one night. Or say for instance... right now, in this very moment... he's waiting for the subway. It'd be purely awful in this massive crowd if he'd just happen to bump into an oncoming subway. Messy...very messy indeed" the voice laughs at the thought.

"You're a sick bastard!" I yell at the indescribable voice. "Don't you dare touch him! He's innocent in all of this." I continue to yell.

"You still seem to think that you have leverage or any say so in this Emily. You have nothing. I have eyes everywhere. You are not in control" the voice continues to hammer into my mind.

In all honesty, this freak is correct. They are far too connected and far too intelligent for me to fight. They're ten steps ahead of me. I'm fighting in a rigged match. I quickly begin to realize that I can't win this and it's killing my soul.

"Awww... I hear silence... is someone finally beginning to understand?" mocks the voice. "Just in case you haven't, let me explain things just a little bit more. You see Alison is sitting in her class right now, completely unaware that danger lurks in the shadows. It'd be a real shame to have such a fine looking woman be beaten to a pulp in an alley on her walk home in the dark. Or maybe I could use one of those guns that you thought you so cleverly hid from me. You know they have your fingerprints all over them. And well... they definitely wouldn't have mine. And this lengthy, mentally unstable journal I have that details your suspicions of cheating on Alison's part, your jealousy, and your rage would easily support a motive for murder. Or you know... now that I think of it, I could just come up behind her on a quiet street and snap her neck. You see Emily, there are an infinite amount of ways in which I could kill Alison and make you look guilty. And don't think I won't do it. You have until the end of tonight to break up with her. If you chose not to do so, well... I'll just have to kill Jared and Alison. Who knows, maybe I'll even move onto killing Aria, Spencer, and Hanna. That'll leave you all alone with no one in this world to love you. Do I make myself clear?" asks the voice forcefully.

"Crystal" I say trying to fight back the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Just a few more things. How do I know that if I break up with Alison that you won't just go ahead and do all of this anyway? If I break up with her, you'll leave everyone alone and not hurt anyone?" I ask helplessly.

"Oh I promise. Scouts honor... I'll be gone. You'll never hear from me again. You'll be able to continue your modeling life with all of your team. Jared will live on to marry his girlfriend. Alison will be heartbroken, but she will live to move on too. Now do what I said or you know what will happen. Take some time to come up with a convincing breakup. Alison will be done with her class this evening. That's when you'll text her to come over. That's when you'll break up with her. That's where your love story will end" says the voice simply.

"So your mission is to basically make me live in hell and heartache for the rest of my life isn't it?" I spit bitterly.

"Now you get it. Now I suggest you start preparing. The clock is ticking" says the evil voice before they hang up the phone.

Haunting silence engulfs my surroundings as the magnitude of my predicament quickly begins to sink in. There's no way out of this. Alison and I can't run away because this evil bastard will just kill Jared, Hanna, Spencer, and Aria. I can't protect everyone. I can't go to the police officially. That would only anger this freak even more. I've failed them all. I'm a failure. My heart that was once full of so much love and joy is now full of darkness and sorrow. I have to do this. I have to break Alison's heart in order to save her life.

I pick up my phone and text Alison.

Me: Come over after your class.

Alison: Sure thing! I can't wait to get out of this class. I miss you already. See you at 6! I love you babe! :)

And with that, I slowly slump down the side of the cabinet and onto the floor, completely heartbroken and devastated. How am I going to do this? How am I going to break her heart and move on with my life as if she never happened?


	31. Poison

Emily's POV

I cried the rest of the day till I couldn't cry anymore. I spent the day in silence in my misery and just watched the clock till I knew Alison would arrive. My eyes were puffy, swollen, and red. I constantly felt like I was seconds away from throwing up. As I sit on this couch, I watch the natural light in my apartment fade from bright and sunny to now dim and dark. I guess that's a fitting metaphor for my love story with Alison. Haunting foreshadowing if you think about it.

It's 5:59 pm and I'm sitting on the couch, waiting for my life to officially fall apart. A knock at the door stirs me from my thoughts and I instantly feel tears form in my eyes. I take a moment to compose myself before I open the door and see a cheery Alison standing in the doorway.

She smiles, steps forward, and hugs me saying, "Hey babe! God I'm so glad to be done with that class" before she casually enters my apartment and plops herself down on the couch.

I slowly shut the door and somberly walk over to the couch, feeling like I'm about to head into battle that I know I won't return from. I sit down next to Alison and can't seem to bring myself to look her in the eyes as she chatters on about her day. Between the horror I feel inside me and the gravity of what I'm about to do, I honestly can't even pay attention to what she's saying.

Her gentle hand on mine brings me back from my train of thought.

"Em, what's wrong? To be honest... and I'm not trying to be mean here.. but you look awful" Alison says squeezing my hand a little tighter.

This is the moment. It's finally here. The thing that I have been dreading all day. I feel a lump begin to form in my throat, almost like every fiber of my being is fighting to stop me from saying these awful words.

"Alison, we need to talk" I say quietly. I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes, but I can only imagine she's freaking out inside because I could feel her hand slightly jolt in reaction to the statement.

"Emily. Look at me. What's wrong?" Alison replies.

God I can't do this. I can't look her in the eyes while I shatter her heart into a million pieces. I finally decide to look in those beautiful blues because I know deep inside that it will only help sell what I'm about to say.

"I...I...I'm breaking up with you" I say simply.

Alison's hand quickly retreats from mine and a horrified look overcomes her once cheery face.  
"What did you say?" she asks hoping she didn't hear me correctly.

I swallow that lump in my throat and repeat, "I'm breaking up with you".

A mixture of anger, sadness, and confusion forms across her beautiful face as she frantically says, "What?! Why?! I... I don't understand!"

A pale pink flush highlights her cheeks as her lip begins to quiver and tears begin to form in her eyes.

"I'm not happy in this relationship and I don't see the point in continuing on living a lie" I say flatly while secretly dying inside.

Horror and confusion dominates her facial expression now as she gets up off the couch and starts pacing in my living room. "I... I just don't understand... Last night was so amazing... You treated me like your queen, you showered me with kisses... you... you couldn't keep your hands off of me" she exclaims loudly as she begins to rub her fingers over temples, trying to comprehend the situation. "We made love last night. You were happy... I was happy... We were happy for God sakes! What the hell Emily?" she begins to yell at me.

I hate seeing her quickly unravel like this. I stand up from the couch and continue my awful lies. I need to make this swift and painful because I don't know how much longer I can do this without falling apart in front of her.

I take a deep breath, trying to fight back my screaming mind, body, heart, and spirit. "I've been faking it. I've been lying to you" I reply. "It's all been a game for me. A new challenge of sorts. I was getting bored with the slutty easy girls. They weren't fun to play with anymore. Then I met you. You were a challenge. All of this was just to get in your pants. That was the end goal. And now that I've achieved that, I'm bored and unhappy. You're a toy that's no longer fun to play with" I continue.

Alison looks at me like she's never looked at me before. The look in her eyes is nothing but pure, unadulterated pain. She stands there before me with her mouth open in disbelief as she processes my words.

"But... you said you loved me... You said you've never been happier... You told me all of those personal things about yourself" she says softly. I can practically hear her heart cracking. But it's not broken yet. In order for this to work, I need to obliterate her heart.

"I don't love you. It was just a thing I had to say so I could sleep with you and get what I was really after. It's all been a lie Alison". I take one deep breath and put the final nail in the coffin.

"I never loved you".

These words were like poison in my mouth and in my being. It was like I spit in the face of God. I've broken the both of us. In that moment, I heard Alison's heart shatter.

Alison looks at me as tears stream down her cheeks with nothing but emptiness in her eyes. I never wanted her to look at me like that. If this monster never came into our lives, I would have never let her go. But now I'm forced to lose her forever and I can feel myself losing my composure.

Suddenly, Alison yells through her sobs, "Why are you doing this?"

Shaking now, she sobs, "I can't accept this. I love you Emily and I know you love me".

Reaching out for me now, she pleads, "Please don't do this to me... to us... I beg you. Can't you see you're breaking my heart?!"

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take it all back, tell her everything, apologize, and hold her close to me. But I couldn't. I had to pull away from her.

I pull away from her attempt to touch me and ultimately cause her to release a whimper from her lips. "Emily... you're hurting me... can't you see it" she exclaims.

"I think I've said all there is to say Alison. I think you should go" I say barely holding on.

Alison steps back in disbelief. I can feel the once warmth love between us shift to ice cold pain and all encompassing emptiness.

Through her now silent sobs and sniffles, Alison quietly picks up her bag and heads for the door.

Hold on Emily. Just a few more seconds until you can fall apart again. The sight of her walking out my door again is an all too familiar feeling of pain. I hate this. She's broken. I'm broken.

Alison places her hand on the doorknob and stops. Turning her attention back to me, she pauses and then says, "You're going to regret this. This is your last chance. Once I walk out this door, you've lost me forever".

I remain silent even though my insides are screaming for me to run to her. After a few moments, Alison nods to herself with that awful pained look in her eyes and walks out my door.

That final click of the door was the last straw for me. I collapsed on the sofa in a fit of sobs. My body shook as I sobbed all alone on the couch. My chest ached in this God awful, indescribable way. This pain was too much for me to handle. I'd just done the most horrific thing to the woman I love because I love her and I had to let her go. I can never take this back. My once happy life now feels like nothing without her in it. In this moment, I feel like dying. That certainly must be to only way to find relief from this suffocating pain.

Alison's POV

Tearing out of Emily's apartment, I'm barely successful in hailing a cab because I'm crying and shaking uncontrollably. Of course it's pouring down rain too. What a metaphor for my life right now. I manage to tell the driver my address and he very soon senses to let me cry in peace.

Thankfully I arrive home rather quickly. Walking up the stairs brings nothing but countless memories of going to and coming home from dates with Emily. Opening the door causes flashbacks of Emily's sexy smile at nothing but the sight of me. Crossing through the doorway haunts my lips with a cold chill, reminding me of the warmth Emily's lips once provided during greetings and moments of pure lust and passion.

Closing the door now, I stand completely still with my eyes closed, feeling the emptiness of my apartment and the deafening silence where my heart used to beat. Pitter patter on the floor causes me to open my eyes and momentarily smile as my sweet Moose greets me. But this smile soon fades as I remember how much Moose loves Emily.

God everything I see... everything I do brings me right back to Emily.

"Maybe I'll just change my clothes and go to bed", I say to myself. "I think I've cried every last tear left in me... Now I'm just dead inside... Crushed.. Nothing but a hollow shell of a once happy, vibrant woman completely and utterly in love".

I walk into my room and stop dead in my tracks in the doorway. The mere sight of my bed sends me into a fit of blubbering sobs again. This is the bed we used to snuggle in for countless nights. This is the bed we just made love in such a short time ago. That bed.. hell this whole room captures the last happy memory I have with Emily. It's like some twisted snapshot of happiness now turned to a torturous reminder of what I no longer have in my life. Joy, happiness, love, purpose, you name it... it's all gone now. Emily broke me. Emily broke us. Emily played me for a fool. I want to hate her right now but I can't. All I feel is a strange mixture of painful emptiness and love for her. Even if she didn't ever love me, I truly loved her and I can't just turn that off like a light switch.

I settle for crawling up on my couch under a blanket with Moose until I eventually cry myself to sleep.

A phone call wakes me from my sleep the next morning. An instantaneous, pounding headache smacks me wide awake. My eyes are practically swollen shut from all of the crying and I feel like I've been hit my a semi truck.

I can't even see who's calling me, but I deliriously answer anyway.

"Hello" I ask sounding half drunk.

"Hey girl it's Hanna. So Spencer, Aria, and I were wondering if you wanted to come to brunch with us? I was of course going to call and invite Emily too after I finished talking to you" she says matter of factly.

"Oh God Emily" I say now crying as I realize that last night wasn't just some awful nightmare.

"Wait Ali are you crying" asks Hanna sounding concerned. "What's wrong?" she continues.

"Hanna" I sniffle tearfully, "Emily broke up with me last night".

"SHE DID WHAT?!" Hanna yells on the other end of the phone. "What the literal fuck?...Say no more. We're coming to your place now" she continues.

"Wait Hanna.. no you really don't have to" I reply.

"Shut up... we're on our way now" she replies forcefully.

I don't even know how long time went by before they got to my place. I've just been laying on the couch, completely numb and practically catatonic. The knock at the door spurs me to get up, feeling stiff as a board, and open the door.

All three of them flood in and I close the door behind them.

"Oh my God" they all say in unison at the sight of my pitiful, heartbroken self.

Their looks of concern for me bring tears to my eyes again.

"Oh Ali come here" Aria says pulling me close for a comforting hug.

I finally let my tears fall down my cheeks as each one of them tries to console me.

"Come.." Spencer says guiding me to the couch. "Tell us everything that happened".

"Guys I don't know if I can" I say as my lip quivers. "It hurts to much".

"I know Ali but it might help to talk about it. Plus we are just as confused as you are" says Hanna as she softly takes my hand.

I take a deep breath and say, "To make a long story short, Emily texted me to come over to her place after I finished my certification class. When I got there, she looked horrible. And then... she just started talking and said that she was breaking up with me. She said she wasn't happy and that she didn't see the point in living a lie anymore".

"WHAT?!" they all yell in unison.

"Then she said it was all just a lie, nothing but a challenge and a game to eventually just have sex with me" I continue.

"But that's so not the case" Hanna says with a confused look on her face.

"Then she said something that just broke my heart. She said she never loved me. She only said that to get in my pants" I say crying again.

"That doesn't make any sense" Aria says in disbelief.

"Yea Alison. She seemed completely in love with you" Spencer replies sounding and looking equally confused and shocked.

"She's bored with me now. Like she said, I'm a toy that's no longer fun to play with" I continue.

"What a bitch" Hanna says suddenly sounding quite angry.

"I... I just don't get it" Aria adds. "That's so not like Emily. She left no indication that's how she felt".

"And what did you say to all of that" Spencer asks.

"I told her that she was breaking my heart, I was confused, and it didn't make any sense. I thought we were on the same page... completely in love and incredibly happy" I reply now rubbing my still throbbing headache.

"Well Alison we want you to know that we completely support you in this. We're on your side" Aria says now rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"I'm gonna call that bitch right now and give her a piece of my mind! She can't treat you like that" Hanna says furiously while reaching for her phone.

"No wait" Spencer says to Hanna. "There has to be a logical explanation to this. This just doesn't make sense. This isn't the Emily we all know and love" she continues.

"I still think she needs to know how awful she is and how hurtful she was to Alison" Hanna replies now standing up. "I'm gonna go tell her to her face. Maybe even slap her across the face".

"No Hanna. Wait. Violence and yelling is not going to solve anything. You're too emotional about this right now. I will go. I will talk to Emily about why she did this" Spencer says forcefully. Turning her attention to me, she says smiling sweetly, "Then I will come back and hopefully have some answers for you".

"Okay... and thank you guys so much for being so nice to me" I say wiping away my tears.

"Of course Alison. We're your friends. Friends are there for you in tough times" Aria says hugging me again.

Spencer leaves and heads for Emily's apartment.

Spencer' POV

The entire trip over here and the walk down the hall to Emily's apartment, I've thought about what I want to say to her when I see her. I'm so angry at her right now, I feel like I could easily pull a Hanna and just slap her. Does she honestly think she can treat people like that?

I bang on her door and she doesn't answer. I bang again. Still no answer.

"Come on Emily I now you're in there" I yell harshly. Still nothing.

"Fine" I say to myself, "If you're not going to answer the damn door, I'll just let myself in" as I unlock the door and step inside.

I shut the door behind me and say "Emily. Where are you?"

No reply. I walk through all of the rooms in her apartment, even the studio and she's nowhere to be found. I walk back into the kitchen and see a piece of paper and a cell phone on the island countertop. Walking closer, I see that it's a note from Emily.

"Spencer,  
I knew you'd be the one to come over here to try and talk some sense into me. I know Hanna and Aria are probably at Alison's place comforting her. You see Spence, I need some time away. I'm going off the grid for awhile... hence me leaving my phone behind. I'll be back eventually. Please don't hate me... Love, Emily".

Alison's POV

It's been a little over 2 hours since Spencer left my apartment to talk to Emily. I've been a nervous wreck since she left, biting my nails, pacing, and anxiously awaiting clarification. Aria and Hanna have been trying to keep my mind off of things by making breakfast, play with Moose, turning on the TV, you name it.

Suddenly Spencer walks through the door with a pensive look on her face.

"What did she say? Please tell me you have something that can help me understand why she's done this" I say pleading with Spencer.

We all sit down in the living room and wait for Spencer to finally speak.

Looking at me finally, she says, "She's gone".

"What do you mean she's gone" I ask confused.

"She left a note for me saying that she was basically going off the grid for awhile. She even left her phone in her apartment. She said she'll be back eventually and asked for me to not hate her" Spencer replies.

Continuing on she says, "I looked all over the apartment for her... even the studio... I looked in her closet and saw her travel bag and some clothes and shoes were missing. Her passport is gone too. I continued my search all over the apartment, trying to figure out where she might have gone. I came up with nothing. I'm sorry Ali. She could be anywhere".

"Why would she leave? If anything, I should be the one that leaves to have some time to think. For fucks sakes she broke my heart... not the other way around" I say raising my voice.

Aria gently places her hand on mine, attempting to calm me down and says, "Maybe she's afraid of the ramifications of what we'd say to her once we found out".

"She better be" Hanna yells. "I'm gonna kick her ass the next time I see her! She's being such a bitch! For God sakes Alison and Emily were perfect together! They were literally made for each other and she goes and does this?! I don't think so" she says sounding flabbergasted and pissed all at once.

"Okay I realize you're pissed Hanna and trying to help, but talking about how perfect they were together probably doesn't help Ali too much" Spencer replies shooting Hanna a dirty look.

"I'm sorry Ali" Hanna replies. "I don't mean to upset you".

I take her hand and say, "It's okay Hanna. I know what you mean. And honestly. I think I'm all cried out. I'm just predominantly sad and confused at this point".

"So I guess there is nothing we can really do until she contacts one of us" Aria says somberly while gazing off into space.

Now all of us are off in our own world. Her words so true, so simple, and so hauntingly painful. We're all just going to have to live in a state of limbo until Emily decides to show her face again.

Snapping back to reality, I suddenly say without thinking, "And of course I work three nights in a row starting tonight. Then I get a day off. Then I work three nights in a row again".

Spencer replies, "Maybe that will help you keep your mind off the pain and confusion. Do some good and get away from it all ya know?"

"You're probably right" I reply. "I can't live like this forever. I can't just allow myself to feel like this all the time".

"But I don't think you should sweep your emotions under the rug. You need to feel these things and process the situation the best way you can" Aria says smiling sweetly.

"Yea or else you'll be in the grocery store one day, accidentally chip your fingernail and just have a complete meltdown in the middle of the store" Hanna says sounding concerned.

I laugh at the imagery of that. "You're so right" I say after a good laugh. "I promise I won't repress my emotions" I say looking at all of them.

"Are you okay with being by yourself or would you like us to stay" Aria asks me.

"Yea we'll do whatever you want us to do" Spencer adds.

Looking around at all of them I reply, "You guys are so kind to me. Thank you for being such wonderful friends to me in my time of need. To be honest, I think I'll be okay. I have a few things I can do around here before work tonight. Just promise me something. If you hear anything from her, you'll let me know as soon as you can" I ask them nicely.

"Of course Alison. We want answers for ourselves and more importantly for you" Hanna replies rubbing my shoulder.

"Okay guys let's let Alison have some alone time" Spencer says while standing up with her things.

Congregating at the door, I smile, give a big hug to each of them, thank them, and wave them goodbye.

Now I'm all alone again. "Well doesn't this just feel great" I say sarcastically to myself.

I really should take a shower. But I can't seem to make myself walk into that bedroom quite yet. It's still too perfect from my last night of bliss with Emily. The moment I walk into that room and start functioning in it again, the memory will forever be tainted. I'll be officially moving on from Emily and on with my life. God I don't want to do that. "But you have to shower. You stink. Come on Ali, you're a grown ass woman. Walk in that damn room, take a shower, hold your head high, and move on. Take one step at a time" I say to myself.


	32. You

Emily's POV

It's the evening of my 6th night here. This is the darkest place I've ever been in my entire life. Even after war and losing Maya. This truly crippling depression and sadness that infests every cell of my body feels like it will never go away. Am I really destined to live my life as a shell of the person I once was? Is this my living hell... my penance for all the people I've killed in my lifetime? For all the women I've used for my pleasure? For all the destructive choices I've made in my life before Alison?

There hasn't been a soul around for days. It's just been me, this big ole house, and the expansive, blue ocean that never ceases to call to me and remind me of her. These past few days, I've been doing a lot of sitting around the house in silence, walking on the beach, crying, and thinking about Ali.

I left my apartment the night I blew up my life into a million little pieces. I needed to get away. The city and my apartment especially held too many memories. The memories of our love story were playing in my mind and simultaneously suffocating the space where my heart used to beat for Alison. Everything felt like it was caving in around me and so I had to escape. I had to breathe and I knew this would be the best place for me to come. This is always the best place for me to come. Even though this beach house in the Hamptons reminds me of my wonderful day here with Alison and the girls, it's just the right amount of comfort that I need. This place has always served as my sanctuary and my place to get right with my soul.

Reflection has been a common theme of my days here. I've thought about where I went wrong with protecting her. What did I miss? Where exactly did I fail her? I've thought about the quiet, intimate walk on the beach with Alison. Every sunset, I walk to the spot where we sat watching our first sunset together. Sometimes, I close my eyes and I can still feel her arm wrapped around mine with her head on my shoulder. The moment was so simple yet so pure. I think that's where I really began to fall for Alison. Every day since then and every little moment that followed culminated into this great love. I don't believe that I fell in love with Alison in a specific moment. It was the million little things of our time together that built my love. The foundation was set for something real and something lasting. It wasn't a phase. It wasn't just some crush. It was authentic and genuine. We were real.

With time, I could have seen myself buying the perfect ring, planning the perfect proposal, and asking her to be my wife. I could have loved her till my dying breath. Who knows. Maybe I will be loving her till my dying breath... just not in the way that I'd hoped.

As I sit in the same spot, every evening, every sunset, my mind wanders to Alison. I wonder what she's doing right now. Is she preparing for work? Is she alone, crying on the couch? Is she getting drunk and hooking up with someone?

"Don't be silly. She's not that kind of girl. You know her better than that" I say to myself.

Now on cue, every evening, I close my eyes the moment before the sun dips behind the horizon. "I love you Ali. I always will" I whisper as if the words escaping my lips could travel in the ocean breeze and magically make their way to her ears.

There's a certain amount of peace that blesses a person's soul at the mere sight and sound of the ocean's majesty and rhythmic song. I'm finding said peace as I continue to sit on the powdery sand and watch the sky transition from bright and romantic to dark and enigmatic. The higher the moon rises in the night sky, the more I struggle with leaving this temporary relief and peace. The night time chill off the ocean eventually coaxes me back to the beach house where I'll settle for a fire in the fireplace. When I can't stand the chill outside at night or sleep evades me, I find alleviation in the warmth and crackling sound of a fire. Trudging back towards the beach house through the loose sand, I realize that I forgot to leave a dim light over the kitchen table.

"This'll be fun seeing in the dark" I say to myself as I climb the steps to the back door. Thankfully, even in the pitch black house, my senses and my familiarity with the home guide me to the light switch across the room. Flicking on the dim dining table light, I head to the cabinet, pull out a wine glass, and make my way to the custom wine storage on the other side of the kitchen. Popping the cork, I mindlessly pour a hefty glass of wine and make my way to the living room to start the fire.

Within seconds, after gentle encouragement, a healthy fire begins to burn in the fireplace. I stand back a bit and admire the the simplistic beauty a fresh fire brings with it's warmth, fragrance, and soothing sound. A deep sigh escapes my mouth before I take a long, slow sip of wine, feeling it slide down my throat and warm my insides.

"I've always found fire to be so simple yet so powerful in it's lethality and complexity" says a cold voice suddenly behind me.

The hairs on the back of my neck instantly stand up at the sudden intrusion of privacy and security. The instantaneous fear I felt in that moment startled me and caused me to jump in pure fright. The full glass of wine I had tucked gingerly between my fingertips now exists in pieces and a soaked mess on the floor. This has to be the bastard that's ruined my life. Who else would it be? They've come to kill me... I'm sure of it.

I spin around to face this maniacal voice head on.

"YOU" I growl as soon as I identify the source.

"You... I should have known it was you. God I'm so stupid" I spit angrily.

"Tis I, in the flesh" says the figure dressed in a black hoodie and dark pants.

"I see they let you out of the nut house" I say never leaving her eyes.

"Now now Emily... is that the way you talk to a fellow solider? And you should be the one to talk. You sought help once too" replies the figure shaking her finger in disapproval.

"Well Kate there is a difference between using mental illness to escape prison time and actually seeking help for mental illness. You were a coward and cheat the system... I needed help and did it the right way" I retort glaring at the bitch that nearly killed my Alison. "You disgust me" I continue.

Laughing demonically, Kate replies, "Well I can see what Alison likes in you... gorgeous and spunky with a moral compass... Tough to pass that combination up".

"What do you want Kate? You forced me to break up with Alison. You got what you wanted. You said you'd leave us alone. Now here you are. I assume to kill me? Or are you just on a suicide mission" I ask boldly.

"Well you see... I was such a good little girl in the nut house as you call it, that they decided I was safe enough to let go. All along though, I knew the moment I got out, I'd go looking for Alison. So much to my surprise, she up and disappeared from town and no one knew where she went. That only made it more exciting for me though. Never thought she'd have the balls to do it. So I started doing some digging and well... she definitely didn't make it easy. I'll admit that I was coming up with nothing. One evening when I started feeling dejected... I sat down on my couch and turned on the television".

Laughing again she says, "I'm just flipping through the channels, sipping on a cold beer, when something catches my eye. There...plastered on the screen was a picture of you with a mysterious blonde out and about in New York. I studied the picture and lone behold... there she was... my sweet little Alison hand in hand with you".

"You don't get to call her that! You tried to kill her you crazy bitch" I yell defensively.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... I wasn't quite sure if it was her at first... but when you've had a love like ours, you just know. Did she honestly think that losing some weight, getting her nose done, getting lip fillers, filling out her chin, growing out her hair, and changing the color would honestly fool me? And to top it all off, she got cocky enough to start dating a celebrity. I mean seriously" Kate says raising her hands in the air, sounding flabbergasted.

"How stupid could she be? And how selfish are you to know about me, put her in the spotlight like that, and expect that everything would just be fine? Like I would ever let anyone else be with my Alison?" Kate continues sounding angry as she raises her voice.

"I was fully aware of the risk and I brought it up to her. Not that our relationship is any of your damn business" I reply.

"So you set out to find us, watch our every move, and develop your plan to break us up. All for what exactly" I ask forcefully.

"Haven't you been listening?... Alison is mine. Not your's. Not anyone's. Mine. By eliminating you, that clears the way for me to make my way back into her heart and her life. She will take me back. She always did. You don't think I'd honestly let a woman like that get away so easily now do you? She's perfect for me. We're perfect together. Our love was untouchable. Until you came along and clouded her judgement. And now... well you have to go my dear" Kate cackles at me.

"You really are out of your damn mind. You may have played the doctors at whatever shitty mental institution you were at, but you're not fooling me and you'll certainly never fool Alison. She's never going to take you back! She's moved on! She loves me. Plus it's not like there was much to move on from. She never really loved you. She really more pitied you and tried to save you. So if you think by killing me that you'll be able to just waltz back into her life, then you've got another thing coming to you sister" I say laughing at Kate.

"This ends tonight...Right here in this house" I say boldly taking a step towards her with nothing but rage fueling my bravery and determination.

"Finally. We agree on something" Kate says before she reaches behind her back.

Instantly, I know she's got a gun. This fight is starting out rigged in her benefit. I have to find cover. I have to arm myself because with her skills set as a former marine, she'll have me dead with two quick taps on the trigger. I need to get upstairs. My gun is up there in my bag. It's the only shot I have at making it out of here alive and back to Alison.

Within a split second, I dash for the stairs as fast my legs will possibly carry me. Two shots ring out, only they're muffled. Of course the bitch brought a silencer. Thankfully the bullets zoom right past me, shattering a vase on the hallway table.

"Ha! Missed me bitch" I yell laughing as I sprint upstairs.

"I didn't quite expect you to be so agile. Very impressive" Kate yells in reply. Only she's not running after me. The sound of her footsteps are slow and purposeful, almost cocky and predatory in nature.

Tearing down the long hallways of the upstairs floor, passing each adjacent room, I finally make my way into the bedroom. Heart racing, I reach inside my bag and realize the gun is no longer tucked away underneath the clothes. Is this bitch really using my own gun to try and kill me?

I abandon the search for my gun and begin to frantically search for something I can turn into a weapon. Luckily, I can move from room to room without crossing into the hallway because the rooms on each side are connected through the second floor balcony that wraps around the entire house.

Sadly, all I'm able to find is a spare phone charger and small bottle of hairspray.

"Great. This is gonna be so helpful" I sarcastically say to myself as I look down at the only weapons I could come up with. I'm thankful that I am far more familiar with the ins and outs of this house than Kate is. As she searches for me in every room, constantly talking to me and taunting me, I can quietly and strategically maneuver myself around the expansive top floor of the house without her finding me.

This truly feels like I'm back in the desert, raiding a compound, and trying to remain undetected. Only this time, I don't have grenades, a knife, and a rifle. I'm stuck with a phone charger and some hair spray.

I need to position myself so I can surprise her from behind. Quiet as a church mouse, I move to the last room at the end of the hall before the open walkway that gives you a view of the kitchen and living room on the first floor.

The heavy pounding of Kate's boots are getting closer and closer. I silence my heavy, anxious breathing as I position myself behind a large bookshelf, ready to pounce at a moment's notice.

"Oh Emilyyyyy... come out, come out wherever you are" Kate mocks as she gets closer and closer. As soon as she appears in the doorway with my gun drawn pointing forward, I tackle her from the side, sending us bursting through the closed doorway across the hall. Kate instantly drops the gun out of surprise by my attack. I hadn't quite realized just how large Kate actually was until I was on top of her, throwing my first punch. She's a good 3-4 inches taller than me and has about 20 pounds of pure muscle over me.

Every punch I throw is fueled with nothing more than a desperate need to survive and get back to Alison. I'm about to throw another punch when all of the sudden, I hear a small click and feel a sharp pain and a twisting motion in my side.

I yell out in pain and Kate pushes me off of her. Now on her feet, she quickly regains her composure while I'm still on my hands and knees, trying to push through the pain.

Kate claps and says, "You had me there for a second. I'll admit that" before she kicks me hard in my side, causing me to scream again and fall onto my back.

"Oh come on Emily. Don't make this too easy. At least put up a fight" Kate yells as she continues to kick me, a couple times in my ribs and once in my face.

With brute force, she picks me up by my shirt and throws me up against the wall in one swift motion.

Now eye to eye, she adds, "I thought the infamous, badass Emily Fields would be a better fight than this".

If Kate can pull dirty tricks, then so can I. I smile at her and say, "We're just getting started" before I pull the small bottle of hairspray out of my back pocket and shoot it directly into her eyes.

Kate instantly cries out and pulls away from me yelling, "Damnit, my eyes" as she frantically tries to relieve the burning sensation.

I take this opportunity to look for my gun amongst the mess we've created. I turn my search to the hallway were I instantly see it further down the hall. I quickly run towards it, but before I can reach it, Kate's massive body crashes down on me. The gun skids across the floor even more. I quickly throw a punch and kick Kate off of me with all of my might. Scrambling to my feet, I dash towards the gun. My fingertips are inches from it when I suddenly feel two quick stabs in my back, instantly stopping me in my tracks. The debilitating pain I feel right now seems insurmountable. I can feel blood gushing out of me, I can barely breathe, barely see, and my head is pounding. I look up and see Kate bending down for the gun with her back faced away from me. This is my moment. I can't let her shoot me.

Rallying, I lift myself up off the floor, pull out the phone charger from my pocket, and run towards her. As soon as she stands straight and begins to turn to shoot me, I fling my arms in front of her neck and forcefully pull her close to me. With whatever strength I have left in me, I desperately try and strangle her with the phone charger. Gurgling and grunting sounds escape Kate's mouth as she tries to maneuver herself out of my grasp. She frantically tries to escape but my surge of power isn't allowing it.

With one final attempt, Kate pushes backwards and sends us crashing through the railing overlooking the kitchen and living room down below. Tumbling down to the first floor, I land hard on my back with Kate right on top of me.

I could feel multiple bones shatter all over my body at the moment of impact. Stars and darkness cloud my vision as I try to collect myself. I don't know if I'll be able to recover from this and continue the fight. It feels like my entire body is frozen from the shock of the fall. I can't move, I can barely see, and I can hardly breathe. I'm so disoriented. I can feel my body trying to slip into unconsciousness but my innate need to survive won't allow it.

The cord once held firmly against Kate's neck is now thrown out of my reach as she peels her body off of me. The impact wasn't nearly as tough on Kate's body as it was for mine.

Now straddling my waist, Kate reaches in her back pocket and pulls out a switch blade.

"No... no, no, no, no" I exclaim in a panicked voice as I try and use my arms to push her off of me. It's no use though. The rest of me is too weak to fight back.

The inner part of my soul that desperately wants to survive this is screaming for me to do something. My body has given up though. My body has failed. I've failed. I've cheated death in a war zone, only to die at the hands of a mad woman.

Grinning now, Kate stares at me as she slowly runs the flat part of the knife across my cheek and says, "Such a beautiful face. So tough. So noble... but like I've always known, you'd never get out of here alive. I can see your body is done... Nothing left to give. You've failed Emily. You'll never see Alison again".

She's right. I have failed. I'm never going to see the love of my life again. The thought of this brings tears to my eyes.

"Awww does the reality of your uselessness and impending death frighten you? Is Emily Fields afraid to die" Kate asks.

"Well let's just get to it then why don't we" she says as she firmly grabs my neck with one hand, cutting off my air supply.  
Instinctively, my hands reach for her arm to try and free myself from her death grip.

"Eh not so fast Emily. I haven't quite decided how I'm going to kill you" Kate says as she throws the knife into my chest.

"Suffocation or stabbing till you bleed out" she continues.

I try to yell out in pain, but this time it sounds so jumbled and pathetic. She must have punctured my lung. The sharp pain I feel as I try and breathe is something I've never felt before. Surely my body can't take much more of this.

"AHHH yes! I've decided. Stabbing it is. The look on your face just brings me too much joy" Kate laughs demonically.

Gasping and practically paralyzed from my injuries, I try to prepare myself for the pain that's about to face me.

With every puncture and release of the knife from my flesh, I slip away more and more.

Suddenly I hear a sweet, familiar voice to the right of me saying, "It's okay Em. I know you tried your best. You can let go now. I love you".

Turning my head, I see Alison sitting on the floor next to me, smiling sweetly, and encouraging me to let go and release myself from the pain of it all.

"Ali I'm so sorry. I really tried. I love you" I whisper through my pathetic attempt to hang on. I'm ready to let go now. I'm ready to die.

Kate suddenly stops the endless onslaught and begins to laugh. "Oh my God, you seriously think she's here. You really are about to die... good. This last one should do the trick".

I turn my attention back to Kate and see her lifting the knife high above her head, aiming straight for my heart.

A loud noise suddenly floods my ears from the left. The sound of three gunshots follows only seconds later. The look on Kate's surprised face says it all. She's been shot. She's failed. She almost completed her mission to murder me. This realization floods her face with horror and anger as she collapses backwards off of me.

I turn my attention to the source of the sudden noise and see Jared and another man running towards me. The other man quickly moves Kate away from me and points his gun at her... making sure she doesn't make any sudden movements.

Jared pulls out his phone, dials 911, and says frantically, "Hello, yes... officer Reign, badge number 68452. I'm in a house in the Hamptons...4578 Westwind Drive... Two people injured. I need EMS here now! No. Wait. Bring the chopper. One of them won't make it if you just bring the ambulance".

"Here, Josh, keep talking to them. I've gotta help Emily" Jared says to the other man as he hands him the phone.

I'm so glad to see him. I don't know how he found me though.

"Hang on Emily. Help is on the way. Don't you die on me!" Jared says as I close my eyes.

Struggling for air, I open my eyes, look at him, and whisper, "I can't hold on... I'm dying. Please take care of Alison for me. Tell her I love her" before I close my eyes again and allow myself to slip away.


	33. Helplessness

Alison's POV

It's been almost a week since Emily broke my heart. The stable foundation I thought I had beneath my feet is now reduced to rubble. To make it even worse, Emily is now MIA without any clue as to when she will return. I've moved on from being consumed with sadness to now feeling confused, bummed, and angry at times.

As I stare expressionless at my work computer, my thoughts turn to Emily. This night has been more hectic than usual and I just wish I could go home to her, snuggle, and tell her about my night. That safety net and soft place to fall at the end of the day is now gone though. Was it ever real or was it all just a lie? You see it felt so real to me. How could it be anything else but love?

Suddenly a voice over the loud speaker says, "Helipad admission in 5 minutes and another admission via ambulance in less than 20 minutes".

"Great. Just when I thought we'd finally get a break" says Grace sarcastically from her work computer.

"Must be really bad if they're bringing them in on the chopper. I wonder who's gonna get that one" Ryan continues sarcastically as he points at me.

"You guys I'm so tired. I don't even care. We can share that one" I reply to the both of them. "I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get".

Jeff, the man in charge of the unit tonight, picks up the phone and calls the first responders on the chopper and the ambulance to obtain a more in depth status update on the patients.

Hanging up the phone, Jeff says, "Lisa, you've been assigned the patient in the ambulance. Multiple gunshot wounds. Pretty standard. Alison, you've got the patient on the chopper. They say this one is barely holding on. Book the OR now. You'll want to get Dr. Grayson on this one with you. He's the best chance we have at saving this one. Oh and Alison, this one is coming in under an alias. Don't want the media swarming this place".

"Of course Alison gets to work on a celebrity" Grace says with a heavy amount of jealousy in her voice.

Rolling my eyes, I reply, "Well how about you help me. You can even meet them on the helipad. I'll get the supplies, page Dr. Grayson, and tell the OR to prepare a room".

Jumping up excitedly, Grace grabs a resident and another nurse and heads for the helipad.

Within a few minutes, I'm all prepped for whatever is about to enter the ER. The familiar and addicting feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins begins to excite me as Ryan and I anxiously await the new admission to arrive through the elevator door.

The elevator door bursts open and all I can see is a ton of people working on whoever is on the stretcher as they wheel him or her in our direction. The resident is straddling the pt, presumably apply pressure on wounds as everyone else frantically discusses the status of the patient. That's when I see Grace. Her face is ghostly white as her eyes meet mine. They're filled with panic. This can't be good.

"Ryan, keep Alison back" she yells with authority as they all get closer.

Ryan gives me a bear hug without question, causing me to be unable to move underneath his embrace.

That's when I see Emily laying on the stretcher virtually lifeless, beaten up, and drenched in blood.

"Emily!" I yell desperately as I try and free myself from Ryan's hold on me.

Tears begin to stream down my face at the sight of her.

"Let me go! Please Ryan! I beg you! I need to see her" I plead as I continue to fight to free myself.

"No Ali! Not yet! I'll let you know when. I promise" Grace yells to me as she feverishly works to hook Emily up to the machines. The resident and the other nurse are quickly working to stop the endless amount of blood gushing from different wounds on her body when Dr. Grayson comes rushing in and takes over.

"What do we have here" he asks everyone collectively.

"That's my girlfriend! Please save her" I yell to him as I'm quickly falling apart in Ryan's arms.

His eyes widen and he replies, "I'm gonna do my best. Promise" before turning his attention back to Emily.

"Patient has a possible punctured lung, numerous broken bones, and multiple stab wounds. Still trying to count them all. Blood pressure 90/43, oxygen saturation levels 85, heart rate dropping Sir" the resident says nervously.

"Alright. I'll start the chest tube. You work on stabilizing the wounds. Grace, what's the neurological status" Dr. Grayson asks as he starts the chest tube.

"Lethargic, barely arrousable. I think her intracranial pressures are rising though." Grace replies as she assesses Emily.

"Someone get me Dr. Campbell. I need some neuro backup" he yells.

"Grace please! I need to see her" I beg helplessly. I can't take being away from her for another second.

"Fine. Only at the top of the bed. We need to work" she says as she makes room for me.

I break free and run to Emily.

"Em, baby, it's me Ali" I say as tears fall down my cheeks. "Can you open your eyes for me please" I beg as I take her limp hand and hold it against my cheek. Nothing. She does nothing. I'm losing her right in front of me.

"Emily please. I'm here. You're safe now. Come back to me" I continue as I begin to softly stroke the top of her head.

Emily's eyes flutter open ever so slowly and turn their focus on me. She looks like she's in so much pain. In this moment as she looks at me, it's just the two of us. No hospital. No frantic staff working around us. No pain. Just us in our own little world. A look of pure relief paints her face as she weakly smiles and says, "Ali".

"I'm right here baby. You're okay. Who did this to you" I ask feeling anger begin to boil within me.

"I..." she gulps as a surge of pain runs through her and causes a grimace to overcome her face.

Focusing again, she looks at me and I see the look in her eyes that sends chills down my spine every time I see it on a patient. It's a combination of emptiness and acceptance that glows in a patient's eyes right before they are about to die.

"I... love you" she whispers as she weakly squeezes my hand and then loses consciousness.

"No" I scream loudly. "Baby wake up! Stay with me! I love you too" I yell hoping she can hear me in some way.

Suddenly, the heart monitor goes off.

"We're losing her" Dr. Grayson yells as he begins to start chest compressions.

"Vfib sir. Time to shock" Grace says seconds later.

"No Emily please" I plead at the sight of her seemingly lifeless body in front of me. I've always been on the other side of this, running the code, and not being emotionally attached to the patient. Now I understand the horror that loved ones feel.

"Everyone get back" Dr. Grayson says as he prepares the shock pads on Emily's chest.

"Clear" he says right before the surge of electricity jolts through Emily's body, causing it to arch off the stretcher.

"Again" Dr. Grayson says.

Jolt after jolt, Emily's body lifts off the table and falls down lifeless.

"Where's my OR damnit" he yells to anyone that's listening. "Come on.. come on" he says before he shocks her one more time.

"Emily please don't die on me! I need you! I love you" I say before I kiss her lips.

"Normal rhythm" Grace announces as everyone sighs a huge sigh of relief.

"OR 3 is ready" Jeff yells to Dr. Grayson from the nurse's station. "Dr. Campbell is already scrubbing in" he continues.

"Okay let's go" Grace says as they start to wheel Emily towards the elevator that leads to the OR.

"I'm coming with you" I say as I start to walk with them.

Grace stops and says, "Ali, I love you, but no. You're not. You're too close to this. Stay here. I'll be back with updates".

"Fine" I say as I plop myself down on an empty stretcher and look at the aftermath of the effort it took to keep Emily alive. Right now, I feel nothing but helplessness. I can't lose Emily. I just can't.

The sound of a stretcher bursting through the door across the room catches my attention. There appears to be a woman on the stretcher, covered in blood stemming from multiple gunshot wounds. Right behind the team of people working on the patient, I see a familiar face. I can't quite place where I know it from though. The man looks at me and his eyes widen. He turns his attention away from the patient and walks over to me.

"I've met you before. I just can't remember where" I say as I wipe tears off of my cheeks.

"I'm Jared Reign. I met you and Emily on the street that one day" he replies hoping it will jog my memory.

"Oh yes! Now I remember. What are you doing here" I ask.

He takes a deep breath and sits me back down on the stretcher.

"I don't even know where to begin. To make a long story short, Emily contacted me not too long ago. There was someone that was stalking her, leaving her messages, making demands, and breaking into her apartment. She wanted to keep the situation off the books as to not anger the mysterious predator. I assembled a team of close buddies and we tried to investigate the situation. Alison, this person was ordering Emily to break up with you or she'd suffer unspecified consequences" Jared says looking me in the eyes.

"What?! What are you even saying? This is crazy! Why would she keep that from me? Who would do something like that to us? Why would they do that" I ask feeling highly confused.

"That's what we were trying to figure out" Jared continues.

I suddenly realize what he just said. Emily broke up with me because she was forced to. That means she must not have meant everything she said to me. Knowing Emily, she was forced into a corner and couldn't see any other way out. She broke my heart in order to protect me. The thought of this brings tears to my eyes again.

Continuing, Jared says, "So when I didn't hear from Emily for a few days, I took a buddy with me to go check on Emily at her apartment. We knocked on the door and no one answered. We persuaded the landlord to let us in and I saw that her phone was in her apartment. I decided to turn on the small GPS trackers I secretly placed on some of her various belongings. I know it sounds creepy, but I did it as an extra layer of protection for her. I didn't want her going off on her own and potentially getting hurt. We soon saw that the tracker placed in her travel bag pinged at a house on the beach in the Hamptons".

"Oh my God why didn't I think she'd be there" I reply as I smack my hand against my forehead.

"So we drove out there and when we reached the front door, we heard some odd noises and pained cries. So we burst through the front door and shot the person that was attacking Emily. Now they're both here. We haven't been able to identify the attacker" Jared says as he turns his attention to the new admission.

Standing up from the stretcher full of rage, I say, "Well I'm gonna see who the fuck did this to Emily. Maybe even beat the shit out of her".

"Hey. Don't do anything stupid" Jared says as he grabs my arm. "I know this is a lot to process and you've got a lot going on, but don't ruin your life over a choice in a heated moment".

"Fine. I won't. But I still want to see this person's face" I reply rolling my eyes.

I walk over to the area where they wheeled in the patient and pull back the curtain.

"You son of a bitch" I yell as I lunge at her.

Jared stops me and pulls me back while trying to calm me saying, "Hey. Shhh... stop. Do you know this woman?"

"Of course I know this bitch! This bitch tried to kill me! I've got a dozen scars to prove it" I yell as I fight to free myself so I can beat the shit out of Kate.

Ryan comes over and helps keep me under control. "Ali, breathe. I know you're furious, but you can't attack her".

"Oh I'm gonna do more than attack her! I'm gonna ki.." I scream angrily before Ryan covers my mouth with his hand.

"Ali you can't say that in front of a room full of cops, your coworkers, and patients" Ryan says close to my ear.

"Let them work on her. If she doesn't survive this, then you'll get your wish. If she does, she'll go to jail for the rest of her life" Jared adds in his attempt to help me find perspective.

"She can't survive this! She cheated the system and avoided jail time the last time. She almost killed me! She'll cheat the system again! Don't let them save her. She deserves to die after what she did to me and Emily" I reply furiously and desperately in a lower tone of voice.

"I hear you Ali. But all we can do is wait and see. Focus on Emily. What's the update on her?" Ryan asks me.

From behind us, Grace appears and says, "She's in the OR right now. Grayson, Campbell, Devaughn, and Wu are all working on her. She's a mess Ali, but they have the best of the best in there. They are all doing their part to repair and keep her alive. They told me to tell you to prepare for a long surgery. Can't say how long though. She'll be in the ICU afterwards. Room 326. You can wait for her there".

"Thank you Grace. I really mean that. But I have to see what happens to Kate. Then I'll wait for Emily" I reply as I turn my attention back towards the staff working to stabilize Kate.

God I hope Kate dies. That's the only way to ensure she'll be out of my life forever. I'd never have to look over my shoulder again.

Most of all though, I hope Emily pulls through this. I can't lose her. My life is incomplete without her.

"Baby, please... please come back to me... I need you. I need to see those beautiful eyes looking back at me." I can't seem to fight back my tears as I hold her soft, limp hands. No matter how much I will her to be mine once more, there's no movement, no reaction, just nothing.

It's been almost 4 months since my life... our lives changed forever. How much longer till Emily heals and opens those dark brown eyes again? How much longer till we can pick up where we left off? So much has happened to us. We've been apart for so long that it's painful. My heart aches for Emily. My heart longs for us to be together like we were before a monster came into our lives. My heart longs for so many things.

I've spent almost every waking moment by Emily's beside in order to ensure that I'd be the first face she saw when she came out of her coma. No matter how many times people suggest that I go home and get some rest, I always refuse. How could I possibly leave my other half alone just so I could get some rest? She's suffering so much and it's all because of me. She's been through hell for me. If that isn't love and the definition of sacrifice, I don't know what is. Sometimes, I wonder what good I have done in this world in order to deserve a woman like Emily. The times that I've left her side to work a 12 hour shift have felt like torture. I work the bare minimum to pay my bills and keep my employment status for medical benefits. Thankfully, I have a wonderful relationship with all of Emily's nurses who always text me with updates when I'm away from her bedside.

As I stand and look outside Emily's hospital room, I see the sun is about to set. I imagine the cool, gentle breeze on my skin just like the moment of pure bliss that I spent with Emily at the beachouse.

"Alison" says a familiar voice behind me.

"Oh hello Dr. Campbell. What can I do for you" I ask politely.

"I wanted to have a talk with you about Emily's status" he continues as we sit down. "Emily appears to be completely healed from her injuries except for the two biggest hurdles. We still don't know if she can feel and move her legs. We also don't know when or if she is going to come out of this coma. We keep doing challenge tests to see if she can function without the machines and we quickly realize she can't. Alison, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that she may never come back to you. She should be awake by now and she's not. I know this is very blunt of me, but you need to know all the correct information in order to make a decision".

"What decisions are you talking about" I ask while feeling like I'm in the verge of tears.

"Moving her to a long term facility mainly. We can't keep her here forever" he continues.

I feel anger begin to build within me as the words flow out of his mouth. "So you all are just giving up on her aren't you" I say as I lash out with anger, frustration, and desperation.

Sensing he'd said enough, he leaves the room and leaves me to my thoughts. I turn back around to watch the sunset turn the evening sky bright to now dark and somber. I begin to think that Emily really should be awake by now. He's right, she's not progressing as she should be at this stage on her recovery.

A knock at the door catches my attention. Turning around, I see an unfamiliar, older man carrying a briefcase at his side.

"Are you Alison", asks the older man.

"Yes, that's me" I reply uneasily. "You are?"

Clearing his throat, he extends his hand for a handshake and says, "I'm James Kingden. I'm here to give you something... ". Looking over to Emily, he continues, "from Emily".

Feeling confused, I ask, "What do you mean something from Emily? She's been in a coma for months now".

Pulling out a large envelope, he hands it to me and says, "I received this from Emily while she was at the beach house. She wanted me to work on a few things for her and so here they are".

I cautiously take the envelope and thank him.

"You're welcome my dear. My card is inside the envelope if you have any further questions for me" he replies as he gathers his suitcase and leaves me to open the envelope in privacy.

As I open the bulging envelope, I pull out the papers and begin reading. It's a handwritten note from Emily.

My sweet Alison,  
Sadly, if you're reading this right now, I'm probably dead or in a coma. That's why I had my lawyers set this up for me.  
As I sit here on the shoreline, in the exact spot we shared our first sunset together, I can't seem to keep you away from my thoughts and my heart. I know you're confused and angry with me so let me explain.  
Someone was after us. I tried to do my best to find this monster, but I've failed miserably. They are just too connected, too sophisticated, and too lethal. I failed you and that's what kills me the most. This monster threatened to kill you, Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Jared if I didn't break up with you. The God awful ways this person described how they could kill you all and frame me was purely sickening. So I had to leave you. I had to break your heart. It was the only way to keep us all alive. I'm so sorry I hurt you Alison. If this evil person hadn't entered our lives, we would still be in love and carrying on like we usually do. Alison, I never meant the awful, poisonous things I said to you. I do love you and that is why I had to do this. I know that I will never be able to forgive myself. I know that I will never love again. I just hope one day you will move on and find someone that can love and protect you.

With All My Love,  
Emily

Tears fall from my cheeks and onto the paper, causing the ink to spread. I feel awful for Emily. I can't imagine the pain and the burden she carried through all of this. She loved me enough to give me up and keep me safe.

Roaming through the rest of the papers in envelope, I gasp when I realize what they detail. Emily changed her will and gave me half of her wealth and the deed to her apartment. The other 10 million is to be split evenly among Aria, Spencer, Hanna, and Jared.

"10 million dollars" I say loudly.

"Oh Emily, baby this is too much" I say taking her hand as I continue reading the legal documents.

The final document names me as her medical power of attorney. I get to decide when to stop treatment, where to treat her, everything. It feels like such a responsibility but I feel so blessed and honored that Emily trusts me enough to take care of her when she can't make decisions for herself. This all just feels like too much to handle. It's overwhelming and I'm feeling anxiety boil inside me.

I can't think too much about this tonight. I'm far too exhausted to think about the next steps for Emily.

"Baby please wake up. Every second that I can't kiss you, hold you, or see your smiling face, I feel like I'm dying a little more inside" I say to Emily as I begin to cry tears of desperation. Feeling the need to be closer to her, I crawl into the hospital bed with Em. I curl up on her chest and listen to her heartbeat just like I used to do when we were happy and in love. A smile forms as I close my eyes and hear slow and steady beats. They remind me of the many times we used to fall asleep in each other's arms, perfectly content and at peace.

In that pure moment, I could feel her love for me. I could feel her fighting her way back to me. Her heart was beating for me. I just know it. Placing my hand over her heart, I say in a soft tone, "Emily, prove them wrong. Prove to them that you will escape the clutches of this coma and fight your way to recovery. You've overcome so many hurdles already. You can do this. I believe in you and I believe in us. No mind of man, no circumstance, no force against us can keep us apart. What we have is something everlasting, timeless, and unbreakable. Emily I'm done searching. I know with every fiber of my being that you are the one for me. I've found the other half of my heart in you. I'm never going to stop loving you".

I slept through the night while snuggled up to Emily. I think that's the first full night's sleep I've had in months.

The warm, bright morning sun through the window gently wakes me from my slumber. I kept my eyes closed, savoring the sound of Emily's rhythmic heart beat.

Suddenly, I feel gentle, small circles forming a track on my hand. The simple gesture brings a smile to my face. Thanks when it hits me.

I quickly sit up in bed and turn my attention to Emily. She's still stiff as stone.

Did I just imagine that? I must have been dreaming because when I look at her now, she's so still.

"Em? Baby... did you just do that" I ask desperately while taking her hand in mine.

"Emily, we're so close. Just please, give me another sign that you're waking up." I stare desperately at her motionless body, just aching for something to happen.

Nothing...

I begin to feel tears build up in my eyes as I helplessly bury my face into Emily's hospital bed and allow my tears to soak the sheets. A initial small cry quickly transforms into a blubbering, hysterical cry. I haven't cried like this since Emily was wheeled into my ER, virtually half dead. Maybe I've been holding it all in, just trying to be strong. But I don't think I can hold on like this for much longer. I need Emily in my life. I've lost all purpose and focus without her.

"Emily, I beg you...if you can hear me... please give me a sign" I say still crying with my head down on the bed, holding onto her hand.

Motionless...

I begin to sob even harder and start to hyperventilate as I allow all of my pent up emotions flow through me.

She's never going to wake up. I've lost her. I know that I should have patience, but I don't know if I can do this for much longer before I fall apart. "God why would you allow me to be in so much pain again" I ask aloud.

That's when it happens... gentle, small tracks forming on my hand.

I lift my head off the bed, completely in shock. As I look down at my hand, I see Emily's finger slowly forming circles on my skin.

"Abby" I yell as loud as I can.

Tearing into the room with a terrified look on her face, Abby says, "What's wrong Alison"?

"Look!" I say excitedly while gesturing towards my hand.

"I'll page Dr. Campbell" she replies while running out of the room.

Placing my hand on her cheek, I continue, "Baby the doctor is coming. Keep trying to come back to me. I can feel it. You're so close. Show me those beautiful eyes".

Emily continues to rub my hand until she suddenly stops.

"No, no, no! Stay with me Em" I yell as I feel her slipping away from me.

"What's happening" Dr. Campbell asks as he approaches Emily's bedside.

"She was slowly rubbing my hand...I know I wasn't imagining it... she was coming back to me" I reply looking helpless.

"Okay, Abby, let's run the tests again. Let me assess her Alison. Can you step outside for a moment" he asks politely .

"With all due respect, you know me better than that. I'm not leaving" I reply as I firmly plant myself by her side.

Sighing heavily, he replies, "Fine. Just let me assess her. Please don't get your hopes up".

"Emily. I'm Doctor Campbell. Can you hear me? Can you squeeze my hand" he asks taking her other hand.

Nothing...

Slowly taking out the tube from her airway, Dr. Campbell closely monitors her vitals signs and gives me a thumbs up.

Taking out his pen light, he shines it in Emily's eyes and mumbles something under his breath. Now taking his fine point pen, he pokes the bottom of her foot and other random spots on her body, trying to induce a reaction out of her.

"Hmm... well I think she's waking up. It could take a bit of time, but she's showing signs of improving. She can breathe on her own and she had slight reactions to various stimuli. I'm going to stay on the unit for awhile. Keep me posted if you can manage to coax her out of the coma" Dr. Campbell says before he leaves the room.

Softly petting the top of her head and brushing the hair out of her face, I say in a soothing tone, "It's just us now Em. Come on. You can do this. I love you so much. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me".

Before I could finish the sentence, three of her fingers slowly closed around my hand.

The tears falling down my cheeks were no longer those of sadness. Pure unadulterated joy fueled these new tears.

What can I do to get her to open her eyes, better yet talk to me? There has to be something. I ponder the circumstance for a moment until I conjur up the only thing that I think could work.

Leaning in, just inches from her lips, I whisper, "Emily, I love you. Come back to me baby" before I gently kiss her lips.

This is the first time I've kissed the love of my life on the lips in months. The feeling of her lips against mine brings back countless irreplaceable memories.

Pulling away, I open my eyes and see her slowly fluttering her eyes... trying but failing to adjust to the light.

Emily begins to softly mumble and then clear as day says, "Ali?"

"Yes Em it's me! I'm right here" I say excitedly as I cup her face in my hands. "Keep following my voice. I know these lights are bright. Let me dim them so you can try again" I continue as I head to the doorway and dim the lights. Rushing back to her side, I say, "I dimmed the lights for you. Try again Emily".

Seconds later, Emily begins to cautiously open her eyes ever so slightly as she becomes more accustomed to the flood of stimuli.

"You did such a good job" I say encouragingly as she fully opens her eyes.

Emily slowly turns her head towards the direction of my voice and looks me in the eyes.

"Oh Emily you have no idea how long I've been waiting to see those beautiful brown eyes" I say while gently cupping her face and kissing the top of her hand.

"I've missed you so much Emily" I continue as tears fall down the tracks of my face.

I see tears begin to well up in her eyes as she studies my face without saying a word. Taking a deep breath, Emily begins to say something but stops short when a pained look overcomes her face.

"Shh, babe try not to talk too much. You've had a tube down your throat for a long time now. I can't imagine how much that hurts" I say as I wipe tears off of her cheeks.

Knowing Emily the way that I do, she'll try and talk to me regardless of other suggestions. She's just spunky and independent like that.

Grunting, Emily slowly says with a heavy amount of hoarseness in her voice, "I... love... you".

"I love you too Em" I say leaning in to give her a quick peck.

As soon as I begin to pull away, Emily let's out a faint whimper as if she didn't want me to end the kiss. Only Emily, fresh out of a coma, would be unhappy about the duration of a kiss.

I press the call light near Emily's bed and within another 30 seconds, Abby and Dr. Campbell come hurrying in to see Emily.

With a pleasant smile, Dr. Campbell says, "Well hello there young lady. Glad to see you awake". Stepping closer to the bed he says, "Emily, I'm Dr. Campbell. I've been taking care of you. Do you mind if I assess you really quick? You don't have to talk. The tubing in your throat all this time probably doesn't feel too good. I want you to rest your voice."

Dr. Campbell maneuvers through his usual assessment while nodding, taking notes, and mumbling to himself. There is one thing left on his assessment and I can tell he's dreading it as much as I am.

Looking to me, then back at Emily, he says, "Now Emily, I know you just woke up and you're still getting used to your surroundings and the sensations you're feeling... But I have to ask... can you feel and move your legs for me?"

Emily gives him a look like he just asked a ridiculous question. Then she turns her focus on her legs and what happens next simply broke my heart.

Emily began to tense her body in an attempt to move her legs. A look of pure panic and desperation overcame her face as she frantically tried and failed to move her legs.

"I.. I..." she says looking at me, begging me to help her... before bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

"I'll calm her down" I say to Dr. Campbell and Abby as I gesture them to leave and close the door behind them.

Turning my focus back to Emily, I see her falling a part before my very eyes as she continues to sob with her hands covering her face.

I crawl into bed with her and pull her close to my chest. Holding her tight as she continues her ugly cry, I say lovingly, "Come here... shhh... I know you're terrified right now, but I'm right here. Go ahead... fall a part if you want to. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you Emily. We're going to get through this together".


	34. Road

Alison's POV

I held Emily as she sobbed until she eventually found relief in slumber. My poor Emily. She simply cried herself to sleep. As I listened to her sobs, I walked through a journey with her that began as shock and fear to one of processing and a release of pent up emotions. I could feel her pain from breaking my heart, from the physical and psychological torment from the wrath of Kate, and from the realization that she couldn't feel or move her legs.

We have so much to talk about. So many things need to be cleared up between us. But I know that I need to be patient and take things one day at a time. I need to function on Emily's time because in all honesty, all I want is to make her happy. I've given all of myself to what's best for her and I wouldn't change it for anything in this world.

As I close my eyes and listen to Emily's slow, heavy breathing, I think about what will happen next. Will we transfer her to a rehabilitation facility? Will we go back to her place, my place, or a new, more accessible place while we plan the next step in her treatment? What kind of long term deficits will she face? What will the road ahead look like for our future together? My mind wanders and ponders all of these questions until a gentle, "Ali" brings me right back.

Emily moved her arm from gently resting over my stomach to intertwining our fingers and lovingly squeezing my hand.

"Yea babe. What's on your mind?" I say reciprocating her loving touch.

She pauses for a moment before asking in a raspy voice, "How long was I in a coma? It felt like months".

"That's because it was... 4 months..." I say reflecting in the seemingly endless time I've spent here.

"What are the chances that I'll regain feeling and mobility" she asks as I feel her physically prepare herself for my response.

Taking a deep breath I reply, "Well they don't believe that there was actual nerve damage from the stab wounds. In their opinion, it's inflammation that's causing what you're experiencing".

"Sooo... that's good news I gather" she replies hesitantly.

"Yes. It is" I reply as I kiss the top of her head.

"What is your opinion about it" Emily asks.

"Well I think now that you are awake, you can begin rehab and work to regain your strength. It will take time, patience, and healing for you to regain mobility and feeling. Now how long that will take... I don't know" I reply honestly. "One thing I do know for sure... you're stuck with me Emily Fields... I'm not going anywhere".

Emily lifts her head off of my chest and looks at me with so much pain, uncertainty, and love in her eyes. "Even after all that I've done to you? Even after I failed you... us really" she asks with a pained voice as she looks away ashamed.

"Emily look at me... I know that we have a lot to talk about. And that will come with time. Your health is the main priority right now. But I want... no, need you to believe me when I say that I love you. I want you to lean on me. I want to be and give you everything you need. Do you understand that?"

Emily's eyes begin to water in response to these words. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you. You know that I love you right?"

Softly placing my hand on her cheek, I whisper inches from her lips, "I do. And I love you too" before I kiss her.

Pulling away, I see her eyes are still closed with a smile across her lips, clearly savoring the kiss. "I never thought I'd get to feel your lips against mine again. I thought I'd lost you forever" she says finally opening her eyes.

"Our story is far from over Emily. We're just beginning" I smile before kissing her again.

After a week, Emily is finally being discharged from the hospital with a referral for physical and occupational therapy 3 times a week. She's still trying to get used to being in a wheelchair and I can see the pain and embarrassment in her eyes. I know she views herself as a cripple and a burden to me. After much deliberation, Emily finally gave in and is allowing me to move in with her while she recovers. Not like I was going to take no for an answer.

"Ready to go" I ask as she gets situated in the wheelchair.

"Yup. Got everything" she said while holding a duffle bag in her lap.

Wheeling her out of the hospital room door, we stop suddenly and gasp in unison.

Before us in a large crowd stood every single doctor, nurse, tech, and therapist that was a member of Emily's team. They all began clapping as soon as they saw us. Emily and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes as we seemed to finally realize how far we'd come.

"I have nothing but the deepest appreciation for every single one of you that saved my life and never gave up on me. Words will never be enough" Emily says to everyone as she wipes tears from her cheeks.

Stepping forward, Dr. Grayson says, "You are very welcome Emily. We are all family now and will continue to want nothing but the best for you. Sure we may have stitched you back together, but the real magic of this story is because of the woman standing behind you. She never gave up on you. She stood by your side no matter what. Alison is the true healer here".

Taking my hand, Emily looks up at me and replies, "I know that. Even though I was trapped in that coma and couldn't respond, I heard almost everything she said to me. Baby your love saved me. I'm forever in debt to you".

After kissing the top of her hand, I smile and reply, "I'd do it all over again".

Thankfully, Emily's apartment has elevator access for us to use until Emily can walk again. As I wheel her down the hall towards her apartment door, I can see Emily's body tensing up. Once we're close to the door, Emily says, "Wait...please".

Stepping around the wheelchair to look Emily in the eyes, I ask, "Em, what's wrong? Are you worried about a surprise party or something? Cause you don't have to worry about that. The girls decided to give us some space until you wanted them to come over".

Emily continues to stare at the doorknob until she finally replies, "I broke us in there. I was in such a bad place the last time I was in there. It all just feels... tainted".

My heart aches as I hear these words and see how burdened she still is by all of the awful things that have happened. Squatting down to her level, I plead, "Emily look at me. I hear what you're saying to me and your feelings are certainly valid, but I want you to look at this place in a different light". Taking her hands now, I continue, "Emily this is where we've shared countless special moments together. We've shared thousands of kisses in this doorway. We've cried tears of joy, laughter, and sadness on that couch. You told me that you loved me within those walls. We made love for the first time in that bed. You and I blossomed in that apartment. We've built something together Emily. What we have is real. Nothing can ruin the love that we have. Absolutely nothing. Our love story developed just behind that door...That's where our love story will continue".

Emily's POV

I don't remember much about what happened from the time I lost consciousness after Jared saved me in the beach house. The only thing I remember was struggling to tell Alison that I love her. In that moment, I felt like I was about to die. I was coming to terms with my circumstance. I saw her beautiful face once more and I was able to express my feelings for Alison. If it was my time to go, then I honestly thought that I could die with peace in my heart.

Waking up from the coma was incredibly relieving though. That being said though, day by day, I grew even more frustrated that I couldn't seem to free myself from it's clutches. I was trapped in my own body. I could hear everything going on around me but I could never respond. Having to listen to Alison struggle was what pained me the most. Every time she cried, prayed for me to survive, or begged me to wake up, all I wanted to do was open my eyes and tell her that everything was going to be fine.

The night she crawled into bed with me and fell asleep in my arms, I hoped and prayed that she could feel me desperately fighting my way back to her. I believe that night was a turning point in my fight back to Alison.

As my eyes are glued to the beautiful blues gazing back at me lovingly while trying to help me gain perspective, I can't seem to shake what I'm feeling in the deepest crevices of my heart.

Pain... Regret...Hesitancy... Fear... Love...

The culmination of emotions and thoughts brewing within me are causing me to question so many aspects of my life.

I love Alison more than anything. In turn, I am deeply ashamed at how horribly I failed her and broke her heart. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself even if she's forgiven me. I want nothing more than to get back to where we were before the devil entered our lives. But I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm a burden to her right now. I mean I'm a cripple. I'm completely dependent on help right now. My heart and my body need Alison to help me get through this time of uncertainty and changes. My pride on the other hand wants to shut her out. My pride and sense of shame over my actions and failures cripple my spirit. Even though I'm not in the angry stage of coping, I know it will come. Taking my anger and frustration out on Alison is the absolute last thing I want to happen. She's done nothing wrong and has already sacrificed so much for me all in the name of love.

Love. Can it really be magic? Can it really be the ultimate cure? I want to believe so, but pride, shame, guilt, and insecurities are also powerful, deafening voices.

As I stand here...no sit here... looking out the window, I can feel Alison's hesitancy in her gait as she fiddles around the apartment. I can feel how unsure she is about what to say or do next. Our once fluid and effortless communication now feels like shattered glass on the floor. I hate this. We're different now. I have no one to blame but myself. I did this and now I have to suffer the repercussions of my choices.

"Em" Alison asks suddenly from the sofa.

Still gazing out the window, I reply, "Yes Ali"?

"Do you want to take a bath? You know, shower off the hospital" she asks sweetly.

I pause for a moment to fully analyze the proposed situtation. It's such a simple question... if you have fully functioning limbs. I don't. I can't just step into the shower like I've done for so many years. I'm a cripple. I'm a burden. She'll have to pick me up, place me in the tub, and bathe me like a small child. That's humiliating even if she'd never intend it to be. Alison's heart is too pure, too kind, too gentle to ever mean to hurt me. The entire thought process brings tears to my eyes causes me to cry loudly in my wheelchair.

Rushing over to me, Alison falls to her knees and takes my hands away from my attempt to cover my face. "Emily, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry! I just thought you'd like to feel clean and get comfy. I never meant to upset you. I'm so, so sorry" she says now fighting back her own tears.

Before I realize it, my arms link around Alison's neck in search for further comfort. "I know Ali. I just can't function like I used to before this happened. I think the realization is just hitting me again. I feel so helpless. I feel like such a child... needing help bathing for God's sakes".

Cupping my cheek now, Ali looks at me, smiles sweetly and replies, "Oh babe, I know this is a huge adjustment for you. But all I'm going to do is help you in and out of the tub. Emily you're going to bathe yourself. There's no reason why with the a big ole cup and everything you usually bathe with that you can't do it all yourself. In this time of change, it's important for you to maintain as much independence as possible".

"Really" I ask meekly while sniffling.

"Of course" Ali replies standing up and walking towards the bedroom.

"Don't think just because I'm your girlfriend and a nurse that you'll be able to sucker me into babying you" Ali winks at me.

"I'll support you emotionally and physically when you absolutely can't do something, but that's it babe" she continues smirking at me.

My girl sure knows how to put a smile on my face. "Let's take that bath" I smile while wheeling myself towards the bathroom.

"Good. Then shall we order some food" Alison asks nonchalantly while drawing the bath.

"Sure. Surprise me" I reply while taking my top off, exposing my bare chest.

Turning around Alison continues, "Alright. I'll order it in a bit... Oh...". Her eyes widen and she raises her eyebrows as soon as she realizes I'm topless.

"Didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to gawk at people" I sarcastically quip.

Leaning down, gliding her hands on the wheelchair arms, causing me to sit back in the chair, Alison stops just inches from my face. Biting her lip, she leans in even more and replies in a husky voice, "Forgive me... But the mere sight of you topless is making me feel.. well... a certain way if you know what I mean".

I can't help but smile at her ridiculousness before I slink my hand behind her neck and pull her closer, crashing our lips together, and kissing her passionately.

Finally pulling away, Alison smiles, slowly opens her eyes, and responds, "I've missed you so much. It means the world to me to have you back in my life".

Lovingly brushing her hair behind her ears I reply, "Well, just like you said, I'm stuck with you. And guess what, you're stuck with me baby. So I guess you better get used to more kisses like those".

Alison was right. Doing things for myself definitely helped me feel in control to a certain degree. For the rest of the night, Alison and I ate Thai food and watched television. When we realized that it was getting late, we decided to head to bed for the night.

Alison picked me up bridal style and gently placed me under the covers. Crawling into bed next to me, she immediately scooted her body close to mine. Laying her head on my chest and wrapping her arm around my torso, she asks, "Hope you don't mind. I just really want to feel close to you".

Kissing the top of her head, I reply, "I wouldn't have it any other way".

We've been deprived of far too many nights like this. I want and need to feel her close to me. I want us to get back to the way we were before everything changed.

After a few minutes in silence while running my fingers through her hair, I break the silence. "I'm sorry that I kept Kate's psychological torture from you. I'm sorry that I broke us. I'm sorry I made you cry and made you think that I didn't love you. I honestly tried everything I could think of to protect you and rid our lives of the threat that loomed over us. But I failed and I'm truly sorry. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to defeat her and not become a cripple and a burden".

Alison continued to rest her head on my chest as she replies, "Emily, you are not such thing. But I'm not going to lie to you. You did break me in a way that no one else has before. My heart ached when you said those things to me. I was so confused, hurt, and angry. I just didn't understand it all. I thought I was played for a fool. You were my everything and I simply couldn't bare you seemingly throwing me away like that".

I suddenly feel my shirt dampen as Ali begins to cry. "But that moment I saw you on the verge of death on that stretcher, my heart broke. I couldn't stand seeing you like that. Even though I was angry and confused, I never stopped loving you Emily. The moment you told me that you loved me, I believed it. I just knew in my heart that something terrible had happened and you didn't really mean the hurtful things you said before. When they wheeled you away to the OR, I obviously wanted to know what happened to you. Then Jared came in and explained as much as he could to me."

Pausing now, Alison takes a deep breath and continues, "Then I realized it was that bitch that did this to you... to us really. Emily I wanted her dead. I was in such a fit of rage that I was seriously going to kill her. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her bleeding out on that stretcher. I actually prayed that she'd die. That way I would never have to worry about looking over my shoulder and wondering if she was lurking in the shadows. If she died, I could officially move on with my life. Yet I could only do that if you pulled through. I'd really never be able to move on if you died. I'd lose all focus, all purpose, all meaning in my life. I know it sounds wrong, but when they pronounced Kate's time of death, I couldn't help but smile. I was free. We were free. That chapter of my life was finally finished and it made me happy to see her dead. That also meant that I could give everything of myself to your recovery if you in fact pulled through".

Wrapping my arms around her even tighter, I continue, "I think it's completely understandable to feel free and even happy when someone that has hurt you so deeply is no longer a threat in your life. That doesn't make you a bad person Ali. I could tell you were going through so much while I was in a coma. I could hear the pain and desperation in your voice. I could tell day by day that you were becoming more and more exhausted. Yet you never left my side unless you had to work. Even then, it sounded torturous for you. Ali I'll never be able to thank you enough for sticking by me even after I hurt you".

Alison picks her head up off my chest and looks up at me. "I know I already told you this, but I feel like I need to reiterate it. Emily I'm in this long term. I want us to return to the way things were. I want to continue growing and experiencing all of the wonderful things life has to offer us. I want to help you through this. I want to be here when you walk again. I want this Em. I want us now more than ever".

Overcome with emotions, I forcefully pull her in and crash our lips together. The kiss we share feels different from the ones we've shared since I woke up. It feels raw and pure. We were perfectly content with being honest and vulnerable in that moment together. That kiss renewed a belief in my heart. We need each other. We're better together than we ever were apart.


	35. Rehabilitation

Rehabilitation

Emily's POV

"You ready for your appointment" Alison asks while mindlessly twisting, curling, and pinning her golden locks into an effortless updo. She looks so beautiful like this...preparing for work and ready to step into her element.

"Earth to Emily" Alison giggles as she waves her hands at me, trying to catch my attention.

"Oops, sorry babe" I reply feeling a little flushed all of the sudden.

Sitting down on my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck, causing blue to become one with brown in a loving gaze.

"Did I just catch my girlfriend thinking dirty thoughts" she asks while playfully biting her lip.

"Dirty thoughts? Yes. Now whether they're about you? I can't confirm or deny" I reply trying to keep a straight face.

Leaning back with surprise plastered across her face, Alison gasps semi playfully and angrily.

"Well fine, be that way" she snips as she starts to get off my lap.

Forcefully pulling her waist towards me, I plop her back down on my lap.

In a husky voice, I hungrily reply in her ear, "You... my dear... will be mine again one day. Your body will be mine. I plan on making you feel pleasure like you've never felt before. The things I'm going to do to you... mmm".

Alison's breath hitched in response to my heated promise as she stared off into space, seemingly dreaming about the thought of us reuniting in our bed after so many months apart.

"I... I... uh..." Alison finally stutters.

"That's what I thought baby" I declare victoriously while squeezing her butt and kissing her lips, tugging at her bottom lip.

The sound of a knock and the opening of the apartment door interrupts the spell I've cast upon Alison.

"Knock, knock! Em you ready for your physical therapy" Hanna asks excitedly as she files into the apartment with Spencer and Aria following behind her.

"Oh I think we've interrupted something" Spencer declares with widened eyes at the sight of us.

"Nothing that can't be continued later" I wink at Ali.

"You guys are the definition of couple goals" Aria exclaims gazing at us with a look of admiration and a hint of jealousy.

"Alright you horn dogs. Break it up. Em's gotta go and Ali has work." Hanna interrupts gesturing towards the door.

Alison gets up, walks over to the girls, and says, "Promise me you'll take good care of her. You know I hate that I have to miss this".

Spencer flashes a sweet smile and steps forward, gently rubbing the side of Alison's arms. "Of course we will. We're all excited to spend the day with Em".

"I hate to ruin this sweet moment here, but we've gotta roll... well at least I do" I reply as I wheel myself closer to them.

Alison turns around and bends down so our eyes meet. Playfully patting the side of my cheek, she smiles and replies, "Don't make jokes like that. I don't need my girl becoming complacent".

"I'm sorry. I'm a bad girl" I reply jutting out my bottom lip.

"In more ways than one" Alison giggles before leaning in to me. "I love you... I'll see you tonight" she whispers before kissing me.

"I love you more" I whisper after reluctantly pulling away from her lips.

As I roll my way to the door, I boldly add, "You're gonna get it tonight".

Opening the door, Aria asks with a furrowed brow, "How is that even gonna be a thing?"

Laughing loudly, Hanna replies pointing at me, "With this horn dog? Anything is possible. She'll find a way for them to do it like a couple of rabbits".

Before long, we arrive at my appointment where I eagerly begin my therapy session with Devon, my main physical therapist.

"You know Devon, I really need to get these two stubborn legs of mine to work again. I've got big plans and a lady to please if you know what I mean" I joke as I work through a core strengthening exercise.

"Girl you're so nasty" he exclaims while laughing. "But I love it... Don't worry. I'll make sure we work your ass off and get you back to your old self. By the way, lemme see a picture of this lady of yours".

I take a break for a moment to catch my breath and wheel myself over to my bag to retrieve my phone.

"Here. Isn't she something" I proudly ask.

"Well hot damn Emily! Now I understand why you're so horny. You've got yourself a damn dime right there" he shouts flamboyantly.

"You bet your ass I do. But seriously though. She's an even more incredible woman on the inside" I reply while fondly flipping through pictures of us on my phone.

When my session was finished, I came away from it feeling stronger and even more determined to continue. I want my legs back. I want to dance with my girl. I want to get down on one knee one day and propose to her.

"One day baby.. or day" I whisper to myself as I roll myself towards the waiting room.

"Hey Em, how'd it go" Aria asks as I enter the room.

"Really well! I'm exhausted but I feel good. I had an idea while I was in there ladies. You up for helping me? It's going to be a lot of work" I ask giving them the biggest doe eyes I could muster.

Spencer's eyes narrow and then widen as a virtual light bulb appears above her head. "Shouldn't you ask her that before we undertake that task" she asks.

"Wait. I'm lost here. Are you two communicating again without talking" Hanna asks crossing her arms over her torso.

"God I hate when you two do that. It's like a special power" Aria replies sounding slightly peeved.

"What?! I'm just able to read a situation guys. It's not that hard" Spencer snaps back defensively.

"Guys, guys. She's perceptive. She just figured out that I want Alison to move in with me. Not just till I recover. I want her to move in permanently" I reply while smiling at the thought.

"Aww oh my God that's so great Em" Aria exclaims clapping her hands like an excited, small child.

"I agree Emily. You should ask Alison about this first" Hanna adds while rubbing my shoulder.

"Well I have a cute idea. But I need my little buddy to help me out" I smirk. "I hope she'll like it and say yes".

It's a little past 7 pm and Alison just got off work. She'll be home within the hour and I'm finishing up last minute touches.

The spinach tortellini casserole is warming in the oven and the surprise is prepped and ready as soon as Alison arrives. In my mind, this is already our home. I just hope she'll soon call this place home too.

A smile lights up my face as I hear my baby walking down the hallway. After knowing Alison for some time now, I've become accustomed to recognizing her freakishly soft footsteps.

"It's showtime buddy" I say as I position myself to face the doorway.

"Babe, holy crap it smells amazing in here" Alison exclaims as she finally appears in the doorway after struggling to open the door.

"Go" I whisper softly as she turns her back as she locks up the door.

"Oh my gosh hi baby" Alison squeals in delight as she sees Moose scampering towards her.

Bending down with a huge smile across her face, she says, "I have missed you so much! I know I've been a bad mommy but I promise I'll do better from now on" as she begins to smother him with kisses.

"Wait... What's this?... What do we have here" she asks as she notices the key attached to his collar.

"Em" Alison asks sounding confused.

"Bring him here" I reply as I open my arms for her to hand him to me.

After gently removing the key, I gently place him down on the floor and continue, "Good boy. Now scurry off. I have an important question to ask".

"Emily, I'm confused" Alison replies with the same confused look on her face.

"Sit" I gesture as I gently tap my lap.

"Okay.." Alison replies hesitantly as she slowly sits down on my lap.

"You see this right here" I ask holding the key.

"Babe. It's a key" she replies with a slight chuckle.

"Yes. But it's not just any old key" I reply as I begin to feel my nerves creeping up my chest.

"Go on" Alison replies now sounding intrigued.

"It's your key to this apartment" I say with a huge smile.

"Em, I love you, but you've totally lost me. I already have a key to the apartment while I'm here till you recover" Alison states now sounding confused again.

"Yes, that may be the case, but that's not what I'm getting at here" I reply as I begin to laugh a little.

Now looking deeply into her captivating eyes, I take a deep breath and say, "What I'm trying to say is...When I look around, I no longer see it as my dining room table, my sofa, my bed. It's our table, our sofa...our bed. In my mind, this is our home. Yes, I know we arranged for you to stay here until I recover. But... I want to take this step in our relationship. I'm so ready for this and I hope you are too. Ali, I love you. I want to continue to grow here with you".

Pausing and lifting up the key level with her face, I ask, "Will you move in with me?... Permanently".

Her beautiful blues suddenly become a watery ocean in reaction to my question.

God please say yes! Please be happy tears!

"Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes" she replies excitedly as she grabs the key out of my hand and forcefully kisses my lips.

All of the nerves I felt brewing inside me instantly transformed into a mass of hundreds of beautiful, flapping butterflies as soon as that pivotal word escaped her lips. Even after all that we've been through, I'm still amazed at what this woman does to me. She fills my heart with love, joy, and happiness like none other. And guess what? She's all mine and I'm all hers.

It's been two months since Alison officially moved in. This time together has felt right. We're back to the way we were before everything was turned upside down.

The police officially closed the investigation into Kate's stalking and attack at the beach house. They gathered every piece of evidence possible and detailed an in depth time line for Alison and me in order to fully understand the situation we went through.

Now that this aspect of my life has come to a close, I feel like I can leave it behind me and focus on what's good in my life and all that is yet to come. The media has been hounding me to do an interview about the entire ordeal.

Alison thinks I should grant one media outlet a single sit down interview and ask that they donate what they would have paid me to a charity of my choice. I tend to agree with her yet still feel like I'm not ready to talk about it in camera. Call me selfish and self absorbed, but I'd also like to be able to walk when I give the interview. I don't want to be stuck in this damn chair. I don't want to look pitiful. I don't want anyone's damn pity.

Alison's refusal to coddle me or feel sorry for me in a smothering sense has helped me maintain a certain level of independence and confidence in myself. She's only helped me when it's physically impossible for me to do something and has been a supportive ear when I need to talk about what I'm thinking and feeling. She kept her promise and I can't thank her enough for that.

Day by day, I'm getting stronger emotionally and physically. I attend physical therapy now 4 times a week. I want to keep working hard and get my legs back. Usually Spencer, Aria, and Hanna take me when Alison can't due to work.

Today, Alison is taking me to my appointment and we're meeting the girls afterwards for lunch. Hurriedly rolling through the door, excited to get to work, I greet everyone in the office.

"Hey Devon, you ready to get to work" I ask excitedly.

Rolling his eyes at me, he chuckles and says, "I'm supposed to be asking you that".

"Ohhhhh look who came today " he adds as he runs over to hug Alison.

"Hi friend! She isn't giving you too much trouble already is she" Alison asks after their embrace.

"Girl she's always a piece of work" Devon jokes while playfully slapping my arm.

Bending down for a kiss, Alison quickly pecks my lips, pulls away slightly, and says, "Behave yourself. Work hard. I'll be in the waiting room if you need me. I love you".

Once she leaves the room, Devon suddenly turns to me and says, "Emily... When are you gonna wife her up? When are you gonna put a damn ring on that finger? Hm? Cause I'd really like to know what the fuck is taking you so long".

Taken back by his blunt words, I paused and thought for a moment. Looking up at him, I reply while feeling a lump develop in my throat, "When I can actually get on one knee. I... I want to do it right. She deserves it. She deserves a perfect proposal".

"But she'd love it no matter when, where, or how you did it. She loves you exactly the way you are Emily. At least start looking for rings" Devon replies while patting my shoulder.

Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm putting too much thought into it. I know Alison loves me for me and has continued to love me through this. The next appointment that Alison can't take me, I'll go ring shopping with the girls.

Sweating and panting after an especially challenging therapy session, I slowly wheel myself towards the lobby to meet Spencer, Hanna, and Aria. Today's the day I'm going to take them ring shopping with me. I hope they will be excited and supportive of my decision.

"Damn Em you look exhausted" Hanna says worriedly while standing up from the chair.

"Yea Em do you need some water or something " Aria asks while rubbing my arm.

"Here. Drink up" Spencer says after handing me a water bottle from her purse.

Twisting the cap back on the bottle, I pause for a moment while fumbling with my fingers.

"What's wrong Em" Spencer asks with a quizzical look on her face.

"Um... so... guys. I want to tell you something. And I want to know what you think about it" I fumble nervously.

"Spit it out. You're freaking me out" Hanna replies trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.

"I... I want to go ring shopping today" I reply quickly while hesitantly looking up at them.

Ear piercing screams flood the waiting room and cause me to jump in surprise. Next thing I know, all three of them rush towards me and smother me with a giant group hug.

"Guys... can't... breathe" I say hoping it will make them release me from their clutches.

"Oh sorry Em" Aria says pulling away.

"Yea we didn't mean to. We're just so excited and happy for you" Spencer says while smiling lovingly.

"I'm beyond fucking excited. It's about damn time" Hanna adds slapping my arm.

"Do you know how and when you're going to propose? Do you have any ideas about rings" Aria asks.

"Ummm. No idea about the ring. I think I'll know when I see it. And as far as a proposal... it's a work in progress. All I know is that I love her. There is no other person on this planet for me" I reply as tears threaten to fall down my cheeks.

"Aww babe, come. Let's go get Ali's ring" Aria cheers happily.

After hours of looking, we decided to stop in one more store. I was beyond exhausted but they were determined to have me find one. If I'm being honest, I was being quite picky. Even though I didn't know exactly what I wanted, I knew that I would know it was the right one the moment I laid eyes on it.

"Welcome to Neil Lane ladies. How may I help you" an older women asks joyfully.

"We're looking for the most expensive engagement rings you have" Hanna replies smirking at me.

"Actually. We'd just like to look at everything" I interject.

"I can still bring the higher end ones out from the back of you'd like me to" she replies.

"Yes. Ma'am that'd be lovely" Hanna replies before I could answer.

I decide to browse while the three of them continue talking.  
"No. No. No. Eh, maybe." I think to myself as I slowly browse the selection.

Ugh. Am I being too picky? I really want to find the perfect one though. My girl deserves nothing but perfection.

"Hanna you know Alison is not the type of girl to expect the most expensive ring" Spencer says throwing her a look of disapproval.

"I want Emily to look at everything possible. Who knows... it could be the one" Hanna replies defensively.

"Guys this is Emily's day. The focus should be on her. Not us bitching" Aria interjects trying to defuse the tension.

"Here you go my dear" the sweet sales woman says while placing a small display in front of me.

I can still hear the girls bickering in the background but I pay them no mind because my attention is on something else far for important. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks at the mere sight of it. It's just so beautiful. It's so perfect. It's so Alison.

"I think we may be onto something" the older woman smiles.

"This. This is the one" I reply while picking it up in my shaking hands.

"How much is it?" I ask even though I don't care about the price.

"This one is $155,000. Is that going to be a problem" she questions.

"Not at all. It's worth every single penny" I reply smiling widely at the glimmering rock before me.

"I'll take it" I say aloud excitedly.

"Wait what" Hanna yells suddenly as she stops her bickering with Spencer.

"You found one" Aria asks hurrying towards me.

"Yes, while y'all were fighting, I found the one" I reply beaming with joy.

"Oh my God let me see" Spencer begs me.

"Here you go my dear" the saleswoman says while handing Spencer the tiny black box.

A loud gasp escapes her lips the moment she tilts open the velvety black box. She opens her mouth as if attempting to say something but she ends up pausing and closing her mouth again.

"Wait. Is The Spencer Hastings rendered speechless? And wait... are those tears I see" I ask her jokingly.

Clearing her throat, she finally says, "It really left me speechless. It's stunning Emily. Alison is going to love it. I can't help but think about how far you've come since Alison came into your life. I always knew the Emily I see before me now was the real Emily. You just needed the right woman to show you the light".

"Stop now you're going to make me cry" I chuckle as I wipe a tear from my cheek.

"I agree Em. This is the one. You finally found it" Aria squeals.

"Gotta admit, I'm hella jealous. I hope I can get a ring like this one day" Hanna laughs still in awe of the ring.

"But in all seriousness Emily. I'm thrilled you've finally found yourself and that you're ready to take this next step. Alison is completely worth it all" Hanna adds smiling warmly.

"I know she is. And I hope I can keep this bad boy a secret until I figure out when and how I plan on proposing" I joke as I gaze down at the magnificent ring before me.

"There's just one thing that I have to do before I set any plans in motion" I reply still gazing at Alison's ring.


	36. Infinity

Emily's POV

"So you'll do it" I ask almost a little too excitedly.

"Yay! Oh my goodness! Thank you so much" I add after receiving confirmation.

Now that's all settled. Everything is coming together quite nicely and I couldn't be happier. It's been 5 weeks since I purchased Alison's engagement ring. I figured that it would be safer in a safety deposit box instead of somewhere around the apartment for Alison to stumble upon. But I'm going to need to withdraw it soon because in three days, I'm going to propose to Alison.

Overall, I would say that the proposal is nothing over the top or extravagant. It's simple and meaningful. I know that's how she would prefer it. However, I have a few surprises up my sleeve for her and I hope she loves it. More importantly, I hope she'll say yes. She just has to say yes. I can't picture my life without her. Alison needs to be my wife.

It's the night before I propose to Alison and I'm a nervous wreck. I've been trying to think about what I want to say to her when I propose and everytime I try and plan it out, the words just seem to fall short. It's not perfect and I can't accept anything less than perfection. Maybe I'll just know it in the moment. Maybe speaking from the heart will be the best way to express just how much she means to me.

Alison has been in the bathroom for almost an hour with the door closed. I've heard her take a shower, blow-dry her hair, and sing along to a wide array of songs. What the hell is she doing in there?

Finally, the door opens and out walks Alison in a black, shimmery pair of pants, high heels, a deep, v-neck, navy green top, and a leather jacket with her hair curled to perfection and natural makeup on as usual.

"Damn baby where are you going dressed like that" I ask feeling myself heat up at the sight of her.

"Remember? Grace, Lisa, Ryan, and I are going out to celebrate Ryan's new promotion" she replies nonchalantly as she slips on a pair of gold, dangling earrings.

"Oh that's right! I'm sorry. I forgot about that" I reply still checking her out. Boy I really must be stressing about this proposal because I forgot all about her night out with her nurse friends. She has talked about it for a week now. I love how excited she gets for the success of others. Her humility is one of the things I love the most about her.

"It shouldn't be too late of a night. I promise to be as quiet as possible when I come home" she says smiling before she plants a tender kiss on my lips.

"Ali, stay out as late as you want. Y'all deserve a fun night out. You know me, I probably won't even hear you come in" I chuckle.

"Alright my love. I'll be back. I love you lots" she replies before blowing me a kiss from the bedroom doorway and heading out for a night on the town.

Alison's POV

Stepping out of the cab, I make my way around a dark corner and onto a desolate street. I must admit, even after all of this time in New York, I still feel unsafe while walking the streets alone at night. I'm always careful to listen for footsteps behind me and I always watch my surroundings. One can never be too cautious.

Finally arriving at my destination, I climb a few flight of stairs and knock at the familiar door on the 3rd floor. Moments later the door opens.

"Hey you. I know it's kind of late but I had to see you" I say with a huge smile as I step through the doorway.

Taking off my jacket, I continue, "Let's make this quick".

Emily's POV

The peaceful sound of ocean waves crashing on the shore stir me from my slumber. I mindlessly cancel my alarm and turn myself to face the other side of the bed towards Alison.

To my surprise, there's no beautiful blonde sleeping soundly next to me.

"Hmm. That's odd" I say aloud as I turn myself back around to check if she left me a text message.

Sure enough, a single unread text message from Alison awaits me saying, "Hey Em. I know I said that I'd be home, but Grace drank wayyy too much last night and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone. I crashed here for the night so I could keep an eye on her. I hate not falling asleep next to you. I hate that I won't be there to wake up next to your beautiful self. I love you and I'm excited for our date night".

While I did not enjoy waking up without her next to me, I'm glad she stayed to make sure Grace would be okay.

So I told Alison that tonight I was going to take her out on a proper date since we haven't really done that since I woke up from the coma. We have spent a lot of time together and are now back to the effortless state we were in before Kate's madness entered our lives. That being said, I told her that she should still be wined, dined, and romanced. Even though she objected and said she didn't need all the fuss, I can tell that deep down, she was excited about the date. This date could change our lives forever. This really could open countless doors full of wonderful possibilities and opportunities.

Alison finally arrived home a couple hours after I woke up. We spent the rest of the day together simply running errands and browsing a farmer's market.

It's 5 o'clock now and I need to leave and put the finishing touches on the surprise "date night" location.

"Ali, it's time for me to leave and put the finishing touches on everything" I say smiling brightly as I wheel myself into the living room.

Turning her attention away from the novel she was reading, Alison peers over her glasses and says, "Already? I thought you said I had to be there by 7:45? Wherever there is".

"I know. But I want you to take some time to yourself. Take a bath, relax, and enjoy getting ready. I may even have a surprise for you while you're getting ready. But that all depends on one thing" I say coyly.

Making her way towards me, Alison smirks, sits on my lap, and asks in that sexy tone that always drives me wild, "Oh... and what might that be"?

"You be a good girl and actually follow my suggestion. It's all about you today baby" I say before cupping her face and kissing her deeply.

Pulling away reluctantly, Alison replies, "Well when you kiss me like that, I'll do just about anything".

"Good. Now get in that tub. The water is drawn, the candles are burning, and the glass of wine is within reach" I say before playfully smacking her butt.

"Expect a surprise at 6" I add while wheeling myself towards the front door.

I met Hanna downstairs and she preceded to take us to her apartment to get me glammed for the evening. Hanna, Spencer, and Aria worked their magic within 20 minutes, packed up their things, and left for my apartment. Now I'm off to finalize the setup for tonight.

Alison's POV

I've just finished the spectacularly relaxing bath Emily prepared for me and now it's time to blow dry my hair and get ready.

"Knock, knock" yell familiar voices as they enter the apartment.

Rubbing my soaking wet hair between my towel, I walk into the living room only to find my 3 newest friends piling into the apartment carrying God only knows what with them.

"Um... Aria? Spencer? Hanna? What are you doing here? If you're looking for Em, she's gone" I say while continuing to dry my hair.

"Well luckily we are here for you my dear" Aria replies while wheeling a small briefcase looking thing towards the bedroom.

Following not far behind, Spencer adds, "Yes love, we're here to give you the Hollywood treatment".

"Hair, makeup, outfit, you name it. We've got you covered" Hanna replies smiling while patting my shoulder as she passes me and enters the bedroom to join Aria and Spencer.

"Emily put you up to this didn't she" I ask collectively.

"Mhm.. like she said. Romancing, wining, and dining is the theme for the date tonight" Hanna says absentmindedly as she begins to look at my clothes in the closet.

I must admit, I'm excited that the girls are here to glam me up. I mean I always feel like I know how to dress myself and present myself in a flattering light, but it never hurts to enjoy a little special treatment. Plus I've seen what these girls do for Emily so I feel confident that they will make me look amazing for this date tonight.

"Speaking of this date tonight... What is it? Where are we going" I ask hoping one of them will share some details with me.

"Nice try Alison. But we aren't telling you anything. All we can say is that Emily really wants to make this a special date for you guys. She feels bad that you haven't been out like this in so many months that she wants to make it up to you" Spencer replies while taking a curling iron out of her bag.

"Now come. We have work to do. We have to get you out of here by 7:00. Hanna, turn on some fun music" Spencer orders as she gestures me to sit down in the makeup chair in the bathroom.

Emily's POV

A huge sigh of relief bursts through my lips the moment I realize that everything is set and ready to go. This once plain rooftop is now completely transformed thanks to about a dozen wonderful helpers.

Looking around, I see every detail is polished to perfection. The dark colored wood walkway extending from the elevator is lined with lanterns and burning candles inside each of them. Pink, yellow, and orange tulip petals tastefully cover the walkway and continue on to the lower clearing of the rooftop. From there, strategically placed wooden poles in a giant square formation support the woven strands of twinkle lights which effortlessly cast a romantic, dewy glow all around.

To the left, a large wall created by a tall, thick, green hedge separates the rooftop into two sections. One for hiding the surprise and where we will have a romantically set dinner and the other for where we'll watch the sunset together and where I'll ultimately propose.

It's under this tent of lighting, on the floor decorated with flower petals and illuminated with candlelit lanterns, and in front of the breathtaking view of the sunset that I will ask Alison to be my wife.

Alison's POV

Aria, Spencer, and Hanna left a few minutes after 7 and told me to wait for someone else to arrive at the door. All of these surprises are really starting to make me feel anxious to get to Emily.

As soon as I hear a knock at the door, I excitedly open it only to see a stumpy, plump, old man standing before me.

Straightening the collar on his blazer and aligning his driver's hat, he clears his throat and says, "Hello my dear. My name is Edgar and I am here to take you to your date. You'll be riding in style this evening Miss Alison".

Extending his arm for me to take, he asks, "Shall we"?

Smiling, I take his arm and we walk down the stairs and outside to an parked stretch limo.

After dipping my head safely under the door frame, he closes the door and walks towards the front of the car. My attention turns towards a glass and a chilled bottle of champagne in the bucket nearby.

Tilted up against the chilled champagne is a small, buldging envelope with the words, "My Love" written on it in perfect cursive. Of course this is Emily. I would recognize this handwriting anywhere. I quickly take it in my hands, open it, and read the simple note inside.

"I hope you're excited to spend some time with me tonight. I want to make you feel special and say thank you for the endless sacrifices that you have made for me. Enjoy the champagne on the drive over. My only request is that you place this blindfold over your eyes when Edgar tells you to do so. He'll be your guide till you've arrived at your final destination. I love you so much Alison. I'm counting down the minutes till I can kiss those beautiful lips. Love, Emily".

Tears threaten to ruin all the hard work Aria put into my makeup as I read these words. Emily is truly the greatest human being that I have ever known. God I love this woman.

As soon as Edgar gave the word, I gently applied the blindfold that was neatly tucked away in the envelope. The moment I lost the sense of sight, something else came alive within me. In the center of my chest, I began to feel the flutter of a thousand butterflies. Where was I going? What was ahead of me tonight?

All I know is that I can't wait to see Emily.

When the car finally stopped, I waited till Edgar came around and guided me out of the car. Taking his arm once more, he guided me into a building and into an elevator. My curiosity begins to boil to an all time high with every passing second.

The sound of the elevator door sliding open brings a smile to my face because I can feel how close I am to Emily.

"We're here my dear" Edgar says after he leads me a few steps out of the elevator.

"Enjoy yourself tonight. She has an unforgettable night planned for you" were the last words I heard from him before he gently removed the blindfold covering my eyes and quietly slipped into the elevator once more.

The moment my eyes adjusted to the light, all the air in my lungs immediately escaped through my lips. Placing my hand over my mouth in suprise and amazement, I began to take in the beautiful setting before me. Slowly taking steps foward, I gaze upon every little detail from the brightly colored tulip petals guiding my direction to the candlelit lanterns flickering a romantic glow all around.

As my eyes follow the walkway, I stop dead in my tracks the instant I see a beaming Emily sitting at the end of the walkway under a tented structure made of twisted strands of twinkle lights. She looks so beautiful in the dewy light from the setting sun behind her.

The moment I realize what she is wearing, I can't help but smile and allow the flood of memories fill my mind. I quickly make my way to her, cup her face in my hands, and crash our lips together in a passionate kiss.

Pulling away, I smile and say, "This is breathtaking. Thank you Emily".

Wiping away a single tear from my cheek, Emily replies, "You're welcome my love. This is my way of saying thank you".

"I love your outfit by the way. I think it's my all time favorite" I say winking at her.

"Why thank you. As you can tell by what you're wearing as well, I thought we'd have a little throw back to our first date" she smiles widely.

"Do you recognize where you are" Emily asks.

Looking around for a moment, it takes me a moment to realize where we are.

"Oh my gosh I didn't recognize it from all of the beautiful decorations! Babe you brought us back to where we met again at the speed dating event" I reply as I reflect on the moment I saw her in that killer outfit.

"You've got it" Emily says while taking my hand and intertwining her fingers into mine.

Turning to face the sunset she continues, "And I thought we'd watch the sunset together to pay homage to our first sunset together on the beach".

Squeezing her hand a little tighter, I smile and say, "Babe I love that idea... And I love you... Oh look, it's about to set".

I take a seat on her lap and Emily wraps her arms around my waist in a loving embrace as we turn our attention to the setting sun. In the minutes that follow, we remain silent as we take in the spectacular sight and enjoy each other's company. There's something to be said about being completely comfortable in a relationship where you don't feel the need to fill silence with pointless conversation.

The moment the sun says goodbye to New York over the horizon, Emily turns to me and looks me in the eyes without saying a word. I swear everytime her deep, brown eyes lock with my eyes, I feel my chest ache only in the best way possible. It's almost like my body instinctively knows that Emily is the one for me.

Suddenly, Emily taps my waist and breaks the silence saying, "You stay here and continue to take in the beautiful colors of the sky. I'll be back with some sparkling stuff".

As she wheels herself around the other side of a large, green hedge and disappears from view, I turn my attention to the skyline. Gently placing my hands on the ledge, I close my eyes and take in everything around me. Up here on the rooftop, it's so peaceful. It feels like we are up in the clouds, miles above the loud hustle bustle of the city. In this moment, I truly feel like I'm in my own little world with Emily.

The sound of Emily's voice behind me saying my name in the way that always pulls at my heart strings prompts me to turn around and face her.

Instantaneously, my knees begin to buckle and I feel like my legs are about to fall out beneath me as I begin to cry.

Before me, Emily stands tall and proud with the biggest smile I've ever seen paint her beautiful face.

As she confidently and steadily takes each step towards me, I feel myself fall apart more and more in nothing but a fit of happy tears. After meeting each other halfway, I can see she's now crying tears of joy too.

Cupping her face in my hands, I say in between sniffles, "Baby you can walk! When did this happen? Oh my God I'm so happy for you!".

Now wiping away my tears, she lovingly places a strand of my hair behind my ears and says, "About a week ago. I wanted to surprise you".

"Well you've definitely succeeded. I always knew you'd be able to walk again. I never gave up hope" I reply before kissing her.

"I don't know if I can take anymore wonderful surprises today" I add still in amazement that she's walking again.

"Well buckle up baby because there's more" Emily laughs.

"Guys" she says as she relaxes our embrace and turns to face the same area she disappeared behind moments ago.

Suddenly Spencer, Hanna, and Aria appear with huge smiles across their face as they make their way towards us.

"Hi guys" I say excitedly as I hug each of them.

Without word, they step aside and oddly turn their attention to where they came from.

Suddenly, my mother and father appear from around the corner and I instantly fall apart again.

"Mom! Dad!" I yell before I run over to them and smother them in a big group hug.

After minutes of crying and holding onto each other tightly, I finally pull away and give both a loving kiss on the cheek.

"Hi peanut" my dad says smiling while rubbing the top of my shoulder.

"We're so glad to see you baby" my mom says holding on to my hands as she continues to fight back tears.

"It's been so long. You have no idea how much I've missed you guys" I reply looking at both of them, still in shock that I'm seeing my parents after so many years away from one another.

"Well thanks to Emily, we're finally able to be here and in your life again" my father says as he smiles fondly towards Emily.

Extending my hand for Emily to take, I intertwine our fingers and sweetly kiss the back of her hand. "Thank you Emily. From the bottom of my heart".

"You're so welcome Ali. You deserve thid and so much more" Emily says as she looks at me with so much love in her eyes.

As Emily gingerly takes both of my hands, I feel her begin to tremble as she looks down at her feet.

"Em, what's wrong? Why are you shaking" I ask unsure as to why she's so nervous all of the sudden.

Lifting her head, our eyes meet, and I see her eyes glistening.

Clearing her throat, she says with a nervous tone of voice, "So I bet you're wondering why a date for the two of us has turned out like this".

"A little bit, but I don't mind" I say with a slight chuckle. "It's been amazing so far".

"Well I wanted us to be surrounded by family tonight. I know how important family is to you so I wanted them to be here" she replies still shaking nervously.

After taking a deep breath, Emily says, "Alison, I love you. It's like my soul and every fiber of my being knew that I needed you the moment I saw your beautiful face for the first time. Before you came into my life, I was a shell of a person. I was selfish, impulsive, lost, and living a meaningless life without valuing myself or others. But then you came into my life and made me want to be better. I wanted to rise to the occassion and deserve you and your love. I wanted to be the woman you knew was buried away inside of me. All along you've seen right to the heart of me. You've made me come alive and if I'm being completely honest, you've had all of me...mind, body, and spirit for quite some time now. I know we've been through a lot already and you've stuck by me and loved me through it all. I can never thank you enough for that. Ali when I look at you, I see a future. A future full of promise and one of endless happiness and love together. Baby you're the only woman for me. You are the great love of my life. We fit together. Our love simply makes sense. We belong together now and forever more".

I can't control the tears flowing from my eyes as I listen to Emily pour her heart out to me. I love everything she's saying to me, but I'm still not quite understanding what's brought on the sudden flow of emotion and deep expression of love for me.

"So Alison" Emily says as she reaches into her pocket and gets down on one knee, "In front of our loved ones, I'm asking you to take this step with me".

Gently flicking open a tiny black box and revealing a gigantic, sparkling, diamond ring, Emily takes my left hand and asks, "Alison, will you marry me?".

In this moment, I'm left utterly speechless and completely overcome with emotion. This is all so overwhelming but more importantly, it feels right. My heart has belonged to Emily for a long time now. I know in my heart of hearts that there is no other woman on this planet that will ever love me the way that she does. I will never love anyone as much as I love Emily.

"Yes of course I'll marry you" I reply excitedly, causing Emily's eyes to widen as a huge smile forms across her face.

My hand begins to shake, but Emily steadies my hand and gently slides the ring onto my finger.

Looking up at me all teary eyed, she stands up so we're now eye to eye.

"Em, I love you so much" I say stepping closer to her.

"I love you more Ali" she replies before pulling me in and kissing me like she's never kissed me before. The electricity I feel in this moment is surely incomparable to any kiss we've shared before. This kiss marks an unforgettable moment in our relationship and perfectly encapsulates the love that we share.

Everyone cheers and claps around us as we share this moment together. Breaking the kiss, we smile at one another before we turn our attention to everyone else eagerly awaiting to hug and congratulate each of us.

When all the tears of joy finally stopped, we all shared dinner together on a beautifully set table underneath the stars in celebration of our engagement.

Eventually, everyone went their separate ways for the evening. Thankfully, my parents were staying a few days in a hotel close to our apartment. I can't wait to see them tomorrow.

But tonight...tonight is a night only meant to be shared with Emily, my fiancé, the love of my life.

Emily's POV

As Alison and I arrive at the front door of our apartment, I unlock it, open it, and turn to face her.

"I know that look. What are you about to do" Alison asks curiously while raising her eyebrow.

"Oh nothing. Just this" I smirk before I swiftly sweep her off her feet and carry her through the doorway, kicking the door shut behind us.

Giggling with delight, Alison wraps her arms around my neck, and gives me that look that only means one thing.

"You know when you look at me like that, you set my body on fire" I say in a sexy tone.

Leaning closer Alison whispers, "That's kind of the point babe. Now...are we just going to stand here or are you going to show me all of those things you promised to do to my body?".

Without another word, I close the space between our lips and kiss her passionately while carrying her to our bed.

I know I said that I'd make her feel pleasure like she's never felt before, but it won't be in a meaningless way. This isn't fucking. This is making love to my fiancé.

I set her down just before the foot of the bed and take off my blazer.

"Take off your clothes" I order her. "And I mean all of them".

Initially taken back by my forceful tone, Alison then happily obliges... never breaking our eye contact.

Now completely naked and standing confidently before me, Ali looks to me for further direction.

Slowly stepping closer to her, I gaze at her exquisite figure, helplessly biting my lip, and desperately needing to have all of her.

The amount of desire within me finally overflows so I spin her away from me and pull her close at the waist.

Lightly pulling all of her hair to one side, I delicately kiss her now exposed neck. Trailing kisses down to her shoulder while gliding my hands up to her exposed chest, I occasionally stop and nip at various spots on her shoulder, feeling her body react to the sudden change in sensation.

As my hand glides lower, fluttering softly over her skin, I can feel Ali's body tense in anticipation. Quickened breaths escape her lips as she throws her head back the moment I halt my hand over her center.

"Mmm... I bet you'd like me to touch you there wouldn't you" I say hungrily in her ear.

Alison simply nods her head yes, seemingly unable to form words.

Spinning her around again to face me, I see the brewing lust culminating in her blue orbs.

"Get on the bed" I order as I walk towards her, causing her to fall on the bed, slink her way towards the center, and look to me for more instruction.

"Good girl. Now I want you to touch yourself" I order as I begin to undress myself slowly.

"You what" she asks looking surprised and a little embarrassed.

"You heard me. I want to watch you pleasure yourself" I say simply as I slowly remove my earrings. "And don't close your eyes. I want you to look at me".

Pausing for a moment, Alison stops to think about what I just asked her to do. Shortly after, a smirk forms across her lips as scoots herself further into the bed, propping her back against the headboard. Gliding her hand down her stomach and finally towards her center, she stops right over her center and watches as anticipation undoubtedly predominates my facial expression. Knowing that she's got me hooked, she finally slides one finger in, slowly entering and retracting until she adds another finger and quickens the pace.

Watching her body relax and her eyes quickly fill with impending ecstasy, I hasten the removal of my clothes, not sure I can keep myself from her body much longer.

As her moans deepen and increase in frequency, I can tell she's not far from the edge. Seizing the moment, I quickly climb on top of her, forcefully removing her hand from her center, and taking it into my mouth.

Alison whimpers the moment I pull her back from the edge.

"Shh... baby it's okay. Let me finish for you" I smirk as I plant small, quick kisses on her lips.

Quickly finding the pulse point on her neck, I suck on it while twisting her nipples between my fingers, causing Alison to moan and grab onto my hair, clearly enjoying what I was doing.

Replacing one set of fingers with my mouth, I hungrily suck on her breasts, feeling them stiffen as a result of the attention.

"Em... stop teasing me" Alison begs as I continue to show a little love to her perky breasts.

Looking up at her, I can see she's more than ready to achieve release.

"As you wish" I smile as I run my hands along her hourglass figure and soak in her intoxicating body.

The moment my hands glide over her ribs, Alison winces for only a second.

"What's wrong Ali? Did I hurt you" I ask feeling concerned.

Alison simply smiles and looks down to her side, guiding me to what she's looking at.

Removing my hand from her side, I see that the skin by her tattoo is reddened. Upon further inspection, I realize that her tattoo looks different from the last time I saw it.

"You... you got it filled in" I croak, feeling a lump form in my throat as tears begin to cloud my vision.

Gently tracing my fingers over it, I continue, "And you added our names".

Breaking my trance, I look to Alison and see her smiling brightly at me. "I got it done before I went out for Ryan's celebration. I tracked down the original guy that did it for me and begged him to finish it for me last night. So I went to his apartment and he finished it before I met up with everyone. I was going to surprise you on our date tonight, but you kind of took the cake in that department" Alison giggles.

Gently reaching up and placing her hand on my cheek, Alison continues, "I knew that you were the one for me. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Finishing this tattoo just shows how sure I am of what we have. Saying yes to you tonight, in front of our family, and in such a beautiful setting was a dream come true. I'm so ready to call you my wife. I'm so ready to become Alison Fields. I want a family with you. I want all of the wonderful times ahead of us...I love you Emily".

Turning my face towards her hand, deepening her simple embrace, I allow my emotions to flow through my veins and reflect on how much I love her.

"I love you too Alison" I reply while leaning down and lovingly connecting out lips. "More than anything".

A few weeks later, Alison and I decide that we'd do a live stream for all of my supporters and discuss what we'd been through, share the good news about our engagement, and tell them a bit about our plans for the future.

Sitting down in front of our computer, Alison and I nervously prepare for the live stream.

"You ready babe" I ask Alison.

"You know it" she smiles as she links our arms together.

"Okay let's do this" I say taking a deep breath before I click for us to go live.

Instantly, I see that hundreds of thousands of fans are logging on and the number only grows by the second.

"Hi guys" we both wave excitedly.

"So I just want to say thank you all for reading my tweet a few days ago and for logging on to this live stream. I also want to start by introducing you all to my girl here, Alison" I say pointing towards her.

"Nice to finally talk to you all" Alison replies with her classic, beautiful smile.

Turning back to the computer, I continue, "So I bet you all have a lot of questions for us but I'll just highlight all of the important parts for you guys. I chose not to do a sit down interview with anyone from the media because I wanted you to hear it directly from us and in the exact way that we want you to hear it. Months ago, I received threatening messages from an unknown source that tried to get me to break up with Alison. Of course I said no but eventually the threat became even more serious and I was unsuccessful at identifying the culprit. So in order to keep her safe, I did what this person said and broke her heart. It was the worst day of my life and I still regret it to this day. As the news reported, I was attacked at a beachouse in the Hamptons by the person that sent those messages and threats. And yes, it was Alison's ex girlfriend that was abusive towards her in the past and nearly killed her. I almost died from the attack and was in and coma for awhile. Due to my injures, I was paralyzed from the waist down for a period of time too. In that transition time, Alison and I worked hard to get back to the place we were in before our lives turned upside down".

Smiling at Alison, I continue, "And we definitely succeeded".

"Go ahead baby. Tell them" I add awhile gently nudging her arm.

Alison looks at me, smiles widely again, and simply flashes her left hand in view of the camera.

"We got engaged" she cheers excitedly. "But sorry guys, we aren't going to share those details with you. We have to keep some things private" she adds winking at the viewers.

"She's right guys. I've gotta maintain some level of privacy. As much as I love all of you" I say tapping my hand over my heart.

"We will say though that the future is bright for us. We have lots of big plans and we hope that you'll continue to support us and come through for us when we need your help. We love you guys so much and thank you again for all of your support. Bye guys! Have a great day!"

I click off the live button, take Alison's hand, and lead her to our bed.

Climbing into bed together, Alison stops and looks over to me with contentment and pure love in her eyes.

"Whatcha thinking about my love" I ask after giving her a sweet kiss.

"Oh nothing. I'm just glad we did it like that. I'm also glad we didn't share everything we have planned for our future" she giggles before laying her head on my chest.

Absentmindedly running my fingers through her golden locks, I reply, "Me too. Believe me, I want us to have as much of a private life as possible. I want our supporters to be involved when it counts the most. Like down the line when we launch The Infinity Foundation. We're going to need it if we are going to tackle the issues of intimate partner violence, women's health, and when we build clean water sources, schools, and hospitals in struggling countries".

"But for now, we'll just enjoy being engaged and planning our wedding. I'll go back to work and start my studies to become a nurse practitioner. You'll go back to your modeling" Alison adds while tracing small circles over my stomach.

"And down the line, we'll move to a bigger house on the outskirts of New York and adopt a little boy and little girl" I say happily before kissing the top of her head.

Looking up at me now, Alison smiles happily and says, "We are going to have a great life together. I'm so thankful for you and our love. I love you babe".

After sharing a long, loving kiss, I pull away and say, "Me too baby. Me too. I love you beyond measure and I can't wait to grow old with you".

 ** _Andddd that's a wrap! Thank you guys so much for reading this story and for going along this ride with me! I hope y'all loved this story as much as I do. I love how loyal, passionate, and into it some of y'all were in the comments section._**

 ** _Feel free to spread the word about the story if y'all want. Also let me know about your final thoughts on the story!_**

 ** _If you really loved Issues, have no fear. I'm not done completely with writing. I have another story that I am working on! It's called Politico. I'll upload the chapters I have so far!_**

 ** _XOXO!_**


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